Chapter 19: Meet Invidia of Envy (Minah)

I am Min-Ah Sawada, a homunculus, born from the merging of a Korean man's and a Japanese woman's genes in an artificial womb.Unfortunately, I was born with the overwhelming flaw of envy—hence my codename, "Invidia." My envy consumes me, especially when it comes to my own sisters, the ones who share the same origin as I do.I envy Superbia Maeve for her regal air, her pride, elegance, and the authority that seems to flow from her very being. I envy Ira Benesha for her fiery spirit, her unwavering zeal, and the bold confidence she carries. I envy Luxuria Haniya for her breathtaking beauty and the purity of her soul.But I don't envy Eliza, Kayla, or Mandane in the same way, because I consider them beneath me. Eliza's wealth is something I covet, while Kayla's carefree, indulgent lifestyle fascinates me. Mandane, on the other hand, is plain and unremarkable, though I do see potential in her. Maeve, too, once mentioned the fear she felt when Mandane pushed herself to her fullest potential... but that's neither here nor there.The one I envy the most, though, is Lilith Maria. I despise how much I long to be her. She embodies the best traits of every one of my sisters, in ways I could never achieve.Maria is more regal than Maeve, more zealous than Benesha, more angelic than Haniya, and far more ambitious than I could ever be. She surpasses Eliza in greed, makes Kayla's hedonism seem tame, and is everything Mandane could have been, had she committed fully to her potential. Maria is the magnum opus of our creation— the "Perfect Eve."But just as Eve was granted to Adam, we, as the first homunculi women, have an inherent, natural desire to be someone's chosen woman.Benesha has Tshikuta—the man to whom she is engaged. And I've heard of her younger brother, Sansula. Maria is engaged to him, and if she believes him to be the right "Adam" for her, then who am I to doubt that?So I want him for myself. I want Sansula. I need him to be with me.Before I met Sansula, I took a winter vacation to Tokyo, Japan, in 2029 with my parents. The trip was a chance to visit my grandparents and the extended family on my Japanese side.In Japan, my name is written as "美永" (Mina) in Kanji. 美 means "beauty, beautiful, pretty," symbolizing pleasing appearance and attractive qualities. 永 means "eternity, permanence," signifying something that endures forever. In essence, my beauty and admirable traits are thought to be permanent, always worthy of praise. Yet, I don't feel that way about myself, which feels strangely ironic.I've always envied those who seem to stand above me. I aspire to greater heights, to become better. But in my heart, I often feel like I'm not quite good enough.One afternoon, I sat with my nieces in a cozy bedroom, chatting about life in the Netherlands and, of course, boys."You're so pretty, Mina-chan!" they said, their eyes wide with admiration. "Are all Asian girls in Holland born with light hair and light eyes like you?""Oh, stop it!" I laughed, feeling a little bashful."Do you have a boyfriend, Mina-chan?" they asked, curiosity piqued."Hmmm, no, I don't..." I replied with a soft smile."What?! Aren't there tons of tall, handsome guys in Holland? How come you haven't pursued any?" they probed further."I haven't met anyone worth pursuing," I said, nonchalantly."What's your type, then?" they asked, eager to know.I paused, thinking for a moment. I'd never really considered it before. "Someone who the best woman on earth wants to be with," I answered thoughtfully."Huh??" they stared at me, caught off guard by my response. "But wouldn't that make it difficult for you to pursue him?""Exactly," I smiled, a gleam in my eye. "That's the point. It would push me to surpass the best woman on earth, to become someone worthy of pursuing him..."A week had passed since that conversation with my nieces. Now, on New Year's Eve, I decided to go out with them to celebrate. We all wore kimonos for the occasion. My kimono was pink, adorned with delicate white and blue flower prints, reflecting the beauty and tradition of the moment.