Team 7 Wins Kakashi Loses

The gates of Konoha stood tall against the midday sun, the familiar bustle of the village humming with life.

Team 7 walked through them—victorious but weary—carrying the weight of their first true mission.

Naruto Uzumaki led the charge, arms behind his head, grinning ear to ear.

"We did it, guys! We beat a jonin! We're basically legends now!"

Sasuke Uchiha snorted, his arms crossed. "We survived. Barely."

Sakura Haruno smiled tiredly, relieved to be home.

"Well, at least we're back in one piece."

Raven Kamizuki, calm as ever, smirked.

"I don't know… I think I came back a little cooler."

Naruto groaned.

"Oh, come on! You always say that!"

Kakashi Hatake trailed behind, nose buried in his book, though his visible eye remained watchful.

His thoughts drifted not to the mission's success but to a far more dangerous matter—Sayuri Arata's wrath.

If she finds out I let her son nearly die… I'm dead.

The Arata residence greeted Naruto with the scent of fresh-baked pizza—a deceptive welcome.

Sayuri Arata (Raven in disguise) stood in the kitchen, hands on hips, her long white hair tied back.

"Welcome home, hero," she said with a smile.

"Mom!" Naruto ran forward, showing his forehead protector.

"I passed my first mission—and we fought this guy named Zabuza—"

Raven interrupted Naruto's story when he mentioned Ramen.

WHACK.

A swift chop to the head interrupted his victory speech.

"OW! What was that for?!"

Sayuri narrowed her eyes.

"You fought a jonin and all you did was spam Ramen Clones?!"

"They worked, didn't they?!"

Sayuri's face twitched.

"Is your brain made of noodles, boy?!"

Naruto rubbed his head, indignant.

"Ramen got me through it!"

Sayuri sighed dramatically.

"I've been teaching you basic jutsu since you could crawl, and all you remember is Ramen Clone? I'm going to train the ramen out of you!"

Naruto's eyes widened in horror.

"No! Not that!"

"Yes. That."

In the backyard, Sayuri cracked her knuckles.

"Alright, we're going to cover the basics. Fire. Wind. And breaking out of genjutsu."

Naruto grumbled but complied.

Sayuri demonstrated the Fireball Jutsu.

"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

A roaring ball of flame shot into the sky.

"Now you."

Naruto tried. His first result was more like a belch of smoke.

Sayuri sighed.

"You breathe fire, not smoke signals!"

Wind practice followed.

Cutting leaves with chakra control.

Naruto shredded a single leaf… after two hours.

Sayuri pressed on.

"Now—genjutsu dispelling. Picture this—an enemy traps you in a hallucination… of ramen. You're eating, but you're actually standing still, ready to be stabbed."

Naruto gasped in horror.

"That's evil!"

Sayuri smirked.

"You're fighting shinobi, not chefs. Now, break free!"

She cast a mild genjutsu—Naruto was surrounded by bowls of Ichiraku Ramen.

His stomach growled.

"Ramen…"

WHACK.

Sayuri's chop brought him back.

"I said break the genjutsu, not fall deeper!"

After several hours, Naruto collapsed onto the grass, exhausted.

Sayuri sat beside him, wiping her brow.

"You know… if you're so obsessed with ramen… maybe you should weaponize it."

Naruto blinked.

"What?"

Sayuri smirked.

"You could turn your Ramen Clones into something deadlier. Dried, hardened noodles that pierce armor—like senbon needles. Or like Jiraiya's Needle Jizo technique. Imagine: Ramen Senbon—death by noodle humiliation."

Naruto sat up, eyes sparkling.

"Deadly ramen… That's… genius!"

Sayuri grinned.

"Ramen isn't just food. It's a weapon… if you're creative."

Naruto clenched his fists.

"Mom, you're a genius!"

Sayuri thought internally: I know.

Later that evening, Raven visited her parents at The Crusty Kunai.

Her father, Hajime Kamizuki, stood at the counter, arms crossed, eyes blazing.

"One day… Pizza will inherit the earth."

Raven grinned.

"Go on."

Hajime raised a hand dramatically.

"There will be no wars. No nations. Just crust. Cheese. Sauce.

Rival lords will surrender for a perfect slice.

And all who oppose the Pizza Empire will be sentenced to… dishwashing!"

Aiko Kamizuki appeared from the kitchen, wielding her rolling pin.

"You're corrupting our daughter with this nonsense!"

WHACK.

Hajime recoiled.

Raven laughed but leaned closer.

"…I'm already on it Dad!"

Hajime's eyes twinkled.

"The prophecy lives."

Aiko shook her head.

"You two… lunatics."

Raven's thoughts turned serious.

One day, the Crusty Kunai would expand into every nation. Pizza would spread. And those who wronged the innocent… would wash dishes for eternity.

She smiled.

"Pizza shall rise."

Elsewhere, Kakashi sat atop a rooftop, his usual orange book in hand, though his heart wasn't in it.

His visible eye drifted toward the Arata residence, and he shivered involuntarily.

The echo of Sayuri's voice rang in his mind—that dangerously sweet tone that always preceded pain.

"Did you let my son nearly die, Kakashi?"

He gulped, his hand trembling as he turned a page.

The romantic passage before him described a daring kunoichi overpowering a rogue ninja with "passionate force."

Sweat beaded on his forehead.

He snapped the book shut.

She'll know… she always knows…

"I need… pizza," he whispered to himself, needing comfort food before his inevitable demise.

Back in his room, Naruto lay on his futon, staring at the ceiling, his body sore from training, but his mind racing.

Deadly Ramen Senbon.

The idea burned bright in his imagination—clones forming and exploding into hardened, needle-like ramen strands.

Enemies pierced by brittle but lethal noodles, their pride and flesh destroyed in one stroke.

He grinned, clenching his fist.

"Ramen will conquer all…"

Then his stomach grumbled loudly.

"…after I eat."

That night, Raven stood on the rooftop of the Crusty Kunai, staring out over Konoha's lights.

The village was peaceful now, but she knew the storm was approaching—Orochimaru, the Chūnin Exams, and the looming tensions with Danzo.

Her Rinnegan flickered briefly, before she suppressed it.

She thought of Naruto—her son, her legacy.

He was growing stronger, but the world would not wait for him.

Sayuri had pushed him today—but it was Raven who planned his future.

She clutched her pendant, the spiral crest of the Uzumaki Clan, as her mind drifted to Uzu no Sato—her true home, the Sisters of Virtue, and Mikoto.

The Free Love Revolution was growing, and soon, the world would know their name.

But for now…

She smirked, imagining Gato scrubbing dishes for eternity.

"One pizza shop at a time," she whispered to the night.

As the first light of dawn crept over Konoha, Naruto shot up from his futon, pumped with new energy.

"Today's the day!"

He slapped his cheeks.

Sayuri was waiting outside, arms crossed, but a slight smile on her lips.

"Ready to train?"

"You bet!" Naruto grinned.

"And don't forget…"

Sayuri leaned in, eyes glinting.

"…Deadly Ramen Senbon."

Naruto's eyes blazed with passion.

"Ramen will pierce the heavens!"

Sayuri laughed, but behind her mirth was pride.

Her son was growing into the man she knew he could be.

And with him, her revolution would change the world—

one bowl of ramen and one slice of pizza at a time.

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