CHAPTER 44

The morning light filtered softly through the blinds as I stood in my kitchen, busy with the mundane task of cleaning up. My hands moved automatically, scrubbing the counter, organizing the clutter, but my mind was elsewhere. It had been a long night—longer than I wanted to admit. After Alexander had left last night, I couldn't get his words out of my head. His apology, his regret, his promise to change. The idea of him coming back into my life—it made me sick and excited at the same time. But I wasn't ready for that. Not yet. Not when the wounds he had left me with were still so fresh.

I wiped a stray tear from my cheek, not wanting to think about the things that hurt me the most. Ember was still asleep in her crib, her soft breaths filling the silence of the apartment. I felt a strange peace when I watched her sleep. The world felt a little less heavy when it was just the two of us. But then there was Alexander. His presence lingered in my thoughts like an unwelcome ghost, always there, haunting me with what could have been.

Just as I finished drying the last dish, I heard a knock at the door. My heart skipped for a second, but I immediately told myself it was probably nothing. Just a neighbor, or maybe Sarah coming by to help with Ember. But deep down, I knew who it was. I knew he would show up again.

I walked slowly to the door, hesitated for a second, and then opened it.

And there he was. Alexander. Standing there with a hesitant expression, holding a bag of takeout and a small pile of baby clothes. I almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. He thought this was enough to fix things between us.

"Isabella," he said softly, looking down at the bag in his hands. "I brought you some food. And... some baby things. I know it's not much, but I wanted to help."

I stood there for a moment, just staring at him. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept in days. His eyes were bloodshot, his shoulders slumped as if the weight of everything that had happened was wearing him down. But it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Not yet. I couldn't let him back in. Not while I was still broken.

"Thanks," I said, my voice steady but cold. "You can come in, I guess."

He stepped inside without hesitation, like he had every right to be there. I couldn't deny that the gesture was kind, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to erase everything he had done, everything he had put me through. He was trying, but trying wasn't enough.

I led him into the living room, where Ember was still asleep. Alexander glanced over at her, his expression softening for a brief moment. The guilt was evident in his eyes as he placed the food and baby clothes on the table.

"I... I can help you with her," he said quietly. "If you need a break. I know I haven't been there for you, but I want to change that. I want to be here for you, Isabella. I'll do whatever it takes."

I didn't say anything at first. I just watched him. I didn't know how to feel about him anymore. He was trying, yes, but there was still too much pain, too much hurt between us. I didn't know if I could ever trust him again. I didn't know if I could ever let him back into my life. Not when I had built walls so high around myself.

Ember stirred in her crib, and I immediately went to her, picking her up gently and holding her close. She looked up at me with those innocent eyes, and I felt my heart soften. Everything I had done, all the anger and bitterness, had been for her. To protect her from the hurt I had experienced. To give her a life filled with love and security, not lies and betrayal.

Alexander watched from the doorway, his eyes on Ember, his face full of longing.

"I didn't want this for her," he said quietly, his voice strained. "I didn't want to hurt you like I did. I didn't want to hurt her. I never wanted any of this."

I took a deep breath, turning to face him. "You did, though," I said softly. "You hurt me, Alexander. You lied to me. And you almost destroyed everything. I can't just forget that."

"I know," he said, his voice breaking. "I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't change what I did, but I can try to make it right. Please, let me try."

I felt a knot form in my throat as I looked at him. Part of me wanted to scream at him, to tell him how much he had broken me. How much he had betrayed my trust. But another part of me—the part that still loved him—wanted to believe that he was truly sorry. That he was capable of change.

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. "You don't get to just fix things with a couple of apologies, Alexander. It doesn't work like that. I can't just pretend like everything's fine because you want it to be. I need time. I need to heal. And I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you did."

He looked like I had slapped him, his face falling as he took a step toward me. "I understand. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I'll keep proving it to you, Isabella. I'll keep showing you that I'm different. That I can be the man you once trusted. The man you once loved."

I turned away, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "You've hurt me so much, Alexander. I don't know if I can ever trust you again. I don't know if I can ever love you the same way."

There was a long silence, and I could feel him standing behind me, his presence heavy in the room. But I couldn't look at him. Not yet. Not when I was still so raw.

"I'll wait, Isabella," he said softly. "I'll wait for as long as it takes. I won't push you. I'll give you the space you need. But I'm not going anywhere. I want to be here for you. For Ember. I want to be the man you deserve, even if it takes me a lifetime to prove it."

I didn't respond at first. I didn't know what to say. His words were too much, too soon, and I wasn't ready to accept them. But I knew one thing for sure: I wasn't ready to let him back in. Not yet.

But I didn't push him away either. I couldn't.

Instead, I turned back toward Ember, cradling her in my arms as she settled back into her sleep. Alexander sat down across from me, his eyes never leaving me.

The rest of the day was quiet. Alexander helped with Ember, changing her diaper and feeding her while I took a break for the first time in weeks. I watched him from the corner of my eye, trying to gauge if he was really serious about making things right, about being the man he said he was. But even as he helped around the house, I couldn't help but wonder: Would it ever be enough? Would I ever be able to let go of the pain he had caused?

When the evening came, and Ember had fallen asleep again, I walked Alexander to the door. He stood there for a moment, looking at me, his expression unreadable.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, my heart a heavy weight in my chest. "We'll see," I said softly.

And with that, he left. The door clicked softly behind him, and I was left standing in the silence of the apartment, feeling the weight of everything I had to carry, still unsure of where the future would take me.