CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR-MILAN

GOODBYES ARE NOT FOREVER

Completely broken; I vent all my frustration to cigarettes, alcohol and pain pills. I don't know where Real is and nothing interests me anymore. Two days pass by and my parents and Daryn return. Daryn's father comes to get her and it just makes everything worse. All I do now is just stay in my room; smoke, drink and sleep.

"Baby, what's wrong with you?" Mom asks.

"Everything." I tell her.

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

"There's nothing you can do coz it's not your fault.

"Then who, is it Real?" Mom holds my hand and moving away; I tell her:

"You can't understand."

"I'll get your father to talk to you." she says.

I make my way for the balcony and just stand by the edge. Heavy footsteps fill the atmosphere, it's dad.

"What's wrong Milan. Look, if you need any help then you gotta speak." He says.

"Didn't ask for your help." I tell him with a glance.

"I know you didn't, but I offered. Look, you're going to be having your finals soon and this won't help."

"As if you're really ever proud." I coldly say.

"Look son, I just want you to be the best."

"Does that mean everybody else lies about me and only you tell the truth?" I ask looking at him. He takes a second to process everything.

"Look Milan, that's not really what I tried to mean."

"Seemed so to me."

He opens his mouth to say something, but I quickly cut him off because he's just gonna defend his mistakes and judgement. He does that all the time.

"For once in your life, can't you just be a helpful dad?!" I yell.

"Fine, tell me the problem."

He asks, finally. I take a second to gather my thoughts together.

"Got fucked and got dumped." I say looking down.

"Damn, did you use protection?"

"Duh." I rely.

"Look son, I know how it's like to experience that, but then if you gotta keep going then you need to forget about her." he says with his hand on my shoulder.

I look at him and

My ribs hit up. How can he tell me that? he really doesn't care.

"Thanks a lot dad, for not helping." I tell him as I leave.

"Maybe you should meet your psychiatrist." Dad yells and I just leave.

I go down the stairs and out of the house, mom tries to stop me, but I just ignore her and dad tells her how much I need space. Mom breaks down crying; it breaks my heart, but there's nothing I can do to help her out, because my heart is broken and I feel like a worthless person with no purpose.

Over a month passes by and still nothing from Real. I send her a few texts of which she replies to none. That was no way to end a relationship; if at all it started, which it didn't. it's Monday and I have to meet my counsellor; I get into Maria's office.

"Morning Milan." She says with a warm smile.

I just look at her coldly and take my seat.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Normal." I lie;

I'm feeling abnormal and I don't think I'll ever be okay again. everyday is frustrating for me and these headaches are killing me.

"Your mom called and said you're the same as you were about thirty days ago, what's going on?"

"A lot." I reply.

"Would you like to talk to your psychiatrist?" she asks.

"Mm." I say as I shake my head.

"I believe it's connected to someone, a girl maybe?"

I just seat quietly and don't reply to her anymore.

"Milan, hello." She snaps.

The bell the goes and I just walk out of her office.

It's Friday and it's Zoey's birthday, I've known her since middle school but didn't talk much because she's Sasha's best friend. She texts me for the 100th time, requesting me to attend it, but I've never really attended it since freshman year. I'd rather lay in my bed than be with some people screaming for no reason at night. My door cracks open and dad pocks his head inside.

"Can I come in?"

"Whatever you feel like." I tell him getting up to get some pills and drinks, but as I'm about to throw them into my mouth; dad holds my hand and I stop to look at him.

"Not anymore, please." He says taking them from my hand.

"Until when will you continue like this?" he asks.

"Until I die." I tell him going to my bed.

"That's insanity."

"Or is it, after all everybody hates me, about a month ago I had everything, I thought I could be anything; do you know why? Because she was the only person who really cared." I tell him and he comes to seat next to me.

"I understand how you feel, but please just think of me and your mother. She'll die if anything happens to you. She has even forgotten how to smile, every night she sheds tears for you. we both really care about you." he says.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm telling you the truth son, if not me, then please…your mother…. she's always worried and I am too." He says and looking at him; I can see the sincerity in his voice and on his face. I take a deep breathe.

"Fine." I say.

"Please do something so that she smiles today. Just a little bit." He adds.

"I'll reconsider." I tell him.

After reconsidering, I decide to go to Zoey's party. Everyone looks stunned and surprised to see me there. I spot Zoey in a long black dress.

"Welcome, Milan." She says as she hugs me. I hand her the big red bouquet and a pink giftbag.

"Happy birthday." I tell her.

"Thank you."

I walk away to get myself a drink and seat somewhere to watch the games. Sasha in her red spaghetti silky dress; holding a glass of wine approaches me.

"So, finally you made it to Zoey's party." She says.

"Never knew you were so desperate to talk to me." I say looking at the glass in my hand.

"Come on Milan, we can put our differences aside." She says rubbing my back.

"I lost interest in you long time ago." I tell her as I remove her hand from my back and she looks at me wide eyed. I see Troy walking over to us with Brandon and Nicky.

"Trying your luck on her over again huh. Better don't ruin the party like last time." Troy says chuckling.

"I'd rather die than take Sasha back." I say.

"What?!" Sasha yells; her nostrils flair up and her cheeks go red with anger. The crowd start booing at her. she's always been mean and too proud of herself getting guys to fight over her. I ain't the type. Plus, I'm grown.

"Good, coz I'm also done with her; she couldn't stop lamenting about you." he says and the boys hold their mouths to laugh at Sasha.

"That's the biggest bullshit I'd ever do; plus, you always take my leftovers, take her coz that's what you're used to anyways." I say living the glass on the table and going to my jeep. People start laughing at Troy.

The reason I never attended parties is that during freshman year when my bipolar shot up at the first party and I trashed out the entire party and people thought I was only seeking attention, but the fact is the problem is in my head. My phone beeps and lights up; my ribs hit up upon looking at my screen; a text from Real. I try look twice to see if I'm not seeing things. I open the text and it reads.

Real

Meet me at Sebastian's café

I want to just ignore her, but meeting her is the only way to get answers to all my questions. I slam the door of my car and drive off to Sebastian's. I pull over and park outside the café, lock the car and walk through the glass door and spot Real on the second table waiting in a cream white bareback dress. She looks better than before, her hair straightened and tied into a long pony and a partial side sweep with some few curly hair on the sides; she just looks different; not in a bad way though, she has make-up on.

As soon as she spots me; she keeps her focus on me. meanwhile I'm in my black jeans, a black polo neck and a long black jumper with black boots. My hair is unplaited and I just let to flow through my shoulders, it's kind of curly and I have a new shade on the sides and a cedar.

"Hi." Real says with a smile.

I just stare at her and take a seat. I can't believe she just left and is now acting like everything's okay.

"Attitude huh. What will you have, my treat." She says.

"The usual I tell her."

"Two chocolate milkshakes please; less cocoa, more cream." Real says to the waitress and in no time the waitress brings the drinks, Real gets hers and takes a sip; I just keep staring at her. what did she do with Real, this definitely isn't her.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"Right, you must be wondering why I just left." She begins.

"Exactly, care to explain?"

This is the moment I have been waiting for for an entire month.

"The thing is I had to go home in London." Real says and I take a sip of my drink.

"Go on."

"I just hope I didn't disturb you." she says; so off the topic.

"No, the party was even boring."

Real sighs.

"The thing is Taylor wanted me to be a witness of my dad's evil deeds in court." She says.

"What evil deeds?"

"My dad's a murderer and he wanted to kill Taylor's mom."

Holy shit, what type of family does Real come from.

"So, Taylor called me that night to fight for justice because I've watched my dad do a lot of terrible stuff." She says almost tearing out and I take her hand.

"To you?" I curiously ask. Real shakes her head.

"My mom and other people he don't like."

"What'd he do?"

"I'll tell you when the time's right." Real says and I just lose it.

"When will the time ever be right, every time you tell me you're waiting for the right time. This is not fair and I don't really fuckin' know what goes on in your life. Your stories are always in riddles which I can't solve. I feel like you hide a lot from me, I just know you as Real, that's it. I don't even know what your last name is!" I yell.

"H-Heatherway, I'm Real Heatherway. Excuse me."

Real leaves the bill on the table and runs out crying with her hand to her mouth.