Chapter Two

"Melissa, wake up!"The softness of her sleep broke as she heard her name repeated loudly. "Melissa, you need to get up."A last breath of sleep left her as she drifted back into consciousness. Piece by piece her mind crawled out from the safety of slumber, and piece by piece she became aware of where she was. The warmth of the teddy that she held in her tight embrace spread throughout her. She pressed her face into the teddy and inhaled as much of its scent as she could. It still smelled like Isabel and that sweet perfume her Aunt had bought her last year. It was her favourite perfume which she wore without fail every day. Normally her whole room would smell of it, but over the last 2 months, the smell had faded. However, holding the bear against her face like this filled her with the fragrance once more."Melissa!" She heard again. The voice slowly came into focus and this time she paired the voice with that of David's.She hadn't wanted to open her eyes, she wished she could stay in that state; halfway between sleep and reality. A state where she could believe that Isabel might still be here, that she might come bouncing into the bedroom at any moment. But the sound of David's voice had stolen her from that state.She slowly opened her eyes and saw David standing at the bedroom door, his eyebrows furrowed into a scowl."You said we should leave this room alone for now. Until we're both ready to sort through her things." His voice boomed at her in an accusation, although she was unsure what exactly she had done."I must have fallen asleep that's all." She said trying not to sound too defensive, "I was just sitting in her for a while ...""Why did you go through her things?" David interrupted impatiently.Melissa looked around the room. She hadn't touched much, just the jewellery box was open, a few of the jewels scattered on the table and the teddy that she held which she had taken off the shelf."I wasn't going through her things." She responded this time unable to mask any defensiveness she had felt. " I couldn't sleep. I just wanted something of hers to help me relax."He stared at her from the doorway for a few seconds longer and then turned and walked away. She opened her mouth to call him back, but whatever voice she intended to use never left her throat. So she closed her eyes and squeezed her face against the teddy hoping the smell would help to dampen the anger that was building up inside her. David had taken the loss of Isabel very badly as he had also lost his parents in a car crash when he was a child and Melissa and Isabel had been his only family. Because of this Melissa was trying so hard to be patient with him and to overlook his behaviour, but she had also lost her daughter and it was getting too hard to carry that weight and trying to walk on eggshells around her husband too. She was as hurt and broken as he was and she needed his comfort but instead, she felt like she was constantly apologising and making excuses for him.Slowly she sat up on the bed and looked around. From the window hung Isabel's favourite curtains. They had been bought less than a year ago, at her request, they were pink with horses running along the border. They hadn't been opened since the day before the accident. They had left in such a rush that morning that they had been left closed. Melissa considered opening them, this bedroom always caught the sun so nicely at this time in the morning. She rose from the bed and straightened out the sheets. Then after returning the teddy to its place on the shelf, she walked over to the window. Smiling to herself she ran her fingers across the embroidered horses.Horses were Isabel's favourite animal, which she promised herself to own one day. Around her 7th birthday, when a horse riding trip that she had looked forward to fell through, she had made a prayer before bed that night that she would own at least one horse by the time she was an adult.Melissa's chest suddenly felt tight as the word 'adult' echoed in her head. Isabel had promised herself a horse by the time she was an adult, but she'll never be an adult, she thought. She placed her hand on her chest and struggled for air. Closing her eyes she felt her legs slowly collapsing beneath her. Maybe David was right, maybe they weren't ready for this yet. She slumped forward, placing her head between her knees and breathed deeply.'It's ok,' She whispered to herself, 'Everything will be ok.'Flattening her palms out she pressed her forehead against the floor all the while reminding herself of the breathing techniques she had been taught by her therapist. She inhaled deeply through her nose and exhaled deeply through her mouth.'Everything happens for a reason, Melissa.' She told herself, 'You need to get through this to see the bigger picture.'She forced her eyes open, pushed herself up off the floor and supporting herself against the wall, walked towards the door. Before closing the door she glanced one last time into the room. Not sure if it was due to the tears which had filled her eyes, or the dizziness she felt in her head, she watched as the room seemed to dance back and forth before her.David was right, she decided. 'Coming here last night was a mistake. ' She said to herself.Melissa walked back to her bedroom and flopped onto the bed, pushing her head into her pillow. She tried to focus on the day ahead and any tasks she had to fulfil. It was Monday, which would mean checking in with her therapist. She had originally agreed to see the therapist in the hope that David would attend the appointments, but he was totally against the idea."I'm not crazy Melissa." He had scowled at her when she suggested it to him."Of course, you're not. Neither of us is. It's just to help us deal with what happened.." She tried to reassure him."I've dealt with it." He snapped. "It happened, we can't change it, that's life. I don't need a therapist to figure that out."Although it was obvious that they were suffering from post-traumatic stress, him even more than her she might propose, David was adamant everything was fine. He had always prided himself on being level-headed and able to keep in control of any situation, so, any suggestion that he might need help coping, infuriated him.Melissa didn't bother arguing, but she still attended the appointments hoping that the therapist would enlighten her with a way to get through everything.She lifted her head to check the time on the clock and just as she did the door flew open."What are you doing? I thought you just got up." David called from the doorway glaring at her."I am up." She responded. "I was just thinking."He slowly looked around the room and then back at Melissa. "I was thinking of visiting your sister, maybe we could take the kids out for a meal or something."Melissa stared at him. They had barely spoken to each other since the night after the crash and now he was offering to take her out for a meal. "I doubt she would let them go out on a school night." She said but in reality, she doubted her sister would let them take her children out ever again. After all the last time they went out together Micheal had almost died and Sarah still wakes up crying at night."So Friday maybe?" He asked."We could ask." She replied, "I'll pass by her house tomorrow and see what she says." Melissa already knew the answer and she felt slightly deceptive leading him on like this, but this was the first time they had had such a positive interaction in a long time that she didn't want to lose it. "Where would we take them?""I don't know. We could let them choose." David sat down on the end of the bed resting his arms on his knees and played with his hands. "So, how are you feeling?" He asked softly."Fine." She replied, still staring at him. "How about you?""Good." He said quickly. Slowly he looked up at Melissa and smiled. Melissa swallowed deeply, something wasn't right! She scanned his face trying to understand why she was feeling so uncomfortable. David was smiling, it had been so long since she had seen him smile she should be happy, but there was something about this smile. The smile lay on his lips but that was all. The rest of his face was blank and his eyes still held the bitterness he had these last few weeks. Melissa smiled back at him to guard the insecurity she was suddenly feeling. She settled her eyes on the scar on his left cheek and resisted the urge to reach over and stroke it. Normally, this would have been a natural response to seeing a scar on him, but now she knew that he, at least, would find the gesture alien. She thought back to the last time either had touched or held each other with any form of love or tenderness, but although she knew the memories were merely 2 months old somehow they felt much more distant. Since the accident, David had met every loving advance with harshness or hostility."So, what are you doing today?" David asked still smiling."Er, I was..." She had intended to visit the therapist but maybe now wasn't a good time to mention that either "I was thinking of going into town. I need to get some new shoes." It was true she did need new shoes, she just hadn't thought of buying any until just now."Oh, so you're off gallivanting today then?" He always called her shopping trips gallivanting although she never understood why."I won't be gallivanting. I know what shop I need to go to and I even know what pair of shoes I might get. You could always come with me if you think I might get distracted." She offered not quite sure what his response would be."Really? You want me to come?" He asked seeming to move closer at the same time.Melissa reached up to place her hand on his scarred cheek "Of course I do." she said.He lifted his hand to hers and held it tightly, "Ok, that will be nice." He said smiling. This time his smile seemed genuine, she could see a glint of happiness deep in his eyes which she hadn't seen for a long time.Melissa felt her heart relaxing, she hadn't felt relaxed around David at all lately. Maybe today would be the start of a new beginning for them. "We can stop off somewhere for some lunch." Melissa began, " Then we can go to the shoe shop where we bought those red loafers for Isabel ..." As soon as the words came out of her mouth she regretted it. A flash of pain ran over David's face and his warm smile left leaving behind a cold stern face, he pulled her hand away from his face and looked at her, his eyes narrowing into two icy slits."Actually, I have other things to do." He said coldly, then he got up from the bed and walked out of the room slamming the door behind him.Melissa dropped her head into her hands, 'What just happened?' she thought as she felt the anger building up inside her, 'Why is he being so difficult? Am I never supposed to mention Isabel again?'. She sat up and rubbed her hands through her hair, trying to think back over the last two months, specifically her first memories after the accident.The first few days after the accident are a mystery. Apart from a few vague images and sounds, all of what Melissa knows is from what people have told her. Apart from a few bumps and bruises Melissa and Sarah were the least hurt out of the family. Micheal, who had been sitting by the window, had suffered from a fractured skull as well as some lacerations on his face and arm. David was fairly beaten up as well, where he received a long slice down his cheek. He also had a large scar on his arm which he kept covered most of the time.They were taken to the hospital along with the other crash victims and placed in various wards. Melissa remembers asking Doctors and Nurses about Isabel and David and simply being told that everything was ok and she should rest. Jennifer, her sister, says she arrived at the hospital on the second day as it must have taken a while for the doctors to notify all the victims' families. She can't remember if it was the fourth or fifth day when Jennifer told her that Isabel hadn't survived the crash.Even as she thought about it it still seemed unreal. She had been preparing to discharge herself from the hospital as she wasn't suffering from any real problems apart from headaches and she wanted to see David and Isabel again. She remembered Jennifer trying to convince her to wait, she kept saying she should talk things through with the doctors first. Something about her behaviour had made Melissa suspicious. She knew she hadn't been able to visit Isabel because the children's ward was on another ground and the doctors didn't want her to travel yet due to her concussions, but she hadn't understood why she wasn't allowed to visit David. Suddenly she thought the worst, "David's dead!" she screamed."No, David's fine Melissa." Jennifer tried to reassure her."No...no...I knew something was wrong." She cried. At that moment Melissa's heart had sunk, David had been her best and sometimes only friend for so long. They had been in each other's pockets since school, he was all she knew, how could she possibly go on without him? The pain and emptiness filled her simultaneously, and she curled up into a ball at the bottom of the bed."David's not dead Melissa." Jennifer said quietly and stroked her hair, "He's going to be fine, I promise."Melissa sobbed and struggled for air then peered over her hands which were held up against her face. "Then what's happened?" She whispered breathing deeply.Jennifer stared at her for a short trying to compose herself. She opened her mouth to explain and as she did her eyes filled with tears and her face contorted into painful anguish. "It's Isabel." was all she managed to whisper.Melissa sprang from the bed unable to contain herself. "No." She screamed, "No! You told me you had seen her and she was fine.""I had to," Jennifer answered softly, "The doctors told me not to mention anything to you."She stepped forward intending to hurl herself at Jennifer, but the emptiness that she felt before suddenly took over her and instead of landing on her foot she found herself falling. Although she knew Jennifer had caught her, she continued to feel as though she was falling until everything suddenly became black.