Morning Blues

Ananika was the first to wake up.

It was freezing while Kleuren was there, it was not enough.

The sky was a greenish shade. 

It was cold, but she hugged herself hard enough that it could be bearable. 

The world that they were in was fun. But she wanted to go back. If you ignore the fact that she was dead and there was probably no way to go back, she might be able to.

Which just meant she won't be.

She wondered if she would ever be able to see them. A photograph maybe. Even a little echo of their voice. 

But when you die, other people are dead for you. Death is an ending, and they were given a beginning. But when you have to begin somewhere without any clue as to how to start. It was a very dreadful beginning. Atleast, they had found some people. 

But it was almost too easy. Everything went on far better than it should have. Almost as though fattening up a pig just to end up slaughtering it.

Ananika bit her lips. Her lips cracked under the cold and pressure. She licked the blood off of her lips. It was a metallic bitter taste that lingered in her mouth.

She was a makeup artist. But she did not even have anything to make her lips moist. 

It was weird how all of it happened so fast. Kleuren and her had been fighting then reading, in love then inside the story. It all happened like water falling into the river. Continuous and without a stop.

And the weirdest thing was that Kleuren changed. 

He was scared. 

From the start there was terror in his eyes, very different from what he was normally.

His voice had no snark.

He didn't care about his family.

In the whole grandness of what was happening, it was her that was in the wrong to worry about it. But she thought he was like her.

Or maybe.

She never knew him.

That is a far stretch.

But looking back.

She told him everything.

Had she ever asked him anything?

She knew he liked being an artist. She knew nothing else. Except that she liked him. He was the closest to her, no matter how much they fought.

But did she know anything?

Ananika felt hot. It was sharp and blaring hot. Hitting on her like a knife slowly being dragged all over her body. 

She looked at Kleuren who was sleeping beside her. His face was scrunched and twisted. He was panicking. She softly drew circles around his cheeks. He calmed down.

She booped his nose.

He swatted her hand, inducing a giggle from her.

She still had him around. So she could still find out about him.

That was good enough for now.

She yawned.

Looking away. With the fire, that had burnt down the wood, in the centre. Opposite to them there were four people. Niko, with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Nequam had pink hair, flailing all around, with blue eyes that shone like sapphires. Honestly she looked pretty much like a shoujo female lead And Lae.

They all were in the forest to find a way to make contact with God. it was said in the story that somewhere along the way, they could contact one.

The final chapter was them finding God.

It took them two years.

Ananika had asked Era earlier and she said that they had been there for a little more than six months. 

In the Archean valley, where they were, there were lots and lots of magia. But since none of the protagonists had magic they were safe.

All of this was information from the novel.

But Ananika wondered if she should tell them how to get there. She scratched her neck. 

Probably not, since it would be suspicious. And forgetting about being a fangirl, these people were their only way to survive this stupid forest.

"You are up early." Kleuren was the one to speak. Looking at him, he looked at her from where he was lying. Then he got into a criss-cross position. Leaning his head down on her shoulder. Rubbing his eyes. 

"I felt cold." Ananika said.

"Wanted me to hug you tighter." Kleuren's voice was deep and husky from sleep

"No, I mean yes, but no." Ananika placed a little kiss on his head.

"Needed to sort something out." She said after a while.

"Is it about yesterday night?" Kleuren asked after some time.

"Uh-huh."

"Can we pretend that never happened?" He said, his voice begging.

"No." Her answer was quick.

"Please." 

"Ok." She gave in.

"Just, please don't hide yourself from me." This time it was her who was begging.

Kleuren looked up, right into her eyes. They both stared at each other. He smiled, melancholy filling his eyes.

"What do you mean?" His voice breaking.

"I have never shown you my real self." 

"Why?"

"Because who would love a loser nerd?"

At this Ananika was silent. 

She knew exactly what he was talking about. It was her own behaviour. She could not say anything anymore.

All those times she had shit-talked about people she considered as a loser. Someone weak. Someone pathetic. Kleuren heard it as she was dissing himself.

She had stopped doing that. But it remained with Kleuren.

"But you are no–"

"I am though." He cut her off. His voice softly rising. It cut Ananika like a razor.

"I am everything you hated." He sighed.

"No. Not anymore." She whispered.

"Only because I changed." Each word was painstakingly uttered.

"Ever since I was a kid, I tried to be what you liked." He took a deep breath.

"And that is on me. Not you if I am being really honest." He said as he looked at Ananika.

"But if I remained the same, would you even look at me?" His voice was shaking.

"I would. There could be no one who could replace you." Ananika said, confident. That was the only thing she felt confident in.

"What if you don't?" He asked. As though the answer changed anything.

"What if I do?" She said, her voice trying its best to be brave,

"Then I will try. Try to be whoever I am." He whispered after an ample amount of time.

"If I can find it."

Ananika smiled, a drop of tear dripping down her cheeks.

"It got unnecessarily emotional." He said, softly rubbing her tears.

"I am sorry for how I made you feel." She held his hand, softly pressing it.

"I promise to be better." She smiled at him.

"You already are." He said.

"I'm just clinging to the past." He also smiled.

"No. it is on me. Just because I burn the body it does not mean the person did not exist." 

"That was shitty."

"Shut up." She giggled.