Otherworldly Royals

Maria leads the group down a pit of stairs, into the dark depths of the castle's underground network. She brings them to an underground control room that buzzes with technology and light. Barns is amazed to see a place so advanced even exist in the world, given its current state. 

'Can monsters really maintain such powerful technology?' he wonders to himself. 'Or is this Maria's doing?'

Two skeletons await at the back of this basement lair, wearing regal finery and crowns. They sit across from each other, unmoving - but Barns can sense evil energy coming from them. They are skeleton monsters - though they are under command to remain motionless.

"This was the only thing I could do for them," Maria says quietly. "They were mortally wounded early on…so I had Osmond turn them into skeletons and let them rest here, while I ruled in their absence."

Osmond clears his throat. "These are the former king and queen of Dimartino, Barns."

Barns nods. "Foam these bad boys up, Clancy!"

Clancy sprays the skeletons with his cleansing foam, and Barns holds his sword patiently over them as the evil is purified.

"Resurrection!" Barns exclaims, releasing his divine powers. 

An old man and a middle-aged woman manifest before Barns. The man had sallow cheeks and eyes that were permanently half-closed, while the woman was of stunning beauty and physique for her age.

The two blink in surprise as they look around, wondering how they're alive and why they're covered in foam. "Maria!" the man says, darting from his chair and running to her, giving her a hug. "What in the hell is that outfit, my darling daughter?"

Maria smiles, pushing him back a bit so she doesn't also get covered in foam. In classic Maria fashion, she dodges the question. 

"King, Queen, I want you to meet Barns. He's the hero who's going to end the apocalypse."

The King's eyes light up as he sees Barns. "My! A hero? Ah, you look so familiar! Wife! Oh, Wife! Doesn't he look familiar? He looks a lot like you. Perhaps a little like me!"

Barns' eye twitches. "Maybe a little," he deflects. "Why, our boy would have looked just like you, Barns, if he'd been allowed to grow up. I'm sorry," he says. "A foolish thought. Our boy was lost to the sea during a terrible storm…"

"A boy, adrift at sea?" Barns repeats. "Hah. How long ago was that?"

The king doesn't know. His sense of time was distorted from being a monster. 

"About…twelve years," Maria says, avoiding eye contact.

Barns catches his breath in his throat. "I was adrift at sea twelve years ago. I had no idea my parents were still out there…I thought I was an orphan!"

The king's eyes close affirmingly. "So it is you. I could sense it - though you are much different from the boy I remember. Tell me - what do you remember of your childhood?"

"Nothing," Barns admits. "How should I put this…it was like I 'woke up' when I was four or five years old. I don't remember a thing before that. I was raised by Clancy here!"

The crab raises his claws in greeting. 

"Then I have something I must tell you. We are all from another world," the king confesses, motioning to everyone in the room except Osmond. "You as well."

"ME TOO?" Clancy says, bobbing up and down excitedly in a dance. 

"Uh…perhaps," the king says, putting on a strained smile. "At least…not from our world. Of that, I am fairly certain!"

The king begins to tell his story. "We crossed over quite unintentionally, actually! You see, our world is haunted by a phantom train! Randomly as people cross train tracks over the world, they will suddenly be run over! This phantom has also been known to take the form of a truck! And it was a truck that did us in."

The king raises his arms in the air. He seems so happy to be able to deliver his backstory. "We shared legends and stories in my world," the king says, a twinkle of nostalgia in his eyes. "We claimed that any who were hit by that train or truck would be sent to another world. And lo, when we next awoke, we were here, in Dimartino!"

Barns jaw is nearly to the floor. "A truck that…sends people to another world?" The words sound unbelievable to him. "And you're my biological parents? I'M from another world!?"

Barns lowers his shoulders. "It's incredible…but I have to be honest with you all. I am not truly your son. At least…not in the way you might think I am. I am the reincarnation of the hero Lain Rhodes. This body was already a toddler when I awoke."

"Yes, yes, I figured! When you were born there was always something a bit…off, about you," the king recalls. "A sort of vacant stare off into the distance, never looking at anything. Oh, but you never cried! What a delight that was, eh Wifey?" he nudges the queen. She smacks his hand away and crosses her arms. 

"So, you're my parents from another world, huh? Well, I guess I feel less bad about body-snatching the kid when I did. Maybe it was destiny."

Barns turns toward Maria. "So Maria, too…wait. Are there others?"

"Oh, yes indeed! See, there were actually four of us - me, and your mother of course, yes, but also Maria here, and another fellow named Lauren. We were all crossing the street at the same time when the truck appeared. Flattened us all!"

"Yes, yes, we kept Maria around as something of a daughter, see - why she was so young when we crossed over! And since you're our son, then I suppose that makes Maria something of a step-sister to you, doesn't it!?"

"Er, no," Barns says defensively, rubbing the back of his neck. He's mortified. 

He dares to take a look at Maria, who for the first time that conversation glares back. "But what if I get stuck in, say, a washing machine? I could say 'help me, stepbro'! And -"

"I think the Princess has had enough stimulation for the day, maybe she should go sit down," Barns snips. "Just to clarify, there's like, NO blood relation whatsoever between Maria and I, right?"

"Wait, Maria, why's he asking that?" Osmond questions, but Maria doesn't answer.

"Not that I know of!" the king professes. "Though I have always wondered why a small child like her was crossing the street all alone that day! She says she doesn't remember!"

Maria's fingers twitch at her sides. "I don't remember," she says flatly. 

The king bows his head. "What all this means, my boy, is that you are the rightful crown prince and heir to the throne of Dimartino!"

Barns smiles. As if he needed a birthright claim to run this place - he and Clancy just took the whole kingdom over in three weeks. Still, he had no desire to be king. But he knew someone who did.

"If that's true, then I would like to transfer the rites of royalty to my closest ally. Ladies and gentleman, meet the new king of Dimartino: Clancy!"

Clancy wastes not a second, raising his claws high above and proclaiming himself king.

"LONG LIFE KING CLANCY!"