[Bonus Chapter] Coronation

Two days come and go, and before long the new Kingdom of Dimartino is ready to crown their new king.

Barns sits with one leg up on the ledge of a stone archway within Castle Dimartino. His mind is filled with simple, happy thoughts - today was a special day, after all. He couldn't wait to see Clancy in all his kingly glory. 

Barns had also made arrangements for a special item to mark the occasion, and as the frumpy artisan runs toward him from the other end of the hall, Barns knows the project was completed on time.

"Master Barnacles!" The out-of-breath artisan shouts. Barns smiles at the young girl, her eyes wide with wonder as she clings to a piece of golden fabric. 

"Well, let's see it!" Barns pumps his fist excitedly. The girl unfurls the fabric, stretching it out as far as she can. 

Barns takes a step back to admire her handiwork. It is a flag made of beautiful golden fabric, with a white circle in the center. Overlapping the circle in brilliant scarlet is the symbol of a crab, claws raised above his head in victory.

"You're a regular old Bessie Ross," Barns says with a grin, taking the flag from her. "This is so perfect, thank you!"

Barns scurries off, eager to join the proceedings that were just about underway.

At the top of Castle Dimartino is a wide balcony that overlooks the gardens. This is where the coronation takes place - in front of the entire population of Dimartino, who has now gathered at the castle expectantly. 

The former king speaks first to open up the event. 

"I should go next," Maria snaps, trying to push Barns out of the way.

"No way! I'm the legendary hero!" he fights back, pushing her. 

"And now, citizens of Dimartino, a few words from my lovely wife!" the former king announces into the microphone. He turns to his wife, who flips him off and turns away.

"Eh…actually, seems she's not feeling well this morning. Long live the former queen! Augh…"

Maria butts in front of the former king. "Thanks, dad!" she says with a fabricated smile. "Hello citizens of Dimartino! I trust you all remember me, your beautiful princess!"

The crowd starts booing. 

"Weren't you the villain?" one lady shrieks over the crowd.

"Aaand I am delighted to introduce to you all the legendary hero, Barnacles!" Maria says quickly, running away from the microphone.

"So much for your time in the spotlight," Barns chuckles to her as they pass each other. When Barns steps up to the microphone, the entire crowd erupts into a fiery cheer. 

It takes a full minute before the cheering has died down enough for Barns to get a word in.

"Thank you," Barns begins, the warmth and energy from the crowd permeating through him. He can't help but wear an everlasting smile as he talks.

"When I was a young boy, my father once took me to the city…"

"You have one minute, Barns, make it snappy," Maria heckles.

"Alright. I'll save that story for another time. If you'd like to hear it, come find me!" he says to the crowd. Someone coughs.

"Listen. Here's what I really want to say. Two months ago, I didn't even know who I was. But then I realized my destiny. King Clancy and I each possess half of a special power that can reset the apocalypse. It is thanks to that power that I, and all of us here today, are able to stand here, alive and stronger than ever. But that power isn't mine - nor Clancy's. This is the power of Dimartino - of all of us! And we are going to rebuild our entire world!"

Barns raises his fist in the air and the crowd cheers. "Now I want you all to meet someone very special to me! He's been my best buddy for the last twelve years, and he's the one we all owe our lives to! Give it up for King Clancy!"

Barns steps aside, and his bumbling crab begins to march toward the microphone. Maria buries her face, while the former king and queen look on with morbid curiosity.

Clancy stands in front of the microphone. He's wearing a small crown on top of his shell, and two of the king's old robes have been stitched together to make a cape that drapes over Clancy's back.

"HUMAN CITIZENS!" Clancy shouts, raising his claws into the air. "PONTIFICATION COMMENCES!"

Clancy begins to rattle out the most eloquent speech ever delivered by crabkind - hideously incomprehensible for human standards, however. Barns notes a few key notes of Clancy's agenda as ruler.

PROSTITUTES LEGAL. Clancy lead with that one, so Barns knows that's top of the agenda. Seems like the Kingdom of Dimartino is fine with that.

NO EATING CRAB. Fair. He turns directly at Maria when he says it, too.

NO CRIME. Clancy is an idealistic ruler.

FREE ALCOHOL. How's he going to pull that off?

SOLIDARITY. After saying that, Clancy does what can only be construed as a salute by crossing his right claw over his chest and holding his claws open. The audience follows suit. 

"PONTIFICATION CONCLUDED." Clancy says abruptly and walks away from the microphone. Barns sneaks back up, not wanting to leave the crowd hanging. 

"We'll be having an open bar in the castle foyer," Barns says, reading through his list of talking points. 

"The first shuttle back to town is in twenty minutes, so if you've got places to be, get ready!" he calls it a shuttle but it's really just a walking group. 

Barns remembers the one single most important thing he wanted to mention today. 

"Oh and…good citizens of Dimartino…I would like to present to you, your new flag!"

Barns raises the embroidered flag up high, showing off the crabby design to the people of Dimartino. It gets a few claps and cheers, but by now the audience is thoroughly disillusioned with Clancy's coronation speech. 

"I think Maria is doing a Q&A too!" he says snarkily into the microphone before sauntering away. "If anyone has any questions about ANYTHING at all, come find Maria!"

"Barns, what the hell?" she hisses.

"Payback for you beating my best friend up," he replies, sticking his tongue out at her.

And thus concludes Clancy's coronation - long may the new king of Dimartino reign.