"Sorry," he muttered, his voice low and gravelly from sleep. "Didn't mean to doze off." He pushed himself up into a sitting position, running a hand through his dark hair before glancing down at her.
Nova peeked up at him, her face a mix of embarrassment and wariness.
Kael stood, brushing dirt off his pants as he moved toward the cave entrance. "I'm heading out for a bit," he said casually, his tone almost teasing. "Try to behave while I'm gone. No wandering off. And definitely no petting kitties this time."
Nova's cheeks flushed deeper at the reminder. She didn't want to be left alone, but she also didn't want to appear needy. "How long will you be gone?" she asked quietly, her voice barely audible.
"Not too long," Kael replied, his tone softening. He glanced back at her, his amber eyes steady. "While I'm gone, I want you to practice something. Sit still, close your eyes, and try to find yourself in the quiet. Focus on your emotions—on the wolf inside you. You need to feel it, understand it."
Nova nodded hesitantly, though the idea of sitting with her own chaotic thoughts unnerved her. Kael's gaze lingered on her for a moment longer before he turned and disappeared into the forest, leaving her alone with her own uncertainty.
Nova sighed heavily, staring at the empty cave entrance. The idea of meditating sounded straightforward enough, but as she sat cross-legged on the cool stone floor, she found her thoughts immediately racing. The stillness she was supposed to embrace felt suffocating.
She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing, but her mind refused to cooperate. Instead, it dragged her back to the moment her parents had screamed—the sound searing through her memory like a blade. Her eyes flew open, and she gasped.
Why was this so hard? She pressed her palms against her knees, trying to calm the tremor in her hands. The guilt was overwhelming, a weight pressing down on her chest. They had taken her in, raised her, loved her as their own. And she had killed them. She had felt their blood on her fur, the horror etched into their eyes.
Tears welled up as she imagined what might be happening back in her town. Would her parents' deaths make the news? Would there be search parties combing the woods for her? Would she be branded a missing child—or worse, a suspect? The thought churned her stomach. Her name could already be plastered on flyers, her face on the news, framed with speculation and pity.
But those were likely the least of her problems now. The more she thought about it, the hotter her body felt, as if anger and shame were simmering under her skin. Without Kael's steady presence, the calm that had anchored her was gone, and she was left bare and alone against the relentless tide of her own nightmares.
She shut her eyes again, determined to try once more. Kael's words echoed faintly in her mind: "Find yourself in the quiet. Feel the wolf inside you." But all she felt was chaos. Her breathing quickened as fear and doubt clawed at her, threatening to consume her.
This isn't working. Her frustration built until it bubbled over. She slammed a fist into the stone floor, the sharp pain grounding her momentarily. Taking a shuddering breath, she glanced toward the cave entrance, wishing he were still there. Despite her reluctance to admit it, Kael's presence had soothed her in a way she couldn't quite explain. Without him, the silence felt oppressive.
She leaned back against the cool cave wall, letting her head fall back. The tears spilled over, silent but steady. The wolf inside her didn't feel like some noble part of her waiting to be embraced—it felt like a monster lurking, ready to destroy everything she loved.