Chapter Thirty-Eight

When I opened my eyes, the first thing that I saw was a phone in front of my face. Then I saw Claire with wide eyes holding the phone. I was in my bedroom lying on my bed. Claire was standing at the side of the bed with her phone.

Damn!

"What are you doing here?" I asked Claire.

She didn't answer. She remained silent as she kept a sheepish smile. Then, she sat on my bed and turned her phone's screen at me.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

"WHAT THE- Delete that!!!" I screamed at her as I rose from the bed.

"No way! You look great in this." She said as she pulled the phone away from me to look at it.

"Great??? You'll just use that to blackmail me!"

"Oh! That's a great idea."

"Give me that!!!"

I reached for her phone. Claire stopped me by placing an arm between us. While the other hand is holding the phone away from me. I tried to push my way to get the phone. If that photo gets out, it will ruin me. Plus, I don't want Claire to have my worst photo ever saved in her phone's gallery.

I jumped at her so I could reach her phone. However, I lost my balance. I fell on my carpet floor dragging Claire with me. We fell with a thud. It hurts. But that wasn't what made me worry.

Claire was on top of me. Her body pressed on mine. My lips touched her cheek. She rose a bit only to stare at me in surprise. This is bad... a very bad position. It doesn't help that the dream earlier felt so real.

But then I heard a ding. Claire looked at her phone that was still in her hand. Then, she smiled a triumphant one.

"It's a notification saying that the photo has now been backed up to cloud storage. You're too late." She said as she grinned happily.

She rose to get off on me. I sat up silently hoping I didn't have any broken bones.

"Damn you! Don't you dare share that with anyone!" I said in the most threatening way I can.

"Of course, I won't... as long as you don't piss me off."

I let out a sigh of both frustration and relief. At least, she said she won't.

"Anyway... we were supposed to watch a movie at my place. You said you'll only take a quick nap after cleaning your apartment. That wasn't quick." Claire said as she pouted.

Once again, my irritation evaporated.

"Fine. I'll just take a quick shower. You can wait for me and pick any snacks you like in the kitchen."

"Okay. Make sure it is a "quick" shower." She said as she stood up and left the room.

Grabbing my towel and changed of clothes, I went out to go to the bathroom. As I was showering, I began to ponder what happened. There's no point in denying it.

What I feel for Claire isn't a mere attraction anymore. Is it considered "love"? I honestly don't know yet. But I know it is a romantic attraction.

Oh God! Why? Of all people, why am I feeling like this for her? Is it because I am not seeing other girls? I look at girls all the time but no one caught my attention. Well... apart from Claire that is. 

Come to think of it. Every time I look at another girl, I always end up comparing her to Claire. And I always conclude Claire is the better one.

Oh, come on! I can't be catching feelings for a girl who likes girls too. And even if it is all behind us now, I can't eliminate the fact that she stole my ex-girlfriend. This is so wrong... yet it doesn't feel like it.

These feelings of mine only have one future, a dead end. I knew that well. Eventually, she'll find another girl to play with. But what if she took the next one seriously? Just thinking about it hurts me.

I should stop feeling like this but... I can't. What should I do?

"Hey! Hurry up. You'd been in there for ten minutes now." Claire called from outside the bathroom.

Thinking of the devil and devil shall call.

"I'm done! Just dressing up."

Later that night, Claire and I are at her mini-theater at home. We decided to watch the Divergent Trilogy. I had heard about the movies but had never seen them before. Claire, on the other hand, had finished reading the books the other day. We are already in the first part of the Insurgent movie. So far, it's good.

However, I kept noticing something. Every time this character "Four" or "Tobias" came onto the screen, I would catch Claire grinning. At first, I thought she found the scene amusing. But since the scene playing right now isn't something to smile about, I found her grin weird. So, I decided to call it out.

"Why are you grinning?"

Claire turned to me with a grin still in place.

"Grinning?" she said as if she didn't feel herself smiling.

"Yeah! You're smiling like that even though it's a serious scene." I said as I pointed to the screen.

"Oh? I was admiring how hot Theo James is." She said as she turned her face back to the screen.

My jaw dropped. Did she just call a guy hot? I didn't know how long I was frozen. But Claire turned to me and saw my reaction.

"Why do you look so surprised?" she asked.

"I-I was expecting that you would go crushing on Tris. Or whoever was playing her in the movie. But Theo James?"

"Well, I like Shailene Woodley too. But Theo James is just so fine..." Claire said it in a way a typical fangirl would. "I mean I'd go straight for him."

Did she just say that?

"I never expected you'd go straight for someone. I thought you were a full-fledged lesbian."

"I am! But that does not mean I can't make exceptions."

This is some revelation. So, she can make exceptions? Can I be an exception too? But how can I be an exception? Are there qualifications for this? I looked closely at Theo James and began comparing myself to him. Needless to say, I lost to him.

But she did say "exceptions". This means that there could be more guys thus more qualifications.

"Do you have other male crushes?"

Claire didn't even take a second to think.

"There's another one. He's Korean. His name is Ji Chang Wook. Oh! We can watch his movies and K-dramas some other time. Maybe when the classes are over."

"Okay." I tried to remember the name so I could google him later.

I can't believe Claire had male crushes. No wonder Diane is hopeful that her cousin can waver back. I had a hunch it was Diane who introduced Korean men into Claire's life. That K-drama addict had influenced Ryan too.

Maybe I should do something to help Diane? If Claire wavers back, there might be a chance for me and my feelings. But the question is, how? Should I look it up online? Yeah. That's not a bad idea.

Then, I can also be a bit sweeter with her. I should subtly court her too. I must do whatever I can to make her fall in love with me. Yeah. That's the path I'm going to take.

When I thought of that initial plan, I thought I had the time in the world. But like what they say, you should never take time for granted.

Two months before graduation, I found myself having dinner with Claire, Ryan, and Diane. We are at Claire's house feasting on meals made with her freshly harvested mushroom. We are having a good time. But then when we began to talk about after-graduation plans, the mood shifted.

It turned out Claire would be leaving for the US the day after graduation. She said it was requested by the overseas management. They need her there as soon as possible.

She explained that since her parents' passing, their business overseas had been neglected. She compared the current management to a pilot preventing a malfunctioning plane from crashing. They had been asking for her to go there ever since. But Diane's father requested to let Claire graduate college first. But now that she's graduating, there's no reason for her to delay.

"But you will come back often and eventually stay here, right?" Diane asked the same question I had in my head.

Claire didn't answer immediately. But I can tell on her face that she didn't have an affirmative answer.