Chapter Twenty Three : Hopeless

"Whoaaaa... Beautiful." She exclaimed. Indah immediately ran like a child when she met her toy. Adrian who walked following her leisurely steps, just grinned. His wife was like a kindergarten child, very inappropriate for her age which was already 25 years old. They arrived at the beach after traveling for 2 hours because of traffic jams. When he woke up, Adrian found himself asleep on his wife's shoulder, who happened to be asleep too. The woman seemed to be willing to accommodate his big head on her shoulder. She fell asleep while holding Adrian's hand tightly.

"Ian,... what are you doing standing there? Come here!" she invited, which then broke Adrian's reverie.

"Hey, don't keep running, you'll fall!" She added. Adrian immediately quickened his steps towards his wife, who was crouching down looking at the expanse of orange sea which was hit by the sunlight that was starting to set. Not far from there, there was an iron fence standing firmly in one corner of the beach. There were many collections of padlocks circling there like the padlocks installed around Namsan Tower. Adrian looked around him, which was full of padlocks that he thought were strange. Once again, he grinned. But not because of his wife's behavior, but rather because of the collection of padlocks that had strange sentences written on them.

"You have nothing better to do.." He grumbled, looking at the padlock that Indah was now holding.

The woman immediately lifted her face and looked at her husband in annoyance. "You're the only one here who doesn't understand."

"Yes, I don't understand because I have a lot of work." She replied, no less annoyed than Indah.

"It's up to you if you don't believe me. I'll try." Indah put her hands on her hips. She unpacked her bag and took out a red polka dot package.

"What's that?" Adrian asked curiously. He still wanted to know if Indah intended to share the pair of rings with him.

"Padlocks."

"For what?" he asked again.

"Us." Indah answered gracefully.

"We?" Adrian narrowed his eyes as Indah began to attach the padlock. Before locking it and combining it with another padlock.

"I have no idea what that means at all. What I heard is that if a couple attaches their padlock here and throws the key on the beach, then their relationship will be eternal and inseparable." Indah explained at length before Adrian asked various questions.

Adrian scratched his head which was not itchy. "I don't understand."

Indah looked at him hopefully. "We will throw this key on the beach." She said while showing the key to Adrian.

They then went to the edge of the beach. Adrian saw the evening view there.

"Amazing."

"Right. Indah." Then Indah threw the key as far as possible.

"Why did you only attach one padlock. Meanwhile, I saw all the padlocks there in pairs." Adrian looked at the woman in surprise.

"Eh... I don't think it's necessary. If you or I want to add it, we'll add it later—when we know each other's feelings..." Indah lowered her head and sat on the 'V' shaped bench provided on the edge of the beach. Then followed by Adrian who sat beside her. Indah looked at her fingernails, she pondered, pondered her own feelings. Honestly, she was still very confused about her feelings.

"I want to know anything about you." Adrian said breaking the silence between the two of them without taking his eyes off the calm water on the edge of the beach. Indah turned her head to the side. The sunlight hitting Adrian's face made the man look very handsome in Indah's eyes.

"About me?"

Adrian turned his head to the side. He smiled his smile which made Indah even more embarrassed. "Yes, all about you."

Indah smiled sadly. In her life there was nothing interesting to tell. Her childhood which was full of deprivation and also alienation. For her it was a nightmare that would always follow her forever.

"For me it's just a nightmare."

Adrian furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Indah crossed her legs and intertwined her fingers on her knees. "I'm just a poor girl trying her luck in Jakarta. I've lived in an orphanage since I was little. And when I was 17, my best friend Selly and I moved to Jakarta. With my high school diploma, I finally applied to be a kindergarten teacher."

Adrian was silent listening to his wife's story. He was still guessing the saddest part of the fierce woman sitting beside him. The two black diamonds that usually looked challenging now turned sad. And that made Adrian feel even more guilty for making his request earlier.

Indah paused her story with a long sigh. "I hate parties, rich people and also..." Indah turned to her husband, she smiled, but Adrian didn't like her bitter smile. ".. my life."

Indah's view of the sun that was about to set began to blur. Tears that came from who knows where had gathered in the corners of her eyes. "My mother left me in an orphanage when I was 3 years old. I remember she looked down on me the last time we met. She hated me so much because I... was a child of rape."

DEG

The man's hazel eyes widened perfectly upon hearing that confession. A child of... rape? Oh my.. Adrian couldn't even imagine what it would be like if he were in Indah's position. Maybe he was embarrassed. Just thinking about it made his throat suddenly dry, let alone experiencing it like Indah.

Realizing Adrian's shock, Indah was no longer strange. Some of her friends used to mock her and avoid her like a virus. Only Selly still wanted to be friends with her.

"I know you must be surprised. That's why when I was in a relationship with Rama, I never told him. I was afraid... he would be disgusted by me."

Indah had resigned herself to the fact that Adrian would leave her after this or even divorce her. She was used to it. For her, feeling like someone left behind was something she had often felt. She wouldn't be surprised anymore.

"Sorry.." The word spontaneously came out of Adrian's mouth. The man continued to look at the beach without looking away at all.

"For what?" Indah asked in surprise. At first she thought Adrian would leave her side. But what she saw was different from what she was thinking at the moment. The man instead held her hand tightly.

"Because I said you were my cousin." He answered. A curve was visible at the corner of his lips. He smiled and looked at his wife. Their gazes were very close. They sat very close because the bench they were sitting on was in a 'V' shape.

Indah smiled sadly, "I apologize too."

"For what?" Adrian asked in confusion.

"Because you married me." Indah tried her best to hold back her tears. "It's already evening." Indah stretched out her hand. "Come on, let's go home."

Adrian stared blankly at the outstretched hand. He saw sadness in his wife's eyes. He had hurt this woman many times, but Indah was still kind to him. Adrian took her hand and stood up. They walked hand in hand.

Indah felt pain in her chest. It hurt and ached every time she realized that she was currently holding the hand of a man she was starting to love. However, the reality was that what she expected was not the way it was, sooner or later Adrian would find someone he loved and divorce her. Selly had said it right before, there was a very thin line between hate and love.

Unlike Indah, Adrian felt butterflies in his stomach spreading their wings. His chest seemed to vibrate. He was currently holding the hand of a woman he might be starting to love. However, the woman was completely hiding her feelings behind her smiling mask.

Upon arriving at the hotel, Adrian and Indah saw a woman standing in the middle of the hotel lobby. Indah, who was the first to realize it, felt familiar with the figure. She had seen it before. The woman was wearing a yellow shirt covered by a black cardigan, jeans and black high heels. The woman looked beautiful with her hair tied in a ponytail. She was hanging a DSLR camera around her neck.

"Anna..." Adrian was surprised. Her voice sounded more like a whisper.

Indah turned to her husband who now had a blank face. It wasn't that she didn't hear what had just come out of her husband's lips. Even though it was only a small whisper, she could still hear it. And it seemed that her husband was very familiar with the figure who was now standing in front of them.

Adrian, who still seemed frozen in place when he saw the figure of the woman who was now standing in front of him. The woman whose arrival he had probably been waiting for, now seemed to demand to return to the time when they loved each other.

Feeling her name being called, the woman immediately turned her face. Just as surprised as Adrian, Anna's narrow eyes immediately rounded perfectly when she saw the figure of the man who still resides in her heart. Both of them were silent, and it made the figure standing right next to Adrian frown in surprise.

"Hello..." Indah greeted politely breaking the silence that enveloped them. Anna awkwardly replied by bowing. However, Adrian was different, who only looked at her flatly and coldly.

"It looks like you were at the event the other day. Are you on vacation?" Indah asked. Her big eyes roamed from head to toe of the woman who was now in front of her.

'Huh.. she looks perfect'. Indah thought.

Compared to herself, the woman was even taller than Indah by who knows how many centimeters. This made the woman sneer in her heart, why were all the women who approached her husband so beautiful?

"Ergh.. No, I'm working on a project here. You guys seem to be on vacation." Anna replied awkwardly, but her eyes never left Adrian's face who was now turning his face away. Honestly, there was a feeling of pain in her heart seeing the cold response the man gave her. She hoped that Adrian would respond to her arrival warmly.

"Yes, we are - .."

"We are on our honeymoon." Adrian said quickly, cutting off his wife's words. This made both women widen their eyes in surprise.

"Wow.. I never thought I'd meet a newlywed couple here." Anna replied bitterly. She tried her best to hold back the tears that would probably wet her smooth cheeks soon.

"I also never thought I'd meet my husband's friend here." Indah replied, successfully diverting her husband's attention who was now staring at her sharply. To hell with those eyes, she thought. This was her life, it was up to her to talk about anything as long as it didn't offend anyone.

"Friends?.. Y-yes.." Anna whispered.

"Come by our room if you have time. We can chat together." Indah offered while spreading a smile on her red plum lips which immediately invited a glare from her husband.

"Hey! Who told you to invite people as you please, Mrs. Aditama!" she said softly with emphasis.

Anna who saw Adrian's reaction could only remain silent. This was the first time she saw another expression coming out of Adrian's cold figure. As far as she knew, the man would never show his annoyance to other people, even if it was the person he loved. Indeed, he was very jealous of the woman who now had the status of Mrs. Aditama.

"What's wrong? He's your friend, so am I wrong to let you guys have a nap?" Indah replied challengingly to her husband. "Don't listen to this bear man. Oh, yeah. What's your name?"

"Bear?" said Adrian in disbelief at what his wife had just said.

Anna immediately woke up from her daydream and immediately introduced herself. "Ah, I forgot. I'm Anna."

"Don't hesitate to stop by. We're still here for a few more days. If this bear man forbids you, I'll throw him into the sea." Indah said clearly. She didn't want to look at her husband at all, because she knew that the man was giving her a deadly glare.

"Okay, enough introductions. I'm going to rest." Adrian said ending the meeting with the woman - his ex-lover and his wife. "And you, Mrs. Aditama, massage my back. I've been sore all day following you."

"Hey! You think I'm your maid. Who told you to follow me? I told you I was going on a blind date, why did you come too?" she was annoyed at her husband.

"Blind Date? You think being alone in the middle of the city is a blind date? Tsk.. you even compare me to every stupid hairy thing you meet on the street." He replied no less annoyed than his wife.

"YAK! You!.." Indah's hands were already clenched tightly and almost flew, if only Adrian didn't immediately carry his wife into the elevator. Adrian immediately carried his petite wife on his left shoulder and carried her into the elevator. Not caring if they were now a public spectacle.

"YAK, damn Aditama! I'm not done with you yet! Hurry up and put me down!" she shouted while hitting her husband's back.

"Stupid. You too Aditama. You're such a nag!" he grumbled while continuing to hold his wife who was now struggling on his shoulder tightly.

Smack!

Adrian landed a slap on his wife's buttocks to silence her. However, Indah, who didn't want to lose, immediately pulled her husband's hair.

"Ouch!" Adrian screamed in pain.

"You! How dare you hit my butt! Do you want to die?"

"You're so rude!"

The two of them continued to fight until they entered the elevator. They forgot about the figure who was now frozen in front of them with tears in her eyes.

Once again, the sight made the woman who was still faithfully standing in her place feel sad. She had no idea that it would hurt this much. She never thought that Adrian was now married. She used to think that Adrian was still willing and faithfully waiting for her to return and would not be able to be separated from her, so she decided to go home. But maybe fate said otherwise. Everything had changed 100% and it was her fault.

If she had not been selfish in following her temporary lust, maybe now the one who would get the title of Mrs. Aditama would be her. And maybe the one who would now sleep with that man would be her.

It was only natural that Adrian didn't want to look at her anymore. In the past, she had also arrogantly ended their relationship on a whim. She also didn't think about how Adrian felt at that time. Adrian didn't even want to reply to her greeting. Now there is another woman who seems to be able to replace her position in Adrian's heart, she thought. Maybe there is no longer an opportunity for them to get back together.

"You are very happy, Rian." She whispered looking at the elevator door that was tightly closed, before finally leaving the place.

...

Indah looked at her husband who was sitting beside her. There was something that bothered her heart when she remembered the expression on the woman named Anna's face when she looked at her husband. There was a look of longing that she felt there and she knew it was not an ordinary longing.

"Ian..."

"..."

"Adrian!.."

"..."

"Hey Adrian!"

The hazel-eyed man looked at his wife who was lying facing him lazily. Honestly, he knew what the woman beside him was going to discuss. In fact, now Indah was really glaring at him like a thief, and Adrian was annoyed by that. Like he had just stolen a chicken, he thought.

"What's wrong, my beautiful sister-in-law?" Adrian asked.

"Who was that? Your girlfriend?" Indah asked back while putting on her innocent face. But instead of melting, Adrian was even more annoyed. For some reason, the woman beside him really liked to interfere with his life.

"No." He answered briefly.

"Then who is she? Her face was very sad when you didn't greet her." Indah said with a worried expression. Especially when Indah remembered the expression on the woman's face which seemed to really be hoping for Adrian's greeting.

"Why are you thinking about it. She might not be thinking about you either." Adrian said while sighing. "Go to sleep, or I'll rape you now." He threatened while bringing his wife's beautiful face buried in his chest.

"What do you mean? Where do you think you are, huh?!" Indah asked annoyedly while moving her body away from her husband. Yes, they were currently lying on the bed in the room that Indah claimed as her room.

Who knows since when, when Indah finished taking a shower she saw her husband already sleeping while hugging a bolster complete with his nightwear. With an innocent face when asked the man only answered 'I want to spend more time with my beautiful sister-in-law. And that made Indah a little annoyed. She felt a hundred years older if Adrian said it.

"You, are my wife. Your room, is my room too. Understand Mrs. Aditama?" Adrian said not wanting to lose.

"Tch, you even call me like I'm your mother." Indah sneered. Then she turned her body with her back to her husband. She was lazy to argue any longer with the strange man. It was enough for her to have to share her bed with Adrian even though half-heartedly.

For a moment the room was enveloped in silence. The two people lying on the bed remained awake in their sleep. Both were lost in their own thoughts.

Indah, who still had her back to her husband, was still unable to close her eyes. She was still staring straight at the bathroom door, lost in her thoughts about the woman they had just met this afternoon.

But a deep voice suddenly came from behind her. "She's Anna."

Indah, who heard it, immediately turned her body to face Adrian. The man was sitting leaning against the headboard. Although the room was dim, her eyes caught the emptiness in her husband.

"We were in a relationship for 5 years. He and I both studied in America."

Indah was still lost in her thoughts. No wonder the woman looked very disappointed when Adrian didn't acknowledge her presence. The two of them did have a very special relationship in their past. And the reality had just hit her, that she, who was his wife, didn't know anything about her own husband.

"Two years with him, I'm sure he's the right one to be my partner. Then we planned to get married."

Adrian paused his words. He took a deep breath before he finally turned his gaze to Indah and continued. "But our wedding was canceled because she left me."

"My feelings for her have been gone for so long. I've been able to get through the phase where I was down because of her. And.. Sorry, I used you. When I was at the fundraising event, I deliberately acted affectionately towards you. It was all so that she would feel hurt." He said.

Indah lowered her head. It turned out that Adrian didn't really have any feelings for her. Her heart ached and it hurt so much in her throat. But at least she had to know herself. Adrian did that for a reason. If not, how could Adrian do it.

"It's okay. I understand." Indah whispered. She didn't know what else to say. Her heart was already hurting so much considering that the man didn't have any feelings for her.

"Indah, .. I promise that I will be a faithful husband for you."

Tsk..

That sentence should have sounded beautiful to her ears. But why did she feel emptiness. She felt that Adrian was only making her marital status a safe zone.

"Come on, you don't need to say anything. I understand. I should have realized my position." She added again. Indah once again turned her body to face Adrian.

Her hazel eyes looked at her wife who had her back to him with an expression that was difficult to interpret. He always asked himself, was Indah happy with this marriage?

Yes, I know this might sound ridiculous, but he had promised himself that in the future there would only be Indah in his marriage. His only wife. He didn't want to tarnish the marriage that was so sacred to him. For him, he only lived once, only died once and only got married once. Remembering the expression Indah gave this afternoon while walking made him hesitate. Is it possible that this marriage is going right?

***

Exactly at 1 pm, Indah finally decided to leave the room. She had spent the morning lazing around on the bed and sometimes calling Selly just to chat.

She saw that the sound of the television seemed quiet. She looked around the room. Quiet, that's all. She was sure Adrian was gone right now. Since she woke up earlier, she had not found him anywhere. But her gaze stopped on a gray box with a silver ribbon on the sofa.

She opened the box. When she opened it, she found a memo on top of the blue dress her husband had given her yesterday.

Three words that actually still had other expressions in them. She really fell in love with this dress for the first time. There was no luxurious impression there but it looked very elegant. Indah looked back at the box. She saw a small memo.

I'll pick you up this afternoon, so get ready. There's something I want to show you.

Adrian