024. About life, 1

(Eschran)

God will save us. One of them said that to his sick and dying children.

I still couldn't prevent my laugh. Not that I wanted to be mean, but too much irony killed me.

God... Oh god, eh...

Someone annoyed with my behaviour pulled me away from there harshly, hurting my wrist.

His words didn't matter to me anymore. I smiled, looking past his head and worries. I still gazed way beyond what my normal eyes could see.

He slapped me. Half to bring me back to my senses and sanity, half because he was angry at me.

He taunted me for taking the apocalypse lightly. He would never know how wrong that could be.

All I see and hear are good news!

But as my sight continued to wander outside along these wavy glows and floating lights, I thought a little about them also.

I peered toward the clouds. I followed other forms of eyes growing onto me.

Away from my lovely children on their own way for a little while.

Because I can see more and more.

E - The rain will finally stop... Two days from now I'd say. And then your god will wait for you outside.

I chuckled again, letting my scrawny and feeble frame being pushed around meanly for a while.

As much as it hurt, I could only smile. As much as despair and anger made me bleed for a while, I could only giggle again.

There's only but faith to keep us focused in times of painful doubts.

It's not an all powerful strength and trust, but it's one of the basic pillars of societal behaviour and mind.

I know what they mean by god. And I don't have it yet in my heart to tell them how much what they will find outside will test their resolve.

Because there is no god, yet. But I've seen all the signs of what will eventually come next. And this irony amuses me wildly.

I gaze again outward, at the scattering but stabilizing and vanishing sparks of my children away from me.

They have found their way...

They are already adjusting to what the world oddly has become.

They reached the answers and reasons they were gunning for... I'm so proud!

I will do my best to follow their way, so long my skeletal legs will agree to carry me.

As the next days fly by, I let myself floating along these other sights away from me. I have an eye in my back now, that lets me see reality for what they really are.

I don't think I will be able to catch up with my daughters. I don't think I will be up to the task of crossing the Caucasus mountains out there in the distance. I'm too weak now.

And now that I realise how enfeebled my lightened body has become, I doubt I'll even go very far away from here.

Such is the irony. I laugh, thinking about my dear one I will never join in the afterlife.

But I still keep these fibres inside my fingertips as dear as if they were relics from him I had willingly held onto all this time.

I notice in a daze that the two days have come to pass.

The clouds have finally stopped covering the area. The muds albeit caustic rapidly dry.

A few people come to gaze outside in mostly stupor and fears.

I'm the first one setting foot on the whitening muds of drying new crystals. The mists are gone but the dusts still hurt a lot when you breathe them a little too deep for a while.

The landscape is unrecognizable, time and death lingering for so long, none of the last ones tries to lie to themselves.

They may leave more safely outside, just as they could have gone deeper inside.

But they will have to abandon nearly every hope they clung on for that while. We all can see how this land ha died as far as can see the eye.

I turn around and exchange a last glance and my goodbyes.

E - Don't be afraid, I'm sure the new god will love you as well all the same.

My daughters will insure that.

And I leave with a bright smile.

Because over insanity and loss, there will be further hope onward.

Everything may continue to erupt and shake for a little while. Nonetheless, the way for hopeful futures has already been paved forward. They have been so intuitive and brave.

I head toward our native land instead of them. I know I won't live for much a longer while. I won't be able to catch up with them sadly. I wish I could have told them myself one last time how much I'm proud.

It's alright. I can continue to spread their good news for a little while. In this deserted land, my voice won't reach anyone. But in the other side, in the world upside down along my back, over hope, death and light, our thoughts can be shared and linger like echoing prayers for a while...

Their distorted thoughts are still reaching me, so far away from them. It's magical. I wish them well.

So my whispers to the new days will also continue to float, linger, and stain time and matters for a while.

Their words, their hope, our name.

I will spread them along my way like the greatest of news.

Until my legs really fail me in this now very barren land.

Until my sanity or what's left of it finally melts away for good and drips from my ears.

My muscles are thinner than they've ever been. I feel like I've turned into an insect, with snappy and minimal muscles along every bone, lighter and more frail than ever. And sunlight is frying what's left of my mind.

My children already carry and grow a hope wider than any other past one.

I will vanish along this road as if I never mattered. But it's alright. Thanks to them, I can smile.

~