146. The worst of night, 2

(Rose)

I've felt a little down since we escaped a monster that is still loose on the land. It's like letting an insane murderer go. You know he will kill again sooner or later. And feeling powerless against this kind of things is painful.

And according to Blume, that monster is far beyond anything we could face and prevail against. It would be suicide...

For now we managed to exit the hunting ground it had recently set. A small region of countryside is now under its control, and any remaining humans or intelligent animal within will be found and slaughtered. For no sensible reason, because it truly is a monster. Far beyond something we would dislike and call that way in order to insult it.

No, it's a real monster. The kind you do not win against in your worst nightmares.

I've had nightmares since. I did not saw what the monster looks like, but it doesn't matter.

My sense of guilt can picture it in different ways each night. And my sorrow for being unable to stop something awful from happening is hard on me.

I sleep poorly since then. Blume keeps comforting me kindly.

She thinks we cannot defeat that monster. I wonder if we should try, or let it loose until it finally comes after us.

A powerful enemy appeared, and we don't know how to react, yet.

I walk, sighing, tired.

R - Isn't there truly anything we could do?

B - Stopping a monster from being is not like stopping a wild animal. Think of it as a religion. What happens when your people tried to stop a religion?

I keep my curses in my mouth. I'm feeling so bad for some reason.

R - I haven't even seen it... Why do I keep feeling so bad?

B - You love this world. And you have a rather strong opinion for moral values. You're feeling hurt in your values, in your pride, in your confidence... Because you're wise enough to trust me... And you feel like your country had just been invaded by an awful enemy. A foe without moral or virtue.

R - War is hell... The great war was... How can I accept that this thing is here?

B - I don't know... I can only see what it is and tell you that. It probably didn't found anyone to kill though. Humans are rare nowadays.

R - I've never felt much patriotism for my species... But I cannot stand pointless killing! Why can't we stop it? If nature made a mistake it cannot correct, shouldn't we try?

B - You know your reasoning here is meaningless... Nature... Isn't a being. And the mistake is subjective opinion. This monster just is as it is now. You wanting it gone is only your selfish desire, because its existence is a threat to your life and to your beliefs. The later one being more important I think. It topples the sight of the world and yourself that you had.

R - You are right, but I believe what you call selfish desire can also support a certain amount of altruism and care. Alright... Let's say all my reasoning are just pretences. You know what? Let's say I'm just selfish. Yes, that monster is something I hate for being there and making me feel weak, powerless and sad. Let's be honest, I want everything bad I and only I feel because of it, gone. And stopping it, transforming it or killing it is the way I can foresee. I understand that you do not like it or truly accept it, but this is how humans truly react and chose to go when something topples their beliefs. Because we get violent when we're scared yes. It's not fair, it may not be as high in morality as we wish to be, but it is how we are... We go at war. And it is hell... But what we cannot accept we will always fight a way or another. Yes, I have strong moral values not necessarily compatible with my personal wishes, but now I want the threat of that monster gone!

I catch my breath back. I am angry really...

B - You want to fight this enemy far stronger than us?

R - You should know or learn that the strongest opponent doesn't always prevail. History is filled with great tacticians winning battles or wars despite less men or less firepower.

B - That's quite interesting. I see your point that main strength shouldn't be the only thing to consider... But before that... Rose, do you truly want to risk your life here? Now? The whole world is still free to explore. You could just come back later to find that monster... You have high chances to lose your life pointlessly if you go back. And to focus only on that enemy, when the whole world is yours to see! It seems so sad and narrow minded... Is this sincerely what you want it to be?

I'm scared and feeling so bad. I can't understand how I can feel so awful lately.

R - I do want to see more of the world, you're right... For once, going away without a care would be perhaps more selfish than trying to stop the monster according to my own wishes. You said it would kill, and pointlessly, needlessly. Unless that was a lie, I do want to stop it. I want to feel that I brought some good into this world. Which I kinda lack still beside for you... Feeling that what you do is fair on a greater scale than your own personal motives I s a great motivation for us. Even if it's an illusion and moral perspective sometimes, because what we believe in can be wrong... Am I wrong regarding that monster?

B - Truly, not. It's not a human with different opinions nor a wild beast. It's an obsessive monster without reason or logic anymore. It's a being like me that evolved with far worse desires and motivations. it may not even be aware of its own existence to tell you the truth. I can't tell if it's intelligent or not. I can just tell you how dangerous it is...

R - Then... That settles it. We will question the morality of my opinion and desires after we have stopped this thing. Killing it if necessary. I want to continue explore the world with you, sincerely. But today I want to do what feels right to me, for my painful feelings, and also too for the remaining humans around this land. And whether or not this belief of a greater cause was fair or right we'll ponder about afterward. Otherwise we might never act at all and accept everything occurring without ever trying to react.

B - You're saying that you accept that you may be wrong but prefer that risk to inaction?

R - Exactly! Now you're getting how many humans feel. We have things we find fair and to be greater goods that we believe in. And we can be wrong, but we try to improve things all the time.

B - So wars end up as necessities?

R - I... I guess... I never thought of it that far you know. Actually, no, they're not. They occur when two fully incompatible beliefs cannot negotiate anymore. It's not about being right or wrong, but rather two sides being obstinate until it reaches the show of strength. Well, it's hard to summarise thousands of years of human interactions in a few words so don't take my word for it.

B - I get some of the idea. I'm with you anyway. Though I'd obviously prefer if we set up a plan of some sort before charging hopelessly ahead.

R - Obviously. But you know me and how reckless I can be.

B - You may be when facing immediate danger. It's not the case now though, so you can think carefully of something.

R - That was almost a joke but well, I guess you're right. Oh, you're no fun when you don't see my teases.

B - Honestly, I was expecting you to try rushing ahead with a stick, that's why I thought I should warn you first.

R - Oh, you mean, mean spirited little flower! You will pay for this... Well... Let's think of something that could bring an end to that monster's doing...

~

The stone I kept might help, but it's something that shouldn't be used lightly she said.

B - It's like a potent tool. Use it well and it'll grant you a wish. Use it wrong or rush it, you might make things go worse.

R - How do I use it?

B - Wishing stone was only a metaphor, it won't react to your voice, but depending on what you want to use it for, either you or I can use it. For example, if you were to eat some of it and focus on your wounds, you would probably heal very quickly as you digest the thing.

R - Some of it only?

B - The whole thing would be too much energy for the purpose. You would probably transform and lose your humanity.

R - Ah right... That energy can free us from being humans, body and mind. And we turn into monsters driven by the little things our mind retained. We turn into something like you from before so?

B - There are similarities. Except that you would be a human becoming monster and keeping some remnants of your former self; whereas we're born from nothing and become monsters trying to look like humans to some extent... You would be like very diseased people turning into things, whereas... We're the disease, sometimes trying to look human.

R - Neither end seem enjoyable... So I shouldn't absorb that much power I understand, as it would be a great risk to... Lose myself like a monster.

B - as I understand it, biological lifeforms do need a certain amount of physical power to live, which is a certain amount of available energy. But everything they are and hold needs balance or makes the overall evolve. That much power we have, we spit around or that you found, its far beyond the maximum threshold your kind of being could withstand without tipping off your balance. And I can't predict which way it would lean.

R - So you can use that energy then. Using it for me while protecting me from its effect?

B - on some extent I can. Once again it depends on what you wish for. If you want to destroy a mountain, I could make it explode. But that's just an example, I know you wouldn't wish anything like that.

R - Would an explosion kill the monster?

B - Unless It's truly in the middle of a very powerful one, it's doubtful. It certainly has some physical presence, but I doubt that most of its being is within a body you could kill.

R - How could we stop the monster, without relying only on brutal strength?

B - I Wonder... How would you hunt an invisible and extremely powerful predator?

R - A predator... When it sleeps?

B - It doesn't sleep.

R - when it's vulnerable, drinking, eating...

B - It doesn't need to...

R - When it's focused on hunting its prey...

B - That, perhaps... But I don't see you using human survivors as baits. And this wouldn't give you much time to try a risky strike.

R - What about poisoning it? Make it become ill, sick, exhausted?

B - I wonder... It's not inconceivable but the equivalent to diseases for us is quite different in nature...

R - what about this? The wishing stone. You said it would corrupt me. Can you turn it into a poisonous berry it wouldn't resist eating, before its power truly dissolved it from within?

B - It's horrifyingly smart. I think this could work. Although it seems like a waste to me, to turn the item that could grant you a wonderful dream, into nothing more but a vial of poison...

R - Someone told me once that if she had to choose between becoming a princess and becoming a witch, she would choose the later. Witches are hated, but they have knowledge, and knowledge is power. I don't wish for a golden cage elsewhere. My wish is for a poisonous fruit that would grant me freedom here. With your magic, I agree on becoming a witch...

~

I'm walking on a deserted road like any other. I travel light since I lost some of my equipment. Since it's a warm summer it's all right.

She wants me to find a place to think. A place where we could stay shut in for a few days while she casts a curse I wished for on the wishing stone, in order to corrupt it into something awful enough to kill a monster.

R - Well, I don't want the stone to poison anything else but the beast. And if it can transform it into something powerless and friendly without killing it, that also works for me.

B - You can't have everything and their opposite definition at the same time. I can't create that easily something that thinks and adapts before it strikes. I can create a thoughtless weapon, not another monster. I'm not that powerful.

R - I understand. Do you think the monster is worth trying to save?

B - Worth means very little to me. But it may very well not be alive at all upon some definitions of life. So at worst in a moral point of view, it's only killing another being.

R - This would be sad, but I think it's moral enough to put down an insane murderer.

B - You said we shouldn't care about moral before it's over.

R - Trying to put morals into our thoughts and choices differentiates us from animals... And monsters. We can discuss afterward if our choices were right or wrong indeed.

B - It's tough acting human...

R - Ha ha. Sometimes it is, even for us. Being human is difficult... And... I could say that sort of is a kind of ideal goal. We all keep a part of animal instinct within. Being human is kind of an idealistic goal.

B - I was glad when you told me you saw humanity in me.

R - I do. And you're trying your very best to be one... Like me...

B - Ah... I see your fear. Everything you try to be conceals aspects and primal thoughts of yourself you refuse, because they're not good enough to you. Would you let it loose a little too much, you wouldn't be able to accept what you are anymore.

R - Something like that yes... The same way we think before we talk and don't always spurt everything that comes to mind. I couldn't be my proper self if I couldn't hold my tongue and thoughts.

B - There are some things regarding that subject I'm curious about, but I'll keep my questions for another time. For now, we should find a place where I could work on the wishing stone.

R - Any preferences?

B - Somewhere remote and with lots of stones over the walls. A place where our experiment would be as discreet as possible.

R - We'll see what we can find over those next few days.

~

We look for a vault or a fortress as we go towards the coast, a few miles further.

We wonder about our safeguard if something were to happen to us.

B - if it kills you, it won't just let me go reanimate you elsewhere over the next few years. It will kill me too. It will kill the both of us. Whatever we leave behind, it would destroy it certainly.

R - So if we are defeated, it would be the end.

B - Our safeguard isn't event ready yet. But even if it were, this monster would track us down there, to make sure we died. How long it would take it, depends on how we build it. But I doubt I can build something that would elude it for long if it's specifically looking for us. Whether we are alive or not.

R - So we have no second chance and it would be pointless anyway?

B - I unfortunately believe so, for both you and I. It's our only life and dream that are at stake here. We should be careful, very careful.

R - I understand. Let me think about what else I can find in tales I remember in order to defeat a monster...

My father had some tales about monsters and their demise. Like armies or other enemies stronger than the hero, the victory came mostly from finding a weakness to use at one's advantage. Wisdom can be stronger than strength. That's why we have a chance against all odds she would presume.

A monster existing to hunt down humans, I wonder about its weak points and beside luring it with bait, what could work against it? How do I win against an enemy I can barely comprehend? At least I'm not alone. This raises greatly my chances of success. She rises the odds, even if she's not confident in them.

We reach another abandoned city soon enough. I find what once was a bank, a small fortress within town. We go downstairs. It's an unfriendly habitat. Damp, cold, sad looking. I find after long and awfully dirty corridors the main strongbox. A room large enough to camp and walls thicker than middle-ages castles.

I hate this place. She does too. We ponder for a minute at about it. We don't want to hide in this sad hole to prepare our plan. We leave.

The city holds mostly buildings of various kinds. Few are still standing. On the outskirts of town, we find a large warehouse still standing. It looks like any other except this one lasted through time for some reason, while the others fell to the ground.

We enter the building not knowing what it could hold. It looks very normal as seen from outside. We understand it's not that much of a typical warehouse when wandering inside.

The walls of concrete are even thicker, at least 3 metres strong. It seems insane for a building only one or two stories tall. I pass by machineries falling into piles of flowering rust.

I go through odds corridors that look dug through the walls. What did they protect so dearly? I find out behind the last collapsing door. Except that I don't understand what I just found.

The main warehouse, protected like a strongbox is a very clean place, holding hundreds of dark monoliths aligned next to each other. These constructions are parallelepiped structures made of metal and plastic, wider and taller than me. The place is filled with these strange structures, all identical to one another and perfectly aligned on a grid.

The floor seems to be a giant shining mirror. It looks perfect. Since only my electrical torch lits up the place, it looks rather impressive. A wall is collapsing in the distance and the fissure lets some evening light in.

I find out that the odd monoliths are machines. They have buttons, wires, screws, numbers. I have no clue what they were used for however. It doesn't look like a factory.

This place we like better. We'll settle there for a while. A few days she says she needs.

I'll stay around and sleep always on the same place, next to a shrine where the wishing stone will be properly cursed.

She still feels that it's a waste of an amazing gift. I can understand it a little. But what I want is greater... I feel bad about the current situation, but I'd rather sacrifice the power I've gained if it can bring us a wider peace of mind.

Whether I'm right or wrong is probably not for today to decide. And no matter how bad I feel currently, I believe I'm making the better choice preparing for war against the monster. The Ogre...

I want to kill an actual Ogre. For myself and maybe for others.

So she works, and turns at night slowly the amazing gift we found into a poisonous berry the ogre would want to swallow like a feast.

The stone shines the same way as usual. I cannot sense any difference. She speaks less than usual during the day because she keeps working on it from a distance. She can do that as long as I don't go too far away from the odd machines warehouse.

I explore the dead city during the day. I managed to find tools and even clothes. Some can food too, which is surprisingly still edible. I widen the fissure in the wall letting some light and air inside the vault. However some steel fences are buried within the wall and don't allow me to dig a true shortcut to get in.

With some mirrors I get some more light within. I pass time as I can. I think about what I've learned and try to come up with a plan to beat the ogre with the lesser risks for us. It's a difficult exercise with great risks at stake.

I'll come up with this something. I'm rather confident. Whether it has conscious awareness or not, the ogre is a beast in its behaviour and motivations. I won't underestimate its intelligence, but I will assume Blume is right. She knows a few things about our enemy. And, scientia potentia est...

Let us see if Rose can defeat an Ogre...

~