369. Heroess, 1

(Rose)

Bleue joined us after a while, to everyone's surprise.

She had found something so amazing, she just couldn't wait for my return.

I expected to find her showing a treasure she had found, but I should have recalled to myself what Bleue's treasures could look like.

A sheet of paper with scribbles on it.

And an odd trinket attached to her belt. That later part wasn't meant for me.

I was more curious about the fashion accessory she now carried than the no doubt peculiar thing she wrote for me.

In a theatre, she had found both.

Or her accessory first, which revealed the later to her. It was ornamented metallic jewels, made of brass perhaps. It was a typical set of two masks we had the chance to discuss once in a while. The face of tragedy was eclipsed behind the one of comedy.

The spooky face of a daiûa. Of course she liked it.

What followed was easy to understand.

She held my hands with the gleam of passion and amazing idea in her eyes.

Judge. I defeated it. I was a hero in her eyes, furthermore as she had not really believed in my victory at the time.

While our friends looked at us, trying fruitlessly to understand what was happening, Bleue was letting her passion overflow on me.

Heroism. Challenges. Fearful odds.

Trials from the gods....

It all suddenly made sense to Bleue in a way Mushio could easily have predicted.

So Bleue getting confusing in her explanation finally opened the piece of paper and read there to me my destiny she thought of as a hero in her heart.

Her heroess...

B - It's your twelve labours, to become a legend as well!

R - You mean like Herakles? I'm nowhere manly enough to strangle beasts.

B - But you're even stronger than him! In many ways! You're a witch!

R - Well, I know coming from you it's meant as a compliment... But...

What is she thinking of? I could have asked why also, but given how excited Bleue was, I didn't dare ask why right away. She was passionate.

B - They're classified in two kinds. The heroess challenges about life and death; and the mystical knowledge. From what I recall, Herakles only used his muscles, and his brain just to better use his muscles. You will have tougher challenges that are purely intellectual. What he couldn't do.

R - That probably would have insulted many literary people to claim their greek hero was just a brute without intelligence... But thank you for implying I'm not only a brute at the very least.

B - Silly you. Just wait...

Here comes my destiny according to the one I love, in order to become a legend.

B - Build a flying ship.

R - That's well underway.

B - It still is impressive.

R - That's true. What next?

B - Kill a dragon. And also save the life of a demon.

I frown, I don't understand.

B - You still have a few challenges that are warrior's trials. Killing a dragon is a must for many classical heroes.

R - Yes perhaps, but...

B - Yes, it's a two parts challenge. For the ones about life and death, there will always be a reversed aspect to accomplish as well, except for the last one.

R - That still doesn't explain the main issue. What do you mean by saving a demon?

B - Do you remember what the heroess did in her first labour? Don't just kill every enemy you face. Some of them you should spare, and befriend.

R - You're talking about Nightmare...

B - Hm... Maybe!

Just maybe? I don't follow.

B - Then, in the category of knowledge, the next challenge is to have heterosexual and homosexual intercourses.

R - Eh... What? But I've already done that... And both of them with you!

B - That's right. Some of them you've already accomplished. With a twist furthermore for this one as you noticed. It still impressed me you did it, knowing who you were before.

I don't reply, a little speechless.

The older me was very different that's for sure.

B - The next one is even more impressive you know. It's to come back to life and resurrect someone else. Congratulations on that too Rose! Not many heroes pulled out the first one nor yet alone the second. You succeeded in both. Impossible didn't stop you.

I don't know what to say again.

B - The next one is one you should have accomplished years ago. Learn the new European language!

R - Ah yes, I really ought to.

B - Bad Rose, bad. You need to learn it... Then is to kill a god, and help another one to rise into existence.

R - What exactly do you mean by god?

B - The new ones. The self-proclaimed gods.

R - Then does Judge count, for both?

B - No. For killed one maybe. But he's not one whom would currently live thanks to you. You'll have to help another one.

R - Remind me why do I have to help gods and demons again?

B - Because doing and seeing things all black or all white is below you Rose. And the worst one with the two aspects of life and death is yet to come.

R - Great... So, why not just doing good things?

B - Because being narrow minded is deceptive. Daiûas believe they're gods. Do you think only aiming for the good we can think of is enough to make you a hero?

R - Well, yes?

B - You're not a soldier Rose. If you don't experience other sides of things, you will be as narrow minded with what you think is good as the demons we face. One idea to its extreme will become obsessive and eventually counterproductive.

R - I can sort of see what you mean. It still is a stretch to me.

B - Let's put it another way. I'm asking you to be human, accepting the good and the bad, not trying mindlessly to exorcise half of your real nature to become god-like.

R - ... Those are heavy words you just said. I understand...

B - Your thorns must be brought to light as well Rose. I never said your labours would all be easy or pleasant. They're your challenges. So the next one is my favourite. One even Herakles could never have achieved. Understand the basic principles of quantum chromodynamics!

R - What on Earth is that?

B - Something about elementary particles. Mushio can probably teach you. I thought it was the right opportunity!

R - I guess. So, learning a knowledge of the fundamental ways the world is therefore. Okay, I'll try.

B - Then, you'll prove your might in destroying all life in a square kilometre radius. And also create or spread life over a same area of lifeless desert.

R - That's quite violent. Why would I do that?

B - That's beside the point. Maybe one day you will need to do it for a greater good. What then? Is it worse not to help or to sacrifice a few to help many?

R - It's the kind of moral arguments you should have with Nightmare. I don't know. It would also depend if it's my own choice or a traitorous deal from a daiûa. I would tend to refuse their deal because they have ulterior motives. It really depends on the circumstances and life involved...

B - Time will tell. It still is on your list regardless, heroess.

 ~

B - The next labour is to find the source of T.I on Earth.

R - Oh? So you do want me to go on such perilous adventures to the end of Earth?

B - Hm... Maybe. It's also besides the point.

Is it?

Odd.

B - Then is to kill a child, and to raise another one.

I lost my smile.

Bad memories and guilt resurface.

B - I know, it's already done for the first part. Congratulations!

R - Are you joking?

B - Not really. Whether you like it or not is still beside the point. Furthermore it's done, you did it and you have to live with it. It's a part of you and what you've become. Like your thorns, even if you hate that part of you, it will rot as long as you don't bring it to light. Good or bad...

It's sadly something that made me into what I am. Charlotte and Victoria... My memories of the time are really confused, but some details remain clear. It felt like a drunken nightmare these first days. When you're not sure if it's real or hallucinations. And the others didn't help shed the doubts for different reasons.

But I can't celebrate what I've done.

B - It's a part of your legacy now. Sometimes heroes are also murderers, make mistakes and fail. Although that's also irrelevant.

What matters to Bleue is for me not to let it rot inside of me. I get it. I'm not happy with it either way.

B - Then is to visit the other world and return.

R - The other side? It's hell. I've been there longer than enough already.

B - And you've returned! Congratulations Rose. And I'm glad you returned...

~

R - It's quite a long list.

B - Well, the next one is the last real challenge but there's a final labour after. This one is simply for you to reunite with Blume.

Oh.

B - Why, how and when won't matter. Just reunite with Blume someday.

Blume... It's been a long time since I last had her flowers on my chest.

I do miss her. But before I can think about her longer, Bleue concludes her list.

B - And the last labour for you my dear heroess is, to live on for another year. This labour is to repeat as many years as you can.

R - Just to live?

B - Yes. To survive in this world of yours. To remain alive is a challenge in itself sometimes. And I want to congratulate you here as well for succeeding in there around eight times already I know sometimes it will be more challenging than every other labour combined... You will have to find the courage to thrive.

Congratulation for being alive.

For living on, for another year.

I wasn't expecting anything.

And just like that, years were gone.

It's been so odd, in more ways than you realise.

And it's been fun.

~

Bleue called those the twelve insane labours of Rose Blume.

I'm puzzled about them. Some do make a hero of me, arguably. But some clearly make a villain out of me more than anything.

On one hand, it's not a nice perspective. Though I'm always trying to be virtuous, I've never aimed or wished to be a real hero. On the other hand, I kind of understand Bleue's perspective that you should keep some objectivity in my perspective, before intransigence becomes tyranny. But... It's still difficult.

Achieving incredible things once in a while is... unrelated?

And something inside of me enjoys fighting.

I thought of it as a primal beast, but under the right light and context, maybe it can appear as a heroic instinct?

That's what antic literature is all about. But I don't believe my life will or even should become a legend.

I just want to live on and enjoy it.

Nevertheless, I will keep these challenges in a corner of my memory from here on.

~