The Fuhrer

"I'm 'bouta mess you up!" Burgers the fuhrer screamed. "Veller is my woman. You dun' messed with the wrong one, boy!"

Deon chuckled, then shouted, "En garde, fuhrer! This woman is my means of obtaining honor from the banks. You shall not do as one pleases with my honor!"

"Burgers, save me!" cried Veller.

"Quiet, woman!" Burgers screeched. "Or need I remind readers that 6 chapters ago, you couldn't e'en remember my voice! Bank tellers..."

Eight chapters ago. He could not even remember his debut.

Veller pleaded, "I'm sorry, baby. Can't we work this out?"

Burgers cackled, "Hoohoohoo! You mean like how you held that man you di'int e'en know an' put him to sleep? Hoohoo! Women..."

"What do you want from me?" Veller softly inquired.

Burgers roared, "I wancha to act like a woman! To be rough with people! Why're you tryna be all soft like a man?! It's disturbin'!"

"I can be soft, too!" Veller defended herself. "I'm softer than a lot of guys, baby! But I'm still a woman in the end."

Burgers whispered, "Then the only use I e'en have for you is soft'nin' up the orange blob o'er there. Do it and you can stay by my side."

"But he helped me find you. And gave me an excuse to get out of work," Veller protested.

Deon applauded, "Excellent points, but also, I am far too formidable of an opponent to-"

"Shut up!" everyone else in the room chided.

"Deon, let them finish their drama. It is getting kind of good," I requested.

Burgers howled, "It's either me or him! Choose! And it better not be him!"

That is not really a choice then. At least, not a legally binding one.

"Sorry," Veller said regretfully, "but you heard the man. Let's do this."

"Nuh-uh. I was here first," said the first in line.

"Fret not, impending matches!" Deon demanded. "I shall defeat every one of you simultaneously!"

Everyone in line murmured amongst themselves angrily. "Let's get 'em!" was eventually boomed by one of them.

The crowd charged Deon at once. Deon took a deep breath, relaxed, and cooled himself; first figuratively, then literally. Now an orange snowbank, the pillows slammed into him... only for the first ones to be stuck and all the rest to bounce off of the first ones, careening high into the sky. Deon sublimated himself with fiery excitement; first figuratively, then- you get the point. He was back in his cloud form and he threw the other guys out of there. Now let us get to the real fight.

"Now, let's get to the real fight!" Burgers snarled. "Bounce that boy sky high, Veller!"

"If you say so," Veller lamented. "Come on, baby. Let's-"

"Baby?!" shrieked Burgers. "What're you doin' callin' another man that?!"

Veller explained, "I can call anybody that. What's the problem? You jealous?"

Burgers vacuumed air into his anthropomorphic lungs, then exhaled, "Not anymore," prior to walking away from Veller.

"Hold up! I'm sorry!" she repented. "I won't call anybody baby from now on! Burgers! Please, baby..."

"Never worry," Deon said pridefully, "for I am at your side, fair maiden. We shall find a husband for you, surely."

"Great," Veller spoke sarcastically, then quickly asked, "It's not you you're recommending, right?"

Deon chuckled, "Flattering, but my quest for honor comes before all else. Ahahaha! Silly teller."

"Thank goodness!" muttered Veller under her breath.

"Deon, how do you plan on finding a man for such a mannish woman?" I inquired. "And how does that bring you honor?"

Veller scowled, "I know we only met recently and I'm prolly crazy for even trying to talk to you, but I'm standing right here, bozo!"

"Regardless," started the peon, "Veller is like a daughter to me: fiesty and proud. She can fell people even!"

Veller rolled her eyes and said, "You are not my father."

"Then let us find the man that is so that you may be given away by a man to a man; for that is the proper way to arrange a marriage," declared Deon.

"I don't need no man!" Veller snapped.

"Double negative, so..." I mumbled.

Deon argued, "Did you not beg for Burgers? And as an individual that has experience matchmaking, I assure you, that is the kind of man who would rather sandwich himself between some random wheat bun twins than be with a woman like you. Maybe with ketchup. If you were that desperate for someone like him, then-"

"I need a man!" Veller cried.

"So be it. Our new adventure begins!" shouted Deon. "Let us find Veller's father!"

Veller informed him, "I can just telecommunicate with him using my telecommunications device."

Really? All of a sudden, now everybody has one? Oh, yeah, the initial crowd did... nevermind. Continue.

Veller telecommunicated with her daddy, "Daddy? It's me, your little bank teller!"

"Pshaw! You ain't little no more! Bank telling is a big girl's job. Heehee!" he snickered. "Whatcha want, girl? I'm playing poker with the boys."

Cannot tell if he was being sarcastic.

"I was hoping you could find me a man who'll take me away," softly spoke Veller. "I'm lonely."

"I am right her-" Deon tried to include himself before being unable to be heard.

Hanover the land owner, Veller's father, cheered upon hearing his daughter's request, "Heck, yeah, boys! My daughter's getting married to one of you sons of guns! Woohoooo!"

Deon yelled, "Veller needs a man! Not boys, as you call them. These hard-headed gun nuts do not have what it takes to satisfy a lady of this creed!"

"Hold up, boys- I mean, don't hold me up- I mean, men- I mean," begged Hanover to the boys- I mean, men that were rising against him slowly. "Ye-augh!"

The telecommunications device ended its connection with the other.

"Oh, my gosh!" shrieked Veller. "We have to go save him!"

"Like we had to free Burgers? How did that work for you?" Deon facetiously quipped. "Besides, he is supposed to be a man; your father, no less. He should be able to take care of himself."

"You got him into trouble! You get him out!" Veller demanded.

"Only if he no longer recognizes himself as a man afterward," ultimated Deon.

Veller relented, "Fine! Let's just go already!"

"Indeed!" bellowed Deon whilst leaping into the sky. "Uh, which way is it?"

"North, y- [hack], dang fool!" Veller coughed, struggling to breath that high in the atmosphere.

The orange Deon flew through the air to help his students; somewhat like a bus with magical abilities meant for school.

"Right... here..." whispered Veller, almost unconscious.

"Here we are!" Deon said in triumph.

"What?!" screamed Veller. "Why are we here?!" she asked irately while glancing around a school.

"I thought you said right here," explained Deon. "I asked which place to-"

Veller boomed angrily, "I was unconscious! You flew too high!"

"I am a cloud," excused Deon. "What can I say? Let us ask that female teacher that looks frizzled for directions."

"Nooo! I know where it is!" Veller cried.

"Tell me then, teller!" commanded Deon.

Can we just skip forward at this point?

"Never!" annoyingly shouted Deon. "You do not rush the adventures of one such as I."

"You are not even handsome," I rebutted. "Why should anyone even pay att- ouch! Hey! What are yo- owuu... How does a cloud even use blunt- ffllmmm, okay, okay!"

"Are you done? It's south, now," impatiently discussed Veller.

"Ahaha!" Deon laughed. "We are on our way, again!"

"Hooray," sarcastically scoffed Veller. "Let me just hold my... BREATH!" she screeched at the end because Deon rapidly floated away without warning.

Since Deon is busy jetting around the skies, I can now skip ahead. Why should I? Because he went to the wrong place three more times!

"Finally!" Veller belted. "Daddy, are you okay? Would you tell us that you're okay?"

"Seems like he has been hit by- he has been shot by; a smooth set of criminals," examined Deon.

There were multiple holes in Hanover's body.

"Daddy, you're okay!" Veller hollered.

There were multiple holes in Veller's body too. I forgot to mention that they are blocks of swiss cheese. Anthropomorphic blocks of swiss cheese. That apparently have no need of packaging or freezing or any kind of preservation.

"They needed me to preserve their lives!" commented Deon complimentarily.

"You did not even notice that his daughter had holes in her before assuming his holes to be made by bullets!" I pontificated.

Hanover calmly said, "The boys were very upset at the insults of this idiot," he motioned towards Deon, "but as guns, they couldn't do anything to a block of cheese. I had softness advantage. Their bullets would've bounced off me and shattered their hardened bodies."

That is not how that works.

Do not shoot blocks of cheese with guns, kids. Well, do not shoot guns in general, if you are a kid. Except water. And laser tag. And maybe paintball. Do not use regular fire arms, kids.

"I'm just glad you're okay, daddy!" sobbed Veller.

"Now with all that said," Hanover smiled before shouting, "who the heck is this guy and why is he tryna act like your father?!"

"Heh, are you jealous, daddy?" giggled Veller.

"Yes!" Hanover roared.

"Another one of these, I see!" mused Deon. "I shall have at you next episode of the Proud Cloud. Roll end credits!"

You do not have an anime yet! And I still want to know how Burgers got out of prison.

This is a horrible spinoff. Only my handsome face can save it. Take a good look, reade- What? What do you mean "they are unable to see" me? Readers, if you want to see my handsome face, you have no ability to do so outside of the story. Ten dollars for entry inside the story to the first ten callers! And... all positions are filled! Good luck next time, folks! Looks like these should cost money...