He Doesn't Know What He Feels

He jumped onto his bed right after changing his clothes. There were a lot of notifications when he opened his phone. A massive amount of messages filled his social media accounts as he checked them all with a happy face and a song on his lips. After about twenty minutes of checking his social media, he jumped off the bed, rushed to the kitchen, grabbed some food, and flew back to his room. He sat down in his chair and opened his PC, which was filled with multiple tabs, from Anime streaming sites to media editing tools. He was quite extroverted and famous enough, judging by the number of his followers on social media.

He drew pictures, sang songs, watched animes, read novels and manga, texted with people, played games... He did everything he enjoyed. But that side of him was hidden, even from his family. He was a shut-in, a weird high schooler who only showed his "studying" side to his parents, pretending he cared about things others cared too much about.

As his thoughts turned sad, thinking about his life, he turned off the lights and closed his eyes, trying not to think about anything so he could sleep. It was quite early for him to sleep, but his thoughts were much more depressing than usual, so he just wanted to forget everything.

He struggled to fall asleep, even though he was always up early in the morning. He usually slept around 12 a.m., but now it wasn't even 10 p.m. and no one was at home.

When he opened his eyes, he turned off his alarm an hour before it could ring and began cleaning the mess he made yesterday. After finishing the cleaning and preparing for school, his mother called again. "Javohir, breakfast is ready." He rushed, as usual, intending to slip out of the kitchen and go straight to school. His mother caught him on the stairs, so he couldn't escape like he did every day. It was unusual for his mother to speak to him with a serious look, but this time, she made him stop and talk for a moment.

"Why don't you ever talk to me sometimes?"

"About what?"

"How's school going?... You're graduating this year, so maybe something new has happened or... anything that's bothering you, or something ordinary, like 'I got scolded by my teacher'...?" She was nervous, not knowing how to converse with her own son.

"Everything's perfectly normal! Nothing's bothering me! And you know I don't get scolded by anyone at school either! If I were to tell you what happened every day, it would be boring for you to listen to the same thing over and over! So I won't bother you telling you the same thing every day!" His voice was loud and clear, with a cheerful smile on his face as he tried to make his mother feel better.

"Oh... I see... But isn't it weird?... How should I put it..." She lowered her face, not knowing how to ask what she meant.

"Like what? Being perfectly normal and having no problems counts as weird?"

"No, I didn't mean it that way."

"Okay, mom, I'm going to be late. I needed to leave earlier today." He tried to slip away from his mother's questions.

"Wait! Why don't you ever talk about yourself? I know I'm always at work, and everyone else is not here, too, but at least complain about something."

"Hahaha... Why, mom? It's just a sign that I'm perfectly fine. Not complaining means there's nothing to complain about!" He happily hugged his mother, trying to make her feel at ease.

After this small talk, he calmed his mother down and left the house.

As he turned away from his mother and opened the door, his face turned as serious as it could be, just like his usual self at school. It was like a transformation, as if his mood could change so easily, or as if he could control the muscles in his face to look different in different places, making his face appear fake. But was his serious face showing his true feelings?

Again, the same way, the same garden, the same school, the same class, the same mood... Then class finishes, and the same way back home, and that same garden, and the same house... Everything was the same every day, just after he left his home.