MY EXPERIENCES WITH THE COURTS OF LAW IN THE UNITED KINGDOM My Journey

by Blessed Kearns

In law, merits are the inherent rights and wrongs of a legal case, 

absent of any emotional or technical bias. The term comes 

from Old French merite, meaning "reward" or "moral worth". 

The evidence is applied solely to cases decided on its merits, 

procedural and any matters are discount

BLESSED LINAH KEARNS CLAIMANT

 V

TO THIS HOSPTAL/ DEFENDANT

The name of the hospital and their lawyers have been omitted 

from my story.

 Contents

MY JOURNEY....4

ACAS....4

TRIBUNAL ...5

MEDIATION PROCEEDINGS .....7

END OF LIFE/CAREPACKAGES....16

SOCIAL WORKERS FROM MAIDENHEAD ...21

END OF LIFE CAREPACKAGE ...23

LONDON.....24

WHISTLE BLOWER....39

CARE QUALITY COMMISSION.....40

PUBLIC CONCERN AT WORK....41

CARE QUALITY COMMISION....45

Whistleblowing in UK .....46

America about Whistleblowing ....46

PUBLIC CONCERN AT WORK....48

Whistle-blower's in America .....49

DEMENTIA....51

LIVE IN JOBS...64

APPEALING LETTERS 2017/2019 .....68

PAYMENT FOR APPEALING THIS CASE ...79

PREFACE....91

Oxford....94

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This is the beast of the jungle; it was built to survive the harsh 

conditions. It is built with turf skin. It survives the jungle life, 

and even lions approach them with caution. The vicinity I 

encountered with this beast was unbelievable. I was invading 

their space, and I knew this.

I saw two of these beasts at very close range; at that time they 

were flapping and stamping their feet and flapping their ears,

ready to charge towards me. My heart was beating against my 

chest, and I believed it was the end of me. I wondered whether I 

was going to survive, however, I managed to get through this 

terrifying ordeal. 

I fear a human. I don't fear an animal that much as you know

what is going to happen to you, but a human being is so 

unpredictable, they come to you with false pretence with a 

purpose to get you down and this scares me a lot. When a dog 

buck you know there is something going on, but not humans who 

can be vicious and cut you without even blinking an eye that is 

the only thing that can bring me down, they have done this in the 

past, not anymore, I have imaged stronger than before I am 

writing books now as my tool to survive in this harsh world.

I was once a Registered Mental Health Nurse, but those days of 

practicing are now over—a wound that will not heal until the 

good Lord calls for me.

I have taken another route as I am trying to put everything 

behind me; I loved doing my job with a smile on my face every 

day. Boy, I loved my job. 

I held on at the same times I was asking myself these questions 

can this be done? Where do I start? How will I get there with no 

solicitor? And with no knowledge of law. I was nervous and 

worried of saying the wrong things, and how to I answer. Would

I be able to handle pressure? If these questions were directed 

towards me, what would I say, and how would I respond? Would

I be able to do this ? Will I make it? Who was I to imagine this?

"Cowards die many times before their death but once men at 

some times are maters of their fate The fault dear Brutus is not 

in our stars, but in our selves' that we are underlings." – William 

Shakespeare 

An African with not much Education? This was not a movie this 

was far from the script which is done by the actors, and this was

for really. 

It is my journey which I wanted the to put forward and it came 

time to put pen and paper then my the lap top in front of me and 

I started.

Mind you, this was a very big hospital, and I was just a little fish 

swimming in the sea with its big waves. (AMAGAGASI 

OLWANDLE – waves of the sea) – English translation

My fate comes from up above: Jesus Christ my Lord. I can 

honestly say I was clueless as I did not have any knowledge 

about the law.

When dealing with courts it became like a roller-coaster. I was 

up and down; there was no time to rest or to socialise, or even 

time to see my family.

My only option was to read and try and empower myself and 

take this case forward, even if I did not have money or a 

solicitor. But I was willing to take it further by way of

determination.

I had my insurance with the bank that was going to cover all 

legal costs which was helpful. In June 2015 just after I had 

resigned to be precise.

There was time when I really wanted to drop everything, but 

deep down there was a feeling in me telling me to try this. I was 

worried. I sat down next to my computer and I wrote in big and 

bold writing: BLESSED LINAH KEARNS V to this hospital. I 

had so many doubts. I remember having these before I went to 

university, to study nursing and caring for people. This one was 

from a different angle, it was law, which I did not have any 

directions. This is what drove me to write a book, which feels

like therapy to me.

The NMC procedure was very expensive which costed me £6.00 

it is all in my Second Addition Where is Justice for Blessed 

Consequently, I could not afford a lawyer to represent me.

There was a lady who was recommended to me by the previous 

Barrister who helped with the NMC allegations, which is all in 

my Second Addition: Where is Justice for Blessed.

Consequently, I could not afford a lawyer to represent me.

(NMC allegations are more detailed in this book.)

I have come from far from looking after my father's cows, goat 

and donkey, and feeding chickens with corn. being a single 

mother, housekeeper, domestic servant, Nanny in African the in 

United of Kingdom worked as Health care support Worker, and 

working my way through and becoming a Qualified Nurse in 

United Kingdom and then becoming an Author with published 

books. Globally, it's a huge achievement for me.

MY JOURNEY

In the beginning I gathered most of the files in bundles, which 

were sent to Watford offices as I believed the courts had offices 

there and were accepted. Throughout this process there was 

much paperwork/documents, which I will mention as bundles 

throughout my writing. ACAS was one of the organisations 

which became the focus throughout this process, who were there 

to give me advice prior to taking my case to court. Their aim is 

to improve organisations' working life through better 

employment relations, working with employers and employees 

to solve problems and improve.

ACAS

ACAS means the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service 

referred to in section 247 of the Trade Union and Labour 

Relations (Consolidation) Act 1992(a)l A Tribunal shall, 

wherever practicable and appropriate, encourage the use by the 

parties of this service by judicial or other mediation, or other 

means of resolving the disputes by agreement. www.acas.org.uk

ACAS was my main contact when I was seeking guidance. 

This journey was like running a marathon; the process was too 

long from the start (2015–2019). The entire case was draining, 

mentally and physically.

I had my insurance with the bank that could cover my legal 

costs, so it was not an issue there. Hence managing to get the 

Barrister to help me with this in the beginning. 

TRIBUNAL

The tribunal is system of the United Kingdom is a part of a 

national system of administrative. The Tribunal are specialist 

courts whose judges and members hear a wide range of cases,

such as employment etc. www. Judiciary

Employment Tribunals is an independent judicial body who 

resolve disputes between employers and employees over 

employment rights. They will hear claims such as unfair 

dismissal, breach of contract, discrimination.www.gov.uk

https://postimg.cc/XGwffxDL

There was a legitimate website, which required payment. This 

website had a time limit, and I was not aware of this until it 

started to log in, and then a few minutes later it logged me out. I 

could not even make a cup of tea during this process of filing my 

grievances. I finally did it, and there was a reference number for 

any correspondence with the courts and the Defendant.

In 2015 two bungles/ documents full of the paperwork as 

evidence was sent to court to start my grievances filed properly 

although I am not a secretary and has never done an office job,

but this needed to be done.

These documents were labelled with my grievance in numbers,

filed accordingly, and then sent to the Watford offices. A few

days passed by and then I received a letter accepting my 

grievances, which took a load of my shoulders. Little did I know

that it was just the beginning.

I was on my toes most of the time from 2015 cannot recall the 

exact month but I kept on I ran around about like a 'headless 

chicken'; in other words, in a frenzied manner, distractedly 

crazy; this was compounded by my inexperience with law. 

Nobody told me about paperwork that caused me to send so 

many grievances in court in big bungles in the beginning it was 

crazy this reminded me when I started University where I could 

carry loads and loads of books of which some did not even read 

them, there I was doing the very same thing it must have been in 

my blood when I panic but I carried on.

Some of the documents were not necessary as it was too much, 

emails, to top it up with policies where I worked, I was so 

disorganised but never the less I did it. As the saying goes one 

never knows what made the pig fat.

I was never told anything about dealing with paperwork; this was 

something I had to figure it out on my own, but I managed to get 

through it.

After receiving a letter of conformation regarding the first 

meeting, I became less anxious. I made the Barrister aware that 

this meeting would be in Reading with the Respondent in 2015,

but this meeting was adjourned due to the fact that this lady 

could not make it due to other work commitments. It appeared 

she had some work and that puzzled me; but I held on this 

should have been red flags for me. I had picked the wrong 

Barrister but I carried on.

MEDIATION PROCEEDINGS

Mediation is a confidential process The outcome mediators 

might provide Parliament with information about the law, as per 

the circumstances of the case Mediation is an informal dispute 

settlement process run by a trained third party, called a mediator. 

This meeting is intended to bring two parties together, to clear up 

misunderstandings, find out concerns, and reach a resolution. 

www.gov.uk/guidance/-mediation

Meeting in Reading (2016) 

Reading offices are not very far from Oxford; my sister travelled 

from London to Oxford to give me support so she spent the night 

in my house and in the morning we travelled together to 

Reading. 

On arrival, we looked for the building and it was not far from the 

train station. There were tall buildings which were built like 

Victorian so we walked around until we found the building. 

Once we got to the reception we were greeted by a polite young 

lady, who called the security guard to show us around. He had a 

shoulder badge written SECURITY but did I not take much 

notice. We were guided to waiting room and there were few 

people waiting and everyone had a number which was given 

from the reception we also had one I was wondering where the 

Barrister who was supposed to be with me at that time when she 

will arrive. 

In this room there were people who seemed to be lawyers/

solicitor as they wore suits and women were wearing skirts with 

their hair tied and the back. Others were not even talking to each 

other, when I looked around there was so many sad faces it was 

tough, some appeared like they were travelling with their 

solicitors.

Finally, the Barrister arrived and I introduced myself and my 

sister. She had arrived slightly late wearing a floral skirt and did 

not have anything in her hands, just a small notebook with a pen. 

The other party (Dependent) had arrived. I did not know them

and I only saw them briefly. Once we were called inside the 

courtroom, we sat facing the Judge. 

It was medium-sized room with chairs we all sat facing the judge 

who was at the front it was a female Judge who started asking 

questions, which were all answered by the Barrister. I did not 

bring any paperwork, most of the paperwork I had already sent 

to Watford, and both did not have anything I cannot recall the 

main reasons of me sending all the bungles to Watford. After this 

short meeting we all parted ways.

I realised that I had picked a wrong Barrister, as the 

communication was very bad, with very little information being 

exchanged between us. The only time I heard from her was when 

I was sent a reminder regarding her bill. 

On leaving Reading my eye caught a lady crying and she 

mentioned she'd had enough, she could not make it. I just gave 

her a glance and she was with other people who were talking to 

her presumably it was her lawyer. who were trying to console 

her.

I had just started, and I was willing go further no matter what as 

the days progressed, I was spending too much on the computer 

due to lack of experience kid you not. I knew it was going be a 

struggle. 

I had been to several libraries in London where my daughter 

lived doing the work paper loads of documents and sending them 

to court mainly and the defendant. 

Summertown has a library and Kidlington which is not far from 

where I live I found this convenience hence traveling to these 

places for libraries for a computer. The computer in the house 

had run low of ink I had to go to the local Library for printing I 

had to pay for just a copy and there was a this time limit which I 

was aware off Library and courts and I was working under 

pressure and felt it spending maximum two hours at the Library 

in one computer was not enough or an option. The libraries have 

rules about using the computer you are time limited, I could not 

spend too much time on one computer

Although there is a saying that "no news is good news", to me 

there was nothing like that. I was genuinely worried sick and

physically my strength was fading. I tried to build this strong 

bond with the postman and every time I saw him, I used to ask if 

he had any thing for me, and every time he would answer by 

saying no "sorry". I felt like I was pestering him too much. Even 

if my anxieties remained, I felt like a lost soul 2017 but I was not 

ready I used every little strength in me

When other letters arrived, they were mainly bills to pay, etc.,

but nothing from the court. I would call the Watford office if 

there was any response from the Judge who was dealing with 

this particular case. I remember when I was informed the Judge 

went on leave and soon as he returns, I will be informed this 

puzzled me as I thought someone must have taken over. Using 

the same principle as when your doctor in on leave, someone 

else should be able to treat you to prevent you from suffering.

Once your case is accepted, you are on your toes all the time,

especially when you are on your own. I found out I had to work 

hard as I had no lawyer or solicitor to assist me. I can honestly 

say I could not say boo to a dead goose. I did not want to fail but 

deep down, slowly and surely, I could feel this case was slipping 

through my fingers. I attended every single meeting in principle

nevertheless.

Although my body was battered and bruised, it was mainly my 

spirit that was broken. I was not sleeping very well or constantly 

having bad dreams. I felt drained mentally and physically. Once 

your case has been discussed and not resolved more evidence 

will be needed, and then another meeting. I was not that 

confident. I am not a lawyer. This was not my kind of a job. I

fought tooth and nail for this case, from start to finish.

Tribunals have strict guidelines which need to be followed. I 

knew about this through reading. It was like falling and having 

the courage to stand up again; therefore, I kept on appealing

throughout hence this case took a very long time to finish. letter 

of acceptance 2015 I was over the moon this time.

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I genuinely believed my documents would be sent back to me as 

I was made to believe by the reception of the court but this 

turned out not to the case it was not easy. During these 

meetings when the issue is not resolved it takes time for another 

date to be set. There was time I was distracting my mind and at 

the same preparing for my court case, my thoughts were based 

on my past experiences as a nurse not as a lawyer and I did not 

have knowledge about law when called their office I was 

informed I will get those documents back once the Judge has 

finished taking notes but this turned out not to be the case.

I was concerned about those big folders as to whether they 

would arrive when I was not at home, that was my worry. My 

bundles remained in the Watford department until the end of the 

case.

During this ordeal I got a letter of confirmation about the 

meeting. In the back of my mind, I thought the Judge must have 

taken all the relevant information to get the resolution, hence

having the meetings, but it turned out not to be case. More 

information was required. These meetings could take up to a few 

weeks and travelling had become an issue due to lack funds;

there was no money coming in at all, and this was a very 

different experience, and a tough one.

I could not find my way forward; I was clueless. I wanted to 

make sure that I was going through the right channels, and for 

the court to acknowledge the hardship that I had gone through. I 

could feel this case was slipping out of my hands. I did not have 

much knowledge about the law, but I kept on going.

There was this meeting in London that stands out when attended

with my sister and my daughter when got to the reception and 

there was a women she was kind and was a receptionist we 

introduced our self and the case were attending, I wanted to find 

out if all my documents had arrived from Watford and according 

to her all documents were destroyed at that particular time I was 

shocked and I did not believe her, I started to fill the pain deep 

down it based on the fact that this case has been going for a very 

long time, then asked where the folders could be found or kept

and she gave us direction where we find them which was 

upstarts we had arrived in good time going up stairs there was a 

room unlocked once we got in this room which was not big it 

was empty we looked around ,the was a small cabinet with loads 

and loads of empty folders and I was searching for mine with 

its colours and could not find it. It was like someone had hit me 

in my stomach with a hammer, I felt sick like I was going to 

vomit. It was painful and the pain was undesirable, and I only I 

felt it.

I remembered the time it took me to file, then post this was very 

costly at one point asked the guy by the post office to help me 

pay for them.

Going to various libraries spending time there It was like 

spraying salt in an open wound, I felt like I was bleeding 

internally this wound could not heal I was broken to the core but 

did not show this.

This case went on for decades from 2015 until 2019 and this 

took a toll on me; my mental state was in a turmoil.

I have never, ever heard that evidence can be destroyed, which

meant that my hard work, my filing, spending time to organise 

those documents, labelling them and going to libraries, day in 

and day out as my internet in the house was cut due to not paying 

the bill. I had no money; just attending the last meeting, which 

was scheduled in London, meant I had to borrow. It was a 

painful and I felt naked, and deep down my spirit was crushed.

Regardless, I was advised otherwise by ACAS, who informed

me to request for this case to be delivered in public due to public 

concerns at work. But this turned out not to be all the meeting we 

privately.

At the end, all my folders with all my documents were destroyed 

before the case was finished, which I only discovered later when 

I attended to one of the meetings in London.

I could not afford anything anymore; my car was repossessed, 

which I had to watch being driven away from my home. My 

daughter had been a pillar of strength to me. I was not sleeping 

or eating very well; the fridge and the cupboard were almost

empty, and there was very little money coming in. There was so 

much going on in my mind. 

Tribunal Judiciary, where proceedings are held in open court, is 

clear from the principles set out in Court of Appeal decisions 

that a litigant who is not legally represented has the right to have 

reasonable assistance from a layperson, called a McKenzie 

Friend ("MF"). I had to ask my daughter who has been a pillar of 

strength to me. According to the mckenzie-mckenzie.com 

website

I could spend hours on the home computer. I did not have money 

and I was not working hence finding out that one can present on 

self, to assist me and take notes just to have another pair of eyes 

with me at the end it was just me and my daughter. I was very 

proud of what I did. 

The meeting was scheduled in London (2019) in one of their 

offices. I travelled from Oxford to London, and I spent the night 

at my daughter's house we tried to not forget the time we 

travelled by a Tube, she was more familiar with building and she 

used her phone to navigate around until we got there. It was a 

building tucked by the corner once we got there, we went to 

reception to register were advised to go upstairs and there was a 

lift the building, it was well bult modernised once we got 

upstairs, we sat in a room where we waited to be called this the 

time I saw the other solicitors and it was males normally its 

female's.

I was broken and a shadow of my former self. Prior to being 

called, I saw the other party with their lawyer, who had greeted 

them, and then we went into the courtroom and faced the Judge 

who started asking questions. 

My daughter is a teacher, but I felt she had put her life on hold to 

help me. She could not be a solicitor and did not know anything 

about the law she has her own kids at the end she did a lot of 

printing the numbered the documents and I was very grateful and 

always will.

My thoughts were based on my experience as a registered 

mental health nurse, not law. I had been here before and I did not 

want to travel that road again, when the meeting was finished, I 

could not remember why I was late? At that particular time I 

was still looking for a lawyer to represent me. I did not have any 

money. I had requested help from my Local MP, who responded 

and told me they didn't get involved in these cases. I had a letter 

confirming that, however, I had not brought it with me. My 

daughter was with me during that last meeting which was in 

London. I am proud of her and will always be grateful to her for 

her support.

PRELIMINARY HEARING

Preliminary hearings are done privately except that where the 

hearing involves a determination under rule 53 (1) (b) or (c), any 

part of the hearing relating to such a determination shall be in 

public (subject to rules 50 and 94) Tribunal may direct that the 

entirety of the hearing to be in public. 

These kinds of cases can be discussed in public meetings due to 

it involving public concerns at work, which did not happen as it 

was always a private meeting. 

I wanted this to finish as my whole life had been consumed by 

this case.

I was wounded; the pain was unbelievable and undesirable at 

that point. There was also Whistleblowing's Public concerns at 

work with refence number, but this was requested to be struck 

off by the Defendant even if it involved public concern at work.

The judge agreed on that matter. I did not have the strength 

anymore. I broke down in tears and I cried. My daughter asked 

for time out, which was given, and we sat briefly outside the 

courtroom. My mind had gone blank. I had forgotten about what 

I was doing only that I remembered after that I had asked for 

assistance from our local MP I did not have a lawyer I felt like I 

was drowning. It was a bitter pill to swallow. My mind shut 

down and I could not remember what I did, especially when the 

Judge asked about why I was late sending documents to court? 

Specific dates were bought into question which were mentioned 

that time, deep down it did not matter anymore She was taking 

notes and later questions were directed towards me and I could 

not remember her present meant a lot to me, but that particular 

time I felt lost at the end all my folders were destroyed they 

wanted more, evidence to say what more ?bungles/documents 

were destroyed.

This meeting was finished in a matter of few hours. I came out of 

the courtroom and in the cafeteria and had a cup of tea with my 

daughter. 

It was time to go back to Oxford.

LIVE IN (living in some one property)

Live in carers provides personal care, and assistance to clients 

including those who terminally ill

END OF LIFE/CAREPACKAGES

"Our life is a constant journey, from birth to death. The 

landscape changes, the people change, our needs change, but the 

train keeps moving. Life is the train, not the station. And what 

you're doing now isn't travelling, it's just changing countries, 

which is completely different." – Paulo Coelho.

In November 2021, I was contacted by an agency, to find out if I 

was available to go for a placement whereby there was a 

gentleman who needed assistance and was unwell. I was made to 

believe he was at home; I did not have much information about 

this care package prior to taking this job, just that the client was 

male. 

When I arrived at the train station, I found her waiting for me, 

and after greeting each other, she helped to place my luggage 

into her car. Together we left the train station, and then headed

towards this placement. However, on our way, she seemed 

confused as to where this house was. 

We got lost a few times, trying to find the house, which was 

situated by the corner, and subsequently we arrived late. The 

lady apologised for us coming late. 

Paul/ and David where brothers who lived together Paul was 

already waiting for us, as soon as we got there he organised a 

live in carer which was me once we got to the property he

opened the door, and helped me move my luggage in the house. 

These people were brothers and lived together in this big house 

which I was informed later it belonged to David/N. 

There was an informal introduction after that, and we were made 

aware that David/N was still in hospital. And will be discharged 

the next day the specific day I cannot recall 

From the entrance I could see the wide stairs leading to the

bedroom, just like the celebrity houses. Downstairs, there was a 

big lounge and an office with a printer. Documents were strewn 

everywhere, which told me this room was used as an office. The 

house had high ceilings, the rooms were spacious, the stairs were 

wide, and they led to the bedrooms. I was taken by the vast 

impression of the house, its architecture. This house was crazy 

big David/N bedroom was upstairs next to his brother Paul. 

There was also an adjoining flat, with its own entrance and 

facilities: a bathroom, a shower, the list was endless.

He showed me around the house, and as we walked around, he 

pointed to all the bedrooms, explaining as he did not open one 

room, that it belonged to David/N supposedly his brother was 

not at home who was still in hospital. The bedroom that I was

going to use had a double bed the bed was unprepared bed, I was 

given clean sheets to prepare it. This bedroom had a window 

facing the garden. When I woke up in morning, I could see 

golden-brown leaves—still dry, carpeting the floor outdoors. 

There was a bathroom with a shower and separate toilet that 

needed to be cleaned. I had a good sleep in that room, although 

the house was very cold.

I spent the entire following day, trying to clean the house; there 

were so many rooms that needed to be cleaned, but I was more 

focused on the lounge, as people were likely to assemble there 

when they attended the funeral for David/N wife who died in a

mysterious death in that house. 

Paul was never married, which I was told by one of the relatives 

when they attended, but he had adopted children who would 

come to the house to visit. 

Prior to David/N being discharged from hospital I had spoken to 

his brother to see if we could buy food for him. I'd planned to 

cook in preparation for his discharge from hospital. There was 

no food in the house. The two fridges were empty, containing 

only my food, which I had brought from Oxford.

I could cook, I had received a cooking lesson and obtained a 

certificate, but he was not keen of the idea, mentioning 

complacently, that he did not have money and his brother had. 

Far be it from me to argue; I had just started this job and I was 

not sure about a lot of things.

After a day late in the in the early hours of the morning the

ambulance brought David/N home he was discharged in 

preparation to attend to his wife burial. The plan was to have a 

live-in carer in the premises, which was the main reason I got

this job. 

David/N care was to be done downstairs this included his 

personal care his room was prepared downstairs. As mentioned 

by his brother Paul, due poor mobility, hence he desired for 

everything to be done downstairs. He also wanted to prevent 

David/N from climbing the stairs, in fear of falls. 

When he arrived, he had long dirty hair, and he appeared unkept; 

his beard was long and was still wearing hospital clothes when 

he was brought home. The minute he walked through the door he 

wanted to climb the stairs. I was not sure how he was going to be 

as from my understanding they had never had a live-in carer 

before. I believed it was going to be a challenge.

I greeted him by the corridor, and he smiled. I knew there and 

then that I had broken the ice. Nowadays, the saying "break the 

ice" is commonly tied to situations that hold a lot of tension, 

have an awkward silence, or just a lack of comfort. William 

Shakespeare was an English playwright, poet and actor. He is 

regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the 

world's pre-eminent dramatist. 

David/N was now sleeping downstairs and he seemed okay with 

that, but there was not enough bedding, and it was cold. Even a 

decent a pillow, but I had to use sofa cushions which were not 

soft. I presume they were not even comfortable, but he never 

complained. 

David/N did not talk much, but he maintained his smiles. It was 

like he knew why I was there; at times he could climb the stairs, 

at other times I would find him lying in the bedroom, where I 

was sleeping. I was not sure whether he missed his wife? Taking 

him downstairs could be difficult at times.

At times he was not sleeping properly as I could hear him from 

upstairs and I could come downstairs to check if he was fine. 

Later, another carer was introduced to take the night shift, which

would start in the mornings – about 7am, to attend to his 

personal care, and then prepare him food and the night carer 

would start the shift around 0pm.

There was a time where I had to borrow underpants from his 

brother, Paul, as he did not have any to attend to his wife's

funeral. As usual I helped to wash him and gave him breakfast. 

Knowing it was the day for his wife's funeral, cars and relatives 

arrived at his house and were driven to the church service. 

During the service he sat close to me with his hands in my jacket

as it was cold, the service was not that long, they were hymns 

that were sang at that time few speeches were done, and prayers 

and we headed to the graveyard. 

Nobody saw her body and he was not shown his wife's body, 

which I did not understand. The body was already in church 

ready to be buried. 

As I understood it, his wife's body had decayed in that house and 

then she was taken to the morgue. Her body was discovered after 

three days when she was lying on a couch upstairs next to the 

window and the sun was shining through. There was a smell in 

that room, and the cause of her death was unknown and an 

autopsy was not done due to the nature of the body. 

The service was conducted, and as soon as it was finished, it was 

time to lay his wife to her final resting place, and the hole was 

ready and what I undertook most of the family rested in the same 

grave, we all went to the graveyard and his wife was put to rest.

David/N did not show any emotion, and I wondered whether it 

was his illness, or was he not aware that his wife was being 

buried. What was going on his mind? He looked solo, and was 

not responding that much, which may have been due to the cold. 

He did not even throw sand down at his wife's coffin. However, 

it was very cold, so I put his hands in my warm jacket. 

We left the church, travelling with other relatives who were also 

heading back to his house. There were so many people who 

came to see him and there were a lot of flowers; food was 

everywhere. Mainly finger foods, like sandwiches. Everybody 

who went to church passed by the house and ate something. I 

was with him when he looked at me with a smile on his face and 

said in his own words, "Little girl, come here; there is so much 

food, eat it for free." Those words to me were like a dagger 

piercing through my heart. This took me by surprise and it hurt 

me emotionally. He was eating like a hungry child, and I wasn't 

sure if he was aware of his surroundings at that time. 

Was he wondering why there were so many people around him?

What about the cards, flowers, food, etc.? But he never asked. I 

looked at him and I broke down. I walked with him briefly, and 

at that time, my heart was heavy. "My heart carries the burden of 

a thousand sorrows; in the depth of my heavy heart, lies an ocean 

of pain." As William Shakespeare depicted it, I felt it. The world 

can be cruel at times.

Even so, I managed to talk to the relatives one by one, raising 

my concerns of what was going on. I was given the authority to 

contact relevant people who oversaw his finances; and 

henceforth, there was 'Meals on Wheels' food brought to the 

house. I was not obligated to cook, but simply stay with him,

which was challenging during the night. 

SOCIAL WORKERS FROM MAIDENHEAD

I wrote an email to the Windsor Social Workers in Maidenhead 

and everyone who is involved in his care. Some of social 

services came to visit and at times it appeared like it was a slow 

train moving.

There was a time when David/N requested to use the toilet. 

Mostly I could escort him to make sure he was safe, but there 

was an incident whereby he went to the toilet and would not 

come out. I called him on several occasions, but he was not 

responding. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer; 

when I tried to open the toilet door it was locked from inside. I 

tried to see him through the outside window, but the window was 

closed. The toilet door had a hinge from the inside and he had

used that to obstruct the door.

I called his brother Paul for assistance, but he did not answer. I 

called the Agency for assistance, but I was not getting anywhere. 

Then, they told me to ring the police, who came. 

The police called but they received no response – so they

resolved to break the window. Once the window was broken, we 

found him sitting on the toilet seat, and the commotion did not 

seem to faze him; we asked him gently to come out of the toilet 

where he was, and he did so, and I walked with him back to his 

room. It appeared to him like nothing has happened at all. There 

were times he would call me by his wife's name. 

His health was spiraling downwards, and he was having a lot of 

falls. Some point he fell on the floor, and I had to call the 

ambulance. Sometimes, ambulances can make you wait lengthy 

periods, and if they believe it is not an emergency and they tend 

to ask so many questions before they come. 

This can be difficult, especially when you are on your own,

when they arrived, they took his vital signs. The conclusion he 

was very sick, advised me to let him stay in bed. 

David/N had developed a nasty cough during the time when I 

was there. He had attended his wife funeral and was not dressed 

appropriately. I called his GP who claimed she had previously 

prescribed him with antibiotics and these pills were not picked 

up from their local pharmacy. This was heartbreaking, and this 

time I encouraged the brother to go and pick theses pills up from 

the pharmacy. I was made to believe the cold had got into his 

lungs –for a brief period, the cough subsided, but he began to 

cough badly once again.

I called an ambulance after he was on the floor and could not get 

up. They attended to him and made the decision to take him to 

hospital. I decided to go with him as his brother had refused. It 

was extremely late when he was admitted into hospital, but I 

stayed by his bedside the whole night, making sure he was 

comfortable. He looked so frail. There was a cup of tea left by 

his bedside, which had gone cold. He gave me a glance and 

smiled, presumably he recognised me I requested for another 

cup, which I managed to help drink he drank, and it was like it 

was going to be my last time to see him, but I had intentions of 

going back to visit him again then I went back home.

When I left the hospital in the early hours of the morning called for a taxi

costed me £20 collected my belonging and David took me to the 

train station, and I went to Oxford. A few days later I had a 

strong desire to visit him again, however, when I called one of 

his relatives, I was informed that he had passed away. I had to 

find the strength to move on.

Nobody wants to talk about dying, but it is inevitable. Whether 

one is old or young, it's a subject which is not easy to talk about, 

especially when it's family. For example, I never imagined my 

own mother not being with us today. People die, but when it 

reaches your doorstep, you are confronted with the reality of 

death, the aftermath and grief. 

END OF LIFE CAREPACKAGE

August 2019

I travelled by train from Oxford and I was picked up from the 

train station by one of his daughters, who then drove me to the 

house, managed to give me a lift from the train station to their 

home as our agreement, this job was booked for two weeks when 

I arrived to the train station the daughter was already waiting for 

me as our agreements and helped me to carry my luggage to her 

car and we were going to their home. On our way she informed

me that her father used to work for NHS, so I had thought we 

were going to have a lot of discussion about how he found the 

NHS in general. She also mentioned about her father being an 

architect and had designed his own house.

On arrival to this house from the entrance leading to the kitchen 

which had high ceiling with light, it was very spacious with 

wonderful kitchen cupboards this house was huge. There was an 

indoor lift which could take you upstairs; it was an immaculate, 

three-storey house and very modern throughout. This house 

reminded me of one of the houses I worked at when I was in 

Greece, which also had three storeys. The entrance had a wide 

door and I could see stairs leading to the bedrooms there was 

also a built indoor lift which could take you upstairs, his wife 

lived upstairs and the other relatives as well his wife slept 

upstairs in their bedroom and the other relatives as well had their 

rooms upstairs.

There were few people there and there and the other person was 

his wife as I was told later. These people were gathered around 

him I learned later they were his relative who were living with 

them. 

This gentleman has been sick for a while there were other carers 

who were there before me and he now he was nursed under the 

palliative care team.

I was sleeping upstairs and was given a bedroom with a shower 

and toilet; outside I could see the massive garden which was kept 

tidy and a fish pond.

One night he became unwell and a very poor sleep he tried to tell 

me something but could not speak that much and had taken all 

his pills 

Macmillan, I was told, visited regularly but I only saw them the 

day I was leaving as I only stayed few days was given a week

salary Then I had to return to Oxford.

Nobody want to talk about dying but it's inevitable whether one 

is old or young, it's just a subject which is not easy to talk about 

especially when its family. I never imagined my own mother not 

being with us, I knew people die but when it reaches you 

doorstep that when pennies drop that there is thing called death.

Other times, it may feel rewarding and bring you closer to the 

person you are caring for. During this time there will be no right 

or wrong way to feel.

LONDON

Living in the United Kingdom has its own challenges, which I 

faced when I arrived in England in 1998 from South Africa.

When I got to Heathrow Airport there where so many people 

who were standing in queue and this was my second time to fly 

in an Aeroplane, when the plane landed people were walking 

very fast down the corridor others were chatting and I just 

followed the queue then people starting to stand in a line got 

their passports out by the broader check in so did I when I 

reached to this gentlemen who was dressed in a black suit and 

was not friendly at all asked me to wait. I did not worry that 

much as I had already spoken to my sister the previous day. 

He took me to a room which was very small with two chairs and 

a small table in the middle with little ventilation. He had so 

many questions. I was puzzled and wondering what was 

happening? I was so worried. I didn't have any money and I had 

no idea what was going to happen to me.

In our culture (black culture) you are not supposed to give direct 

eye contact if you do you have no respect and they will 

questions regarding your parents although I was not a child any 

more but these are my values. I have realised that in Europe are 

you are allowed to give direct eye contact with people I was lost 

as so many were asked questions I was tired, I just off a plane 

were I had flown so many hours I got really confused and I was 

not sure what was going to happen, my impression by just 

looking at me I thought that would have it now for this 

gentleman to mention about being sent back to South Africa was 

a shock it became extremely hard. He kept telling me that I 

would return to South Africa as soon as the next flight was 

available. I sat there for a lengthy period of time.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks; my mind was in chaos; my 

thoughts were dwelling on my children I left back home I felt 

alone.

When this happened my younger sister who came to meet me 

had already gone as she could not wait any longer. I was getting 

tired and hungry sitting in that small room and had not eaten 

anything on the plane as I was not hungry at that time. Was I 

going to remain or be sent back? The very same gentleman who

had been asking me questions, finally came back carrying 

documents; the same documents he was writing on before he left 

the room. By an unexpected turn of events, he handed me some 

of those documents, and politely told me that it was okay to 

leave. I did not dare to ask any questions. I managed to thank 

him and quickly exited the room. 

Soon after, I reclaimed my suitcase. I did not have much 

luggage, but I was exhausted, nor did I have much directions my 

sister had already left, and I was on my own. When I came out it 

was already dark. There were shiny black taxis which were 

parked outside I entered one of them and gave the taxi driver the 

address of my younger sister, who was not outside anymore

I suppose I thought I might get a job quickly and pay my way 

around like support myself, this includes my children who were 

already in a boarding school how will I manage this? I did not 

have any money or savings under my name as I had just bought a 

ticket to come to England. I can work hard and have been a 

breadwinner for a while I had thought I might get a job quickly 

and pay my way around.

I knew my younger sister was waiting for me the other end once 

I got the check point my passport was taken out I was taken to I 

had a difficult experience with border control; when I had 

travelled to Greece for work, my documents were carried by this 

lady who got me that job and I could not recall having that kind 

of experience by the boarder. When I came to United Kingdom, I 

wanted to make a better life for my children who I had left back 

in South Africa; this was a difficult situation and I realised how 

hard this was going to be. 

But after being asked so many questions, e.g. Have you got a 

job? Whay have you come to the UK? I was told that I would be 

sent home once the next flight was available. That came as a 

shock to me; after all, my younger sister who had come to the 

airport to meet me had never mentioned any this like this, or 

informed me that I might be asked a lot of questions. I did not 

have a criminal record from my collection none. his words that 

stuck in mind till today after this gentleman was wearing black 

suit with a tie he was not smiling and I could not look at him in 

fear, he was asking fast I could hear his foot steps before he 

entered the room which was closed like he was matching he 

made me aware that he was there and I felt intimidated could be 

the airport procedure and I would never know.

We drove through London, but I could not see much. It was a bit

cold, but it did not matter. As the weeks went by, I remembered 

that night. Travelling around the Metropolitan city was like 

learning a new language. I had help from my sister, who had 

lived in London for several years. Travelling by bus the tube, I 

knew I had to familiarise myself with the surroundings as there 

would be a time when I'd have to travel on my own.

We were booked by and agency, and workers could start their

cleaning early in the morning, until late at night. This carried on 

for a while. Most of the jobs were in the city centre.

I managed to secure a job as a housekeeper in the city of 

London. I worked night shift only. This place was for females 

only, which had separate bedrooms and a small wardrobe, 

showers and a kitchen.

I had another job in the city centre where I was working as a 

waitress, so now I had two jobs to go to: housekeeping and 

waitressing.

I would get an underground lucky it was not far where I lived 

however at times my body would be so tired, But I was able to 

go to another job which I did during the day 

I dropped plates. As I tried to catch them, they fell on my leg 

instead. I was cut, bleeding, and embarrassed, but I carried on 

regardless. 

As a routine, I would return to my flat and freshen up for the 

night shift. There were times when I was cleaning hotels; I used 

to wake up in the morning to cook, bathe, and raise money, but it 

was not enough. At the very least I was working.

I did not know London at all, but I had to learn fast. I needed to 

use public transport the tube, and at times I would sleep on the 

tube before I got to where I arrived at my destination. But it was 

worth it that time. Knowing that during the day I was going to 

the city centre to clean tables and save tea. I knew that I had 

another job during the night. This hostel was for females only 

and all of them were Asylum Seekers who were waiting for 

Home Office approval. These ladies who were living there at 

time, went out, returning very late over the weekend; some of 

them would go somewhere and tendered to come back at 

different times. I used to take this opportunity to find a corner 

and sleep. 

I did not have any savings but by doing double jobs I was able to 

pay for my children's schooling in Zimbabwe. 

I was not used to travelling by tube, and when I got off there was 

a there was a big sign written in bold letters: Royal London 

Hospital 

This is one of the biggest Hospital in England. I decided to try 

and get a job there. I knocked on the door, and a gentleman 

answered. I asked if he could help me as I looked for a job. He 

gazed at me, then laughed at me, saying, "They don't do this 

here."

I was sure he was referring to me, knocking the door and looking 

for a job. He could not believe that one can just call and 'ask for 

a job', but I was not prepared to give up. 

He directed me to the right place. I was given forms to fill in, 

and everything quickly changed. I could not even imagine 

working in such a big hospital, but I ended up working there. 

The hiring process was as follows:

Within two months I got a letter confirming my interview. There 

were two people conducting the interview: the manager of the 

ward and a charge nurse. 

Within a month I got a job, so I picked up my uniforms, ready to 

start. This time I was leaving in one of the flats in 

Whitechapel—now I had proper job. 

Jobwise, I knew basics. I had learned the basics from a hospital 

in Zimbabwe. It was Mpilo Hospital, specifically, and it was the 

largest hospital in Bulawayo; it was also the second largest 

in Zimbabwe after Parirenyatwa Hospital. The hospital's name, 'Mpilo' means 'life' in the native Ndebele language.

Mpilo has a School of Nursing as well as a School of Midwifery, 

both of which are located within the hospital campus Reacher 

Reveal. 

This is where I did my basic care training. This is where I saw a 

dead body for the first time; it was a woman.

Walking by, I thought she was asleep. As it turned out, she had 

passed away. She looked so peaceful, dribbling slightly from her 

mouth. When I touched her, she was still warm. I stood there, 

staring at her, hoping she was going to move, but she never did. 

She was gone. 

I held the position of Auxiliary Nurse at that time. In Zimbabwe, 

a qualified nurse's uniform was ironed to the best standards. 

There, I was taught how to read blood pressure, temperature, 

how to clean the sluice rooms as well as make the beds. I learned 

a lot during that time. Little did I know that those skills I had 

learned would be useful in future years.

So, when I got this job in the Royal London Hospital it was not 

difficult, I managed to adapt, but I knew, once again, I had to 

learn very quickly.

I had a nice coworker in Royal London Hospital who guided me 

through a lot and encouraged me to do my National Vocabulary 

Qualifications. She had also done this to become a qualified 

registered nurse. A National Vocabulary Qualification (NVQ) 

was also one of the routes you could take, should you wish to 

become a nurse but lack a good education. I did not have the 

benefit of attending a secondary education.

In my life I had never dreamt of being a qualified nurse, but I am 

ambitious and I am focus driven and one day I will get there. I 

promised myself to do a lot of training, and studying and to try 

and improve myself. I was happy with my job—yes, after my 

position as a hotel cleaner, and as a waitress, then a qualified 

nurse, now I had become an author.

In my previous job I'd broken plates unintentionally due to my 

fatigue. I have seen this in Greece during their celebrations 

where they party, sing, then reak plates ( see pictures taken there 

during that time).

https://postimg.cc/7bWsnGGp

https://postimg.cc/PCmSHS3j

I'd done housekeeping, worked in the city of London at night, 

looking after the female residents and finding, in between 

pockets of time, a corner to sleep on a good night, further 

sleeping on the train when I was tired. This was my life. 

I met with people from different backgrounds; I learned very 

quickly, and a nice female coworker showed me many basics 

e.g. blood pressure, urine deep stick, preparing clients to get 

ready to go to surgery, and making sure everything has been 

done, and normally when one is going for an operation, they are 

mostly nil by mouth (NBM). I was keen on progressing further, 

and I did, working in the musculoskeletal ward. This ward was

for patients who were suffering from road incidents, hence this 

ward was called the Emasculatory Ward.

During my time at the ward, there was an incident that stuck in 

my mind. A gentlemen was brought into hospital by helicopter, 

which the hospital used as a means of transport in emergency 

situations. The helicopter could land on top of the hospital roof. 

His notes revealed he had had a motorbike accident that caused 

him to have a broken pelvis. He was seen by the nurses and 

doctors and prescribed medication including Morphine to numb 

his pain. 

However, all he could say was, "I cannot feel my legs." He was 

crying and I could see the pain in eyes, especially when they 

mentioned he was not going to be able to walk again.

"Your emotions are a vital part of everything you think, every 

decision you make, and everything you do." 

I loved motorbikes, although I did not have one. It was one of 

my wishes, including riding on a horse back. Once I saw the 

damage that motorbikes did to people, I no longer wished to 

have one. The look in his eyes were filled with sorrow and pain

and I could almost feel his anguish. 

I could tell by the look in his eyes which were full of tears, and I 

sympathized with him then, I could imagine about his challenges 

in future. All what I could do was give him reassurance.

I moved to the West Midlands, where I found the 

accommodation was cheaper in comparison to London, which

quite expensive. Then I moved on to Oxford where I currently 

reside. 

The Mental Health Act (1983) is the main piece of legislation 

in the United Kingdom that covers the assessment, treatment, 

and rights of people with a mental health disorder. There are 

some key points covered by this act and being detained under 

this Act it is also known as being (Sectioning): under this Act 

Mental health legislation. https: //wwww.nhs.uk

Section 3 of the Mental Health Act (1983) is commonly referred 

to as a treatment order. It allows for the detention of patients for 

treatment in a hospital based on certain criteria and conditions 

being met. An application for mission for treatment may met in 

respect of a patient on the grounds of that he is suffering from 

mental disorder or nature or degree which makes it appropriate 

for him to receive medical treatment in hospital.

www.mind.org.uk

Broadmoor is a specialist psychiatric hospital which provides 

assessment, treatment, and care in conditions of high security for 

men aged 18 and above from London and the South of England. 

It's one of three high secure psychiatric hospitals in England and 

Wales and treats people with mental illness and personality 

disorders who represent a high degree of harm to themselves or 

others. This is one of the hospitals I was keen on applying for a 

job as it's closer to Oxford.

Forensic is a hospital that provides mental health services to 

people who have been accused of conviction of crime. Forensic 

hospital patients are typically considered to be to be danger to 

themselves or others and are placed in more secure unit within 

the hospital and are subject to restrictions than other clients.

Multidisciplinary teams consist of various professionals 

working together to provide comprehensive care for patients 

with complex health needs.

Committee meeting a place where people can come together to 

exchange ideas and information grand committee groups really 

open just affect plans and make changes and keep them or 

responsible as is part of the process so they can feel their effort 

will matter. In hospital there is normally a room allocate for this, 

and its done more frequently this is where clients/ patients 

progression is discussed Most of the patient in the psychiatric 

ward are detained patients under the Mental Health Act (2003) 

the same as the one I previously worked 

Section 3 allows for a person to be admitted to hospital for 

treatment if their mental disorder is nature and/or degree that 

requires treatment in hospital 

When working with patients there is a handover period to the 

professionals this practice is the same everywhere regardless of 

whether it is a hospital or in a residential, dwellings this period 

is intense due to the complicity of the care delivered to clients 

well-being. 

In hospitals a handover, is done by qualified nurse all clinicians 

attend these meetings in the morning, however nurses and 

healthcare support workers work a shift work all professional 

will gather around the table and listen to what would have 

happened during that shift it could be during the day or night. If 

there was a major an incident these meetings can be done 

randomly to find the trigger, there is no blame culture in the 

health services. 

In residential you find a suitable place to discuss the notes, 

bearing in mind the confidentiality which plays a major role in 

care.

https://postimg.cc/DJDrLGj6

The c-word should be avoided at all costs. Not only that being a 

professional, walk with pride and be proud to be in a position 

you are in not to abuse your position. This is one of the most 

disliked and inappropriate words around extremely offensive

word for a woman's sex organs. (c**t) A vulgar slang word for a 

woman's genitals or a person you dislike, is a contender for most 

offensive word in English.

The c-word should be avoided at all costs. Not only that being a 

professional you need to follow protocols/polices for that 

department and give respect to the people you are looking after, 

as well and walk with pride. 

In a forensic hospital, clients/patients can be given gradual 

access to the community leave when a team meeting has been 

done by professions who are involved in the patients care. 

This leave is based on clear evidence that the client has 

progressed and will not cause any harm to the public or 

themselves.

Multidisciplinary teams consist of various professionals 

working together to provide comprehensive care for patients 

with complex health needs.

Committee meeting, is a place where people can come together 

to exchange ideas and information. Grand committee groups 

open to put plans into effect and make changes, keeping certain 

persons responsible as part of the process so they can feel 

included. In hospital there is normally a allocated room for 

these and meeting are held more frequently where a client's/ 

patient's progression is discussed.

Most of the patients in the psychiatric ward are detained patients 

under the Mental Health Act (2003). 

The Mental Health Act (1983)

Those considered under the Mental Health Act (2007), are adults 

who have been detained, who are considered more at risk due to 

their age, if they have a physical or learning disability, if they 

have a long-term health condition and/or if they're frail, or if 

they are considered as lacking the capacity to make decisions. 

These adults are known as having safeguarding needs and are 

sadly at a higher risk of harm due to these.

On this note these clients are protected by law and should be free 

from abuse. This was done by a professional this document 

proves to what really happened.

The Mental Health Act (1983) is the main piece of legislation in 

the United Kingdom that covers the assessment, treatment, and 

rights of people with a mental health disorder. There are some 

key points covered by this act (Sectioning): Being detained 

under the Mental Health Act is also known as being "sectioned."

Section 3 of the Mental Health Act (1983) is commonly referred 

to as a treatment order. It allows for the detention of patient for 

treatment in a hospital based on certain criteria and conditions 

being met an application for mission for treatment may met in 

respect of a patient on the grounds of that he is suffering from 

mental disorder or nature or degree which makes it appropriate 

for him to receive medical treatment in hospital.

Restricted patients are mentally disordered offenders who are 

detained in hospital for treatment and who are subject to special 

controls by the Justice Secretary due to the level of risk they 

pose. These controls include permission for community leave,

transfer to another hospital, discharge and recall to hospital. The 

Mental Health Casework Section takes these decisions on behalf 

of the Justice Secretary. I am sure anyone who works in the 

mental health settings is familiar with this.

Responsible for your care. The clients where I was working were 

all under some restrictions of the Mental Health Act. but mainly 

it was the self-harmers/ who were deliberately inflicting injuries 

to one body by cutting or inserting a sharp object to one self.

https://postimg.cc/ZBKmpBBW

Police were sent to my house during the night, and I felt 

intimidated I was on my own.

When a patient is being downgraded and sworn at this is another 

part of bullying and abusing your powers and degrading another 

human calling some one mother names, it brings the nursing 

field down. 

(This was unspoken) just the look during hand over people eyes 

spoke volumes and after handover there was so much disbelieve 

the ward was in shock, I looked at women at I felt her pain I had 

my keys, and I was going to go home, and she could not This 

word brought waves to everyone including me it was shock 

beyond me.