Assassins, A Bathhouse, and My Continued Suffering

At this point, I had accepted a simple truth:

My life was no longer mine.

One moment, I was just a simple convenience store worker. Now, I was:

✅ Engaged to a demon princess.

✅ Fighting for my life daily.

✅ Being trained by literal monsters.

✅ The target of assassins (plural).

And today, it got even worse.

A Relaxing Bath? Yeah, Right.

After surviving yesterday's murder training session, I was rewarded with…

A trip to the royal bathhouse.

Which sounded great at first.

Big, fancy hot springs? Free food? No exploding dummies? Sign me up.

But I should've known better.

Assassin Attack #2: Now With More Soap

I was just about to step into the steaming hot water, when suddenly—

A masked assassin burst through the ceiling, katana in hand.

"PREPARE TO DIE, FAKE HERO!"

Do you know how hard it is to dodge an assassin while holding only a bar of soap?

Very.

I screamed, slipped on the wet floor, and accidentally launched the soap at the assassin's face.

It hit him directly in the eye.

"GAH! SOAP?!" he shrieked, clutching his face.

He stumbled backward… and slipped.

His head smacked against the bathhouse floor with a loud thunk.

Silence.

The assassin twitched, then passed out.

Did… did I just win?

The demon guards stormed in seconds later.

Lilith appeared behind them, looking concerned. "Kazuki! Are you—"

She paused. Her eyes darted from me, standing there in nothing but a towel, to the unconscious assassin.

Then she smiled.

"My love, you truly are an unpredictable warrior."

Ryuu, who had just arrived, facepalmed. "Oh, come on. He won with a bar of SOAP."

Lilith nodded. "Yes. And it was magnificent."

I wanted to crawl into the hot spring and never come out.

Demon Nobles and More Nonsense

After the bathhouse incident (which I'm trying very hard to forget), I was summoned to a meeting with the Demon Nobles.

They wanted to discuss the upcoming wedding.

Yes. The wedding.

The one I never agreed to.

I sat at a massive table, surrounded by powerful demons with fancy outfits and serious faces.

One of them, an old demon with a ridiculous mustache, cleared his throat.

"So, Kazuki-sama. How many heirs do you plan to have with our princess?"

I CHOKED ON MY TEA.

Lilith, meanwhile, looked completely unfazed. "Hmm. At least five, I think."

I turned to her in horror. "F-FIVE?!"

She smiled. "Well, six if we have the time."

I died inside.

Ryuu, sitting next to me, was sobbing into his hands. "Why am I still here…"

The nobles nodded approvingly. "Ah, strong heirs will be needed for the future of the kingdom."

I raised a hand. "H-Hold on! We're not even married yet!"

Lilith patted my arm. "Oh, my love, you're so shy."

I wasn't shy. I was having a breakdown.

And then, as if my suffering wasn't enough, another noble spoke.

"Oh, yes. That reminds me. The wedding is in three months."

Silence.

I froze.

Ryuu choked on his drink.

Lilith smirked.

"Wonderful."