Chapter Twenty Eight - What Muggle Artefact?

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to the proverbial Duchess of Magic, JK Rowling, Scholastic, Bloomsbury, Warner Bros and some other high falutin' companies. No matter how much I whine about not owning anything related to the HP universe, other than a few fanfic plots, I do not profess to own - and would never dream of making any money off - JKR's wonderful world... Damn it!

A/N1: Alrighty. This is the chapter where all those folks guessing what the research Harry was involved in, you get to learn how close you were. And, yes, I did write it that way to give you all a 'fun game' of figuring it all out, contrary to what others thought. I was actually surprised how close many of you came in what reviews I skimmed through. Kudos, for that. But, I think there was an item or two you all missed and which I included, all the same. :)

A/N2: And, yes, I've made this posting event a double. Two chapters! I wanted to get the entire Wizengamot session out of the way before moving on to the next evolution of the story.

Chapter Twenty Eight - What Muggle Artefact?

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

At just after 5.00am, normal time, Lord Franklin 'Frank' Longbottom and Lady Alice Longbottom walked out of the time dilation chamber back into the normal world. As expected, they were greeted by Sirius. He was grinning his head off at the two of them.

Both grinned back in pleasure.

As soon as they were both out he embraced the pair of them in a 'group hug'.

"Merlin; but, you two are a sight for sore eyes!" he declared.

The change in the two of them since he saw both was quite startling. Gone, was the frail, elderly-appearing state he last saw of them. Both now appeared on a par with him.

There were still strong hints of the ravages of their time while 'ill'. But, for the most part, it was only a trace; and mainly showed as a somewhat haunted look in their eyes. If anything, they appeared even more healthy than he did himself.

Frank stood at about five foot eleven and roughly on par with Sirius. Due to the training inside the chamber he was quite fit and had what was known as a runner's physique. His hair, which was balding, thin and cropped right back when he went in, was now back to full and healthy, had a healthy shine and was down almost to his shoulders.

Alice, stood proud in her five foot three (and one-quarter inches! Never forget that!) frame. Her hair was oddly streaked blonde and grey; the blonde from before the curse, to the grey from afterwards. She, too, appeared quite fit and toned.

Looking them both over, Sirius asked, "How, in Merlin's name, did you two gain a suntan while in there?"

"Sunlamps," said Frank. "It's supposed to be a muggle concept. You lie on this muggle bed thing for half an hour―"

"Frank," Alice firmly said, cutting him off. "There will be time to discuss everything we went through in there, later."

Eyes twinkling while grinning at Sirius, Frank said, "I felt like a roast being cooked in an oven on a low heat."

Herself looking to Sirius, Alice asked, "Harry's last letter to us arrived four days ago. What's happened since then?"

"Alice, he sent it in only ten hours ago," smiled Sirius. "For the last six, at least, everyone's been sleeping.

"However..." he grinned at them both and pulled from his pocket two wands.

In shocked glee both accepted them. Both immediately felt the warmth as the wands re-bonded with them.

"How?" asked Alice.

"Harry had his house elf sneak into Longbottom Hall about an hour ago and recover them for you," he explained. "Two fakes have been left in their place."

"Time for you to go, wizards," a goblin suddenly said. "Time is money and you're wasting mine." He was offering them a portkey.

Sirius gave a nod back, accepted the portkey and turned back to the Longbottoms. "Right. Take hold."

As they did so, he turned to the medi-staff that had gone into the time dilation with the Longbottoms and gratefully said, "Thank you."

As they nodded and smiled back, with the Longbottoms also holding the portkey, he was about to activate it when the goblin barked, "Activate!"

And they were gone in a flash of goblin portkey magic.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

In the Tonkses' home, Ted was sitting in his favourite chair while trying to go through his pocket-sized carded prompt notes for the trial, later that morning. They were a matched pair with Harry's.

He had one of the lounge curtains open to watch for the tell-take flash of the goblin portkey, which would arrive just outside the front gate only a hundred feet away.

He wasn't looking out the window when it happened, but the flash of light caught his eye and he immediately looked out.

Seeing the three start to walk up the front path to the front door, he was quickly slipping the cards into the inside breast pocket of his robes as he shot out of his chair to stride quietly to the front door.

Only he and Andi were home, at the time, but he still didn't want her to wake, fearful of any unusual noises coming from the main part of the house.

By the time he opened the front door the three were just walking up the front steps onto the porch.

"Come in and be quiet for a few minutes, would you?" he quietly asked. "I'll just go wake Andi."

"Ted, there's no need," said Sirius.

"Yes, there is," he disagreed. "Besides, she has a 6.00am start today, anyway. She wants to get a couple hours in at the hospital before she has to go to the Ministry for the Meeting of the Wizengamot."

As Sirius led the Longbottoms in, Ted went to the master bedroom.

Less than ten minutes later, while the Longbottoms and Sirius were waiting quietly on the lounge and chairs, he was leading a dressing-gowned Andi into the lounge.

Andi took one look at them, while the three were rising to greet their temporary hostess, and exclaimed, "Morgana's saggy tits!"

Frank laughed while Alice simply smirked back. She quietly said, "Good morning, Andromeda."

Sirius was grinning his head off.

Andi suddenly whipped her wand out and was casting as she came forward. However, none of the casts were offensive in nature. She was firing off detection charms like they were going out of fashion.

"Andi!" exclaimed Ted.

"Shoosh!" she snapped, during a pause in her casting.

Going first to Frank she walked around him while still casting. When she seemed satisfied she spun about and turned her wand on Alice. A long few seconds later, she stepped back and said, "Sweet Merlin! It is you; it is you both!"

"Happy?" asked Frank, a little wryly.

"How?!" she barked in shock.

"Someone figured it out and set the snitch flying," replied Sirius, grinning. "Wanna guess who?"

Andi stood there, scowling, still quite shocked, but thought it through. Then her eyes widened and she looked in new shock at Sirius.

"Harry?!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

He laughed, "Right in one!"

After Andi had calmed down again, she called their house elf to make tea for them all. Then it set about preparing breakfast.

While they were talking and waiting, Ted and Sirius took turns telling both the Longbottoms and Andi what had been going on of late. Most of it was for Andi's benefit as Frank, with Alice's added commentary, told them about Harry's letters to them.

"It's clear to us why he said he was supposed to go into Slytherin," said Frank. "But, we can also tell he would have done brilliantly in any of the four houses.

"He has the cunning of a Slytherin, the smarts of a Ravenclaw, the loyalty of a Hufflepuff and the quaffles of a Gryffindor. He's the perfect Hogwarts student."

While Ted and Sirius snorted in amusement at his description of Harry's Gryffindor traits, Alice smacked him on the arm. "Be polite," she mock-scolded him.

Andi was still coming to terms with this latest revelation.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

After breakfast and Andi left for work with pleading from all four of the others she not tell a soul about the Longbottoms just yet - she wouldn't - Ted and Sirius talked about a slight change they wanted to make to their plans.

"I think we should bring Madam Bones in on this," said Ted.

"And I agree," said Sirius.

Frank nodded and said, "Harry's last letter to us said he'd hinted to the point of obviousness that we'd been cured and we'd put in an appearance at the Wizengamot before lunch." He then chuckled and said, "He also said that first thing in the morning was before lunch, so he hadn't misled her."

That had even Ted chuckling as Sirius laughed.

'The question then becomes," said a grinning Alice, "When?"

Ted quickly checked the time on the wind-up kitchen clock and said, "She's normally in the office almost right on 8.00am. As today is a meeting of the Wizengamot, with a trial right before, I'm guessing she'll be in at about 7.00am."

"Which means she'll rise at about 6.00am," nodded Sirius. Checking the time, himself, he added, "In about... fifteen minutes."

"What time is Harry likely to get up?" asked Alice.

"He's an early riser," replied Sirius. "Him and his house elf have a sort of fake competition about who's going to be first down to the kitchen to cook breakfast... he's a brilliant cook, by the way... but, of course, the elf always beats him."

"He cooks, too?" asked a surprised Alice.

"He didn't write to you about that?" grinned Sirius. "He doesn't cook, Ali; he turns food into art!"

"He's very good, Alice," said Ted. "It's a privilege to be invited to dine when he's the chef."

"Is there anything this young man can't do?" asked Frank.

"Apparently, not if he sets his mind to it, no," replied a very proud and still grinning Sirius. Suddenly, he said, "Actually, thinking of the time, he's probably up."

Sirius suddenly whipped his mirror out of his pocket and said to it, "Prongslet!"

While the other three watched on, the mirror blurred for a few moments before it cleared with Harry's face appearing. Of course, for the Longbottoms, this was the first time they'd seen the young man. No one had thought to send in photographs with the Longbottoms when they went into the chamber.

"Mornin'!" Harry drawled. He appeared quite awake.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

This morning, Harry had donned his invisibility cloak to try and sneak down to the kitchen. But, before he even managed to pass the end of the kitchen counter, Dobby called, "Good morning, Master Harry!" He had his back to Harry, at the time.

"Damn it!"

Dobby turned with a grin on his face; but, on turning around, couldn't see his master at all.

"Master Harry?" he asked, confused.

He knew his master was 'right there' but couldn't see him or even sense him. He just knew.

Suddenly, with a swish of his cloak, his master appeared, scowling back.

"Powerful magics, Master Harry!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah," his master moped, turning around and walking back out.

He knew his master wasn't unhappy or angry with him - house elves knew these things - but it amused his master and was a little fun for him too, so Dobby wouldn't complain.

However, it would be a cold day in the Halls of the Dishonoured before his master ever caught him out.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

Harry had only just returned upstairs with the intention of taking his morning shower, when his mirror buzzed.

'Of course," he muttered. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Picking it up he quietly said, "Padfoot." And the mirror cleared.

"Mornin'," he drawled, trying to act cool.

"Good morning, sleepy-head!" his godfather chirpily greeted him.

Harry gave a snort and said, "You know, Padfoot; this will probably be the only day you'll ever get up before me. So, yuck it up while you can."

Sirius laughed and asked, "Dobby beat you to the kitchen again?"

"Sawn-off little gremlin!" he mock-scowled.

As Sirius laughed Harry could also hear other laughter in the background.

"Alright, Padfoot," he said. "Enough of the niceties. Let me see them."

"What?" mock-exclaimed Sirius. "Your dear, sweet godfather not good enough for you any more?"

That was as far as he got before the mirror took a dizzying quick spin.

All Harry heard for a moment was Sirius exclaiming, "Hey!"

The mirror had clearly been snatched out of his hand.

Then he saw the two faces he expected to see, side-by-side. But the changes were startling. Both were grinning in happiness.

"Lord Potter," said Frank. "It's so very good to see the architect behind our recovery."

"Oh, pshaw!" he blushed. "I just figured it out. Sirius and Ted were the real architects. And it's Harry, to you two."

"Not for this," said Frank. His face suddenly turned serious, though his eyes were still twinkling in amusement. "Lord Potter, the Noble and Most Ancient House of Longbottom is in your debt. What is in our power to grant you, is yours."

Harry stared back for a moment in shock. Then he replied, "Lord Longbottom, the Noble and Most Ancient House of Longbottom may consider its debt expunged if... it raises its Heir to be an outstanding young man and a credit to his House. As I have said, so must it be, so let it be written."

"So let it be written," said both Frank and Alice.

Frank immediately said, "We meant much more than that, Harry."

Harry shook his head and said, "There is to be no debt, Frank. I don't want you or your House beholden to me or the House of Potter in any regards. We need to be equals, with our own selves being so, for the Potter-Longbottom Alliance to be strong again."

"Very wise, Harry," said Alice.

Harry just shrugged.

Harry heard what sounded like Ted say something to the two before both looked back at him through the mirror.

"There's been a change in plans for this morning's schedule," said Frank. "We're bringing Amelia Bones into the information loop. We want her to know what's going on before it happens."

"Thought you might," he replied. "That's why I gave her all those clues yesterday afternoon. It wouldn't be fair to her, after all she's done for me, to hit her with this... cold."

"And we agree," Frank replied. "We're just waiting for when we think she's going to be up before flooing her - well, Ted's flooing her."

Harry checked his bedside clock and thought a moment.

Muttering out loud, he said, "It's a Wizengamot day... the trial starts at 8.00am... she'll most likely want to be in the office about an hour early... so, I'd guess she'd be rising about 6.00am and fixing to floo to her office at about six-thirty, quarter-to?"

Frank gave a snort of amusement and said, "Pretty much spot on. Do you want to be here for this?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "No. It's fine. I don't want to give my auror-shadows any indication you're up and awake. Have Sirius mirror-call me when I can meet you at the Ministry."

There were more voices off to the side at the other end and Frank said, "Ted will be coming by to pick you up at seven-fifteen. We'll arrange a rendezvous with him before then."

"Sounds like a plan!" he declared. "I'll see you then."

More murmuring, then Frank said, "Alice and I are very much looking forward to it. Mirror off."

Harry quietly gave a huff of amusement before he lobbed the mirror onto his bed and quickly stripped to take his shower.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

Breakfast started off tense for Wendell and Monica, who both knew what sort of day it was going to be for the two teens. However, when they saw that Harry was quite stress-free and even a little excited about what the day would bring they, too, relaxed.

"Just remember, Harry, the basis of the Fog of War," said Wendell. "You do not know what your enemy is up to. You only have a guess, irrespective of how accurate it may be. And no plan survives first contact with the enemy."

"Wow, Wendell," he said. "I'm not going to war!" Then he thought a moment and said, "Actually, I see your point. It is a conflict. First, me defending Sirius against the Ministry; and second, me somewhat going toe-to-toe with the Longbottom regent."

"Exactly," said Wendell. "Two battles, with both battlefronts being the same - the field of law.

"I'd have loved to have had the time to come and watch this Wizengamot of yours in judicial session and then also see it in legislative session for the comparison."

"It's not that much different than muggle magistracies, Wendell," he said. "But, instead of a panel, there's a single magistrate referred to as Chief Adjudicator. Any member of the Wizengamot can also ask a question and expect it to be answered, so long as they're not declared out of order by the Chief Adjudicator.

"At the end of the trial phase and the beginning of the sentencing phase, the Chief Adjudicator then, usually under direction from the members, sets up the vote and what exactly will be voted upon by the Wizengamot in the passing of judgement."

"So you and Ted have explained," smiled Wendell. "I'd still like a chance, some day, to see it in action."

"Once this day is done, I'll see what I can do," said Harry. "I'll even make sure you get plenty of notice, so you can adjust your schedule.

"I'm pretty sure the next scheduled meeting of the Wizengamot is in February. But, we won't know if there'll be a judicial sitting before or after that, though; until closer to the day."

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

About ten minutes after the Grangers left, Ted turned up.

Harry was going through his carded notes for the trial when the man walked in, led by one of the aurors.

"Good morning, Lord Potter," he greeted him.

"Morning, Ted," replied Harry.

"All set?" he asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," smiled Harry. He then called, "Hermione!"

"There's no need to shout, Harry," she said, walking in a minute later. "There's excellent acoustics on the stairs."

"Is that how you do it?" he asked, staring at what Hermione was wearing. "I thought you'd put up a monitoring charm, or something, on the front path!"

"She looks hot!' he thought. 'I am such a lucky man.'

She blinked at him for a minute and then let out a chuckle. "That's actually a clever idea. But, no. I tend to leave my door open so I can listen for anything happening down in the entrance foyer. Can you set one up for me later?"

"Yeah, if you want," he replied. "Wow, Hermione; you look great!"

Hermione looked down at her attire and gave a slow twirl on the spot. "Henrietta picked it up for me. I like the colours and I'm told it shows... well, it makes me look good." Then gave a little blush.

'Oh, no. I almost told Harry it makes my breasts and hips look fuller,' she thought. 'Better be more careful, in future.'

"A-and...," she stuttered. "I knew you'd look good in that black with green trim. I thought you'd have worn your green shirt underneath, but the white actually looks better."

"You two ready?" Ted cut in.

"Yep," replied Harry, while Hermione replied, "Yes."

"Where are the aurors?" asked Ted.

"Right here," said the senior auror of the contingent for the morning, walking in from back near the stairs leading down to the lower ground floor.

"Right!" said Ted. "Then, let us be off."

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

After a portkey deposited them in the portkey arrival point in the Ministry public atrium, the aurors made a sort of triangle around them - one in front and leading, the other two behind and a little out to each side - and led them up to the DMLE offices.

From there, they were led straight through to Madam Bones's office. All three of their 'contingent' aurors peeled away before Ted and the two teens entered the office.

As soon as he stepped within, being the last through, Harry saw Sirius, Frank and Alice were all already inside. Thankfully, the office was plenty big enough to hold them all quite comfortably. Bones was sitting behind her desk, facing them all.

"Welcome, Lord Potter... Mister Tonks... Miss Granger," she greeted them.

"Hello, Amelia," said Ted. Turning a little to Hermione, he introduced the Longbottoms to her.

"Hello, Lord and Lady Longbottom," she softly said, dipping a little into a wizarding curtsey

"Enough of that... Hermione," said Alice. "I may call you Hermione, yes?"

"Yes..." she replied, hesitating.

"Alice," said Alice, walking towards her and bringing, by half-dragging, Frank with her. "And the big lug next to me is Frank. You and Harry have earned the right."

Hermione blushed and said, "Ummm... That was Harry―"

"Nonsense," said Alice, wrapping the girl in a hug. "We ladies know very well the men would be lost if we weren't there to show them the way."

Frank gave a slight snort of amusement as he stepped in to hug her himself. "It's Frank," he firmly said.

"She right," said Harry. "I was being straight with you when I said I know I wouldn't have stood a chance during the first three years of Hogwarts if you weren't there with and for me."

Again, Hermione blushed at the praise.

"Well," laughed Alice, stepping forward to hug him. "At least you know that much. It's a good start."

Once everyone settled down again, sitting before Bones's desk in a somewhat haphazard curved line. Bones looked around and shook her head. She quietly said, "This is somewhat surreal."

Sirius snickered back.

"Oh," she suddenly said. "That reminds me..." She turned to look at the two teens and almost formally said, "On behalf of the Ministry of Magic and on behalf of the Noble and Ancient House of Bones, I offer my congratulations... you two... on your betrothal. I'm sorry I hadn't remembered to voice that before now."

Harry grinned and said, "Thank you. And your mind's been on other matters, of late."

Hermione blushed and quietly replied a moment later, "Thank you."

Bones gave a nod back and said, "Well, Lord Potter; I believe the muggle phrase is... 'You've pulled another cat out of your hat'?"

"Rabbit," said Hermione. "But, the context is right."

"Rabbit, then," she nodded back. "I wonder what's next in your repertoire."

Harry just smiled back. He actually didn't really know.

"Alright," said Ted. "We don't have much time. How are we going to do this?"

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

Albus Dumbledore rose and had breakfast with the rest of the school before retiring to his office. Once inside he warded the office apartment set to a high degree before going to his apartment and changing.

He changed into one of his remaining finest set of robes, this one was in fuchsia with orange trim, and readied himself for a day at the Ministry.

The wards he had caused to be erected would state for the castle's wards - and, therefore, for Marchbanks - that he was in his apartment, apparently taking a nap for a couple hours; before then showing him in his office, sitting at his desk and working.

Once set, he fortified himself for his soon-to-be meeting with young Harry in the Wizengamot chambers before the trial could even start, took a pinch of floo powder and tossed it into the fireplace. It was quite obvious young Harry would be there for the trial of his godfather.

"Ministry of Magic," he firmly said, before stepping in.

Barely a moment later he found himself stepping out... right into the Headmistress's office.

"Hello, Albus," she said to the now very shocked man. "You didn't think I would figure out what you were planning to do? Tsk tsk tsk!"

"Errr..." he stuttered, flummoxed he'd been so easily foiled. He'd forgotten the internal floo system could be redirected by the Headmaster or -mistress. Obviously, though, Marchbanks hadn't.

"Griselda," he calmly replied.

"Headmistress Marchbanks!" she snapped. "Alllll-beee."

Dumbledore scowled and quietly snapped, "Quite."

"Now," she said, sitting up a little straighter and pulling a file from her desk drawer before placing it in her desk. "That'll be yet another very naughty thing you tried I'm adding to your developing list of black marks against you.

"You have been told repeatedly you weren't to leave the castle during school hours without prior permission from me. And, yet, here we are again.

"You can consider yourself in 'detention', Professor Dumbledore. Go back to your office apartment, take down those silly wards you put up to make me think you were still there and stay there until I call for you. A house elf will be taking you lunch. Expect to be released some time before dinner.

"Use the time, wisely. I'll soon be asking staff for accelerated teaching programmes for each of their classes to make up for the time the students have been away.

"You are dismissed."

Dumbledore spun on his foot and stalked from the room without a word. This time, like the previous time, he closed the door himself.

Just before he left, though, Marchbanks tagged him with a tracker from behind. If Dumbledore found it, so be it. She didn't really care. But, it would lead him to a wrong conclusion, she was sure.

Once she was sure Dumbledore was gone, she cancelled the redirection on his floo and then had it deactivated completely.

With a nod to herself for a job well done, she gathered what she needed for the rapidly approaching Wizengamot meeting, activated her own floo and stepped through.

Because she knew none of the other professors would aid him, the only way out for the old man now was walking out through the front gate.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

Just before the start of the hour of 8.00am - an hour earlier than normal due to the following general meeting - everyone involved in what was soon to happen from Harry's 'side' were in place.

The Longbottoms were sitting under DMLE-approved glamours next to Hermione and closest to the stairs leading down onto the floor. Harry, Ted and Sirius were on the main floor already and ready to go. Bones had gone into the back area to be with the other Members. And Andi had turned up, not seen the Longbottoms because the glamours were already in place, gave Ted a quick kiss on the cheek and ducked back to join the Members. She looked almost giddy with excitement, for which Ted had to quietly, but firmly, tell her to quickly get under control.

As the clock struck two minutes to the hour, the members all filed in and took their Seats. Augusta Longbottom had the Chief Adjudicator's seat.

As soon as the clock struck the hour, the old dragon banged her gavel once and said, "Yesterday, I had cause to be placed upon the agenda for today, the forced questioning of the young Lord Potter, regarding the whereabouts of my missing son and his wife. We will be starting with that first."

Bones immediately snapped out, "Point of Order, Chief Adjudicator. That matter was immediately stripped from the agenda within minutes of it appearing there, as it is not a matter for this body to discuss."

Snapping to stare at Bones as soon as she'd said, 'Point of order', Longbottom snapped back, "Overruled! We will be questioning―"

"Point of Order, Regent Longbottom!" yelled Bones. "This body is currently sitting in judicial review on a single matter! Now is not the time―

"It bloody well is if I decide it is!" Longbottom yelled back. "I am the Chief Adjudicator and if I decide it will be, then it bloody well will be!"

Bones quickly stood to her feet and said, "I, Amelia Susan Bones, Regent of the Noble and Ancient House of Bones, Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Acting Madam Minister of Magic, hereby call for a vote of no confidence in the Longbottom regent in her role as Chief Adjudicator for this trial. She has already demonstrated a direct bias against the wizard speaking as counsel for the Defendant of the case. As such, I call for the immediate vote!"

Longbottom surged to her feet and whirled to face Bones, her wand already in her hand and spitting sparks from the tip. "You... you―"

"Say it, and you'll be arrested on the spot!" snapped Bones.

The aurors were already moving to intercede.

Longbottom was quivering in rage, staring back at Bones.

She then screamed, "He has my son! My son! I want him back!"

"As you seem to have lost control of your senses," said Bones. "I will call the vote. All those in favour of the motion... vote now."

Slowly wands started to rise. It took a long few seconds, but more than a clear half voted in the affirmative.

When it looked like no more wands would be raised, Bones snapped, "All those against the motion, vote now."

Far less than a quarter raised their wands.

Bones then snapped, "As the vote has fallen against you, Regent Longbottom, you are hereby stripped of the Chief Adjudicator's position of this matter. Lord Ogden, as you did just recently, would you do us the honour?"

Ogden stood and firmly stated, "I will."

As he started to move down to the Chief Adjudicator/Warlock seat, Longbottom stood there, unmoving, quivering in rage.

As Ogden moved to stand near her, he said, "Regent Longbottom, you stand relieved."

She gave an almost quiet cry of her rage and stormed off to sit in the Longbottom Seat. Unlike her normal behaviour, she almost dropped into it with a crash of her slight frame. Then sat there staring with hate at Harry.

He couldn't have cared less. Her claws would be stripped from her well before lunch.

'Make yourself comfortable, bitch,' he thought. 'The next hour or two will be the last time you ever sit in that Seat, if I have anything to do with it.'

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

With Ogden now installed as Chief Adjudicator, the trial commenced.

Bones was prosecuting as normal for a high profile case involving one of the Noble Houses and Harry was letting Ted deal with the finer points of law and objecting where necessary, as planned. He was after all a law-wizard, while Harry was not.

Sirius was even happily admitting to everything, even going so far as to talking about what enchantments he had placed on the motorcycle after he legally bought it, brand new, from a reputable Harley Davidson retailer just south of London.

"It's a 1981 Harley Davidson FXB 80 Low Rider Limited Sturgis Edition," Sirius almost excitedly said. "Sweeeet ride, it is! Had only six tenths of a mile on the odometer; and that was put on there during factory testing.

"Muggle avoidance, impact avoidance, muggle Notice-Me-Not in flight mode and even a temporary jet boost for those times you need to get out of an area with all due haste!

When Bones, confused, said, "Then, I do not understand. If you have admitted to breaching the law, why not just pay the fine and be done with it?"

Ted, not Sirius, responded, "That will be shown as part of the Defence's arguments, Madam Bones."

Completely confused with what she was hearing, as were all the Members, Bones soon rested her case stating, "Though he has pleaded not guilty, the defendant has admitted guilt in his own responses. Personally, I'm at a loss. The Ministry rests."

Ogden shook his head and said, "Mister Tonks and... Lord Potter. The Defence may begin its arguments."

Harry walked forward a few steps and laid his hand on Sirius's shoulder, where he sat in the accused's chair - the chains lazily draped over him.

"Thank you, Chief Adjudicator," said Harry. "I will begin by offering fair warning. You and the rest of the Wizengamot are about to be publicly embarrassed. You will be embarrassed because I, with the assistance of Mister Edward Tonks, am going to prove to you that this Statute, the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Statute, under which my... client... has been charged is so ridiculously stupid as to beggar belief."

That earned him quite a few grumbles of annoyance.

"Through four examples, I will also be proving, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the following are complicit in outrageously breaching that Statute themselves.

"They are: the legally defined body known as the Ministry of Magic, the legally defined body known as the Board of Directors of Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, the legally defined body known as the Board of Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, et al.

"Furthermore, I shall be proving that in two of the examples I will be presenting, the legally defined body known as the Ministry of Magic, while operating under the direction of the Wizengamot of the day, engaged in flat-out grand larceny of not one, but two, significant muggle artefacts as defined in the Statute, before themselves breaching the Statute even further by wilfully and permanently enchanting said muggle artefacts."

Harry had to stop because the noises of outrage coming from the Members was starting to drown him out. With a smirk on his lips, he looked pointedly at Ogden and negligently gestured to the members. That snapped the somewhat elderly man out of his shock

Sirius was laughing himself almost silly in his seat.

While he stood there as Ogden began to repeatedly bang his gavel, Harry was looking at the reactions of the Members. Specifically he was looking for those who had little to no reaction.

There was Longbottom, of course, who just sat there staring holes in him; but also Madam Bones, who was pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes scrunched closed as if in pain; Andi Tonks, of course, who had a 'fair idea' what he would do; and, he noticed, Madam Griselda Marchbanks, who was smirking back at him with a twinkle in her eyes.

He impudently grinned back at her, which had the old woman beginning to appear to chuckle. She was even tapping the cane she was holding upright between her legs, lightly upon the floor.

Once the noise settled with some of the Members glaring at Harry and some now confused and angry that they were, Harry said, "Chief Adjudicator Ogden, I must protest, most strongly, at the vociferous interference in my defence of Lord Black. The behaviour of a clear majority of Members, within seconds of me commencing my arguments, is most unseemly!"

When the Members immediately got their goats up again, this time Ogden was very quick to bang his gavel before the noise got out of hand.

A soon as the noise quietened down, this time Bones jumped in before Harry could say anything.

"Chief Adjudicator Ogden, if I may?" she loudly asked.

Turning to her he asked, "Madam Bones?"

"May I have a few minutes to speak with... counsel for the defence while the Members use this time to settle themselves down?" she asked.

Ogden turned to look at Harry, who immediately turned to Ted and shrugged. Smirking, Ted gave a very gentle nod back.

Harry spun back to look at Ogden and said, "Sure! Why not? How about Madam Prosecutor and we two converse for... fifteen minutes? Perhaps the Members would like to take a break."

"You have ten," sighed Ogden. "We recess for ten minutes!" he called and banged his gavel before rising.

As Madam Bones came down to talk, Harry threw up a privacy field, which Ted enhanced with his own that made them appear murky to anyone outside the field.

Madam Bones walked through it only seconds later.

"What, in Merlin's name, are you up to?" she sighed.

Harry grinned at Ted and asked, "Shall we show her what evidence we're going to present?"

Ted chuckled and said, "We may as well. The trial has already started, so there's not much she can do to stop it if we don't want it stopped."

Harry began to lay out his documented evidence in four piles. One each for Saint Mungo's, the Hogwarts Express, the Knight Bus and the K6 red telephone kiosk, commonly called a phone box, outside the Ministry of Magic and acting as the public entrance.

As he did, Madam Bones walked around to see what he'd laid out.

"The first one is the evidence relating to Saint Mungo's, specifically the building in which it resides," he began. "As you can see from the records, both muggle and Ministry, the building is of muggle construction and was bought from a muggle company called Purge and Dowse, Limited. The building was purchased by the Board of Directors, muggles were Obliviated, and the inside enchanted. That makes it an enchanted muggle artefact, as defined by the Statute.

"The second one is of the Engine for the train known today as the Hogwarts Express. It was built by the muggle company known as London, Midland and Scottish Railway (LMS) founded on 1 January, 1923. It is a Stanier Class 5 4-6-0 commonly known as a 'Black Five'. Between 1934 and 1951, 842 were built.

"In 1941, locomotive No. 5425 was severely damaged in a Luftwaffe air raid. That train was then stolen - that's larceny, Madam Bones - by the Ministry of Magic from the place where it was damaged. One hundred and sixty-seven Memory Charms and the largest ever mass Concealment Charm performed in Britain, all co-ordinated by the Ministry, were employed in the theft. It was then moved to a wizarding site, repaired and enchanted.

"A statement from a Wizengamot meeting of the time and found in Ministry records was, 'Due to its Muggle origin, many pure-blood parents disapprove of the train, but can do little about it as the Ministry has forbidden any other method of travelling to Hogwarts.'

"That makes the Ministry of Magic complicit in the larceny of a muggle artefact from its rightful muggle owners. And complicit in forcing all witches and wizards going to Hogwarts to break the Statute by making them ride the train.

"I also have here a list of all those who were involved. You'll notice some of those names are of Members currently sitting in the Wizengamot, right now. That means they are all guilty of the crime of Conspiracy to Commit Grand Larceny, Burglary, a breach of the same Statute for which Lord Black now sits for judgement, plus much more.

"And I've made no inference about the actual carriages, yet. Each of those is also a muggle artefact, which has been enchanted.

"The third one is the stolen muggle artefact known in wizarding Britain as the 'Knight Bus'. It was constructed by the Associated Equipment Company, who simply used the acronym AEC until they folded in 1979. AEC was a muggle British vehicle manufacturer which built buses, motor-coaches and lorries.

"The Knight Bus is actually an enchanted AEC Regent III RT and is a variant of the mass-produced AEC Regent III. It was a double-decker bus until it was stolen sometime in the late 1930s from its rightful owner, the Glasgow Corporation. And was originally intended to be an exhibit at the 1939 Commercial Motor Show. However, muggle police records show it never made it there and it's listed as motor vehicle theft.

"The current Knight Bus is actually a replacement for one established in 1865 by then Minister for Magic, Dugald McPhail. He hit upon the idea of imitating the Muggles' relatively new 'bus service'. Very soon afterwards the Knight Bus of its day hit the streets.

"Some wizards of the time - mainly pureblood fanatics - announced their intention of boycotting what they dubbed 'this Muggle-esque outrage' in the letters page of the Daily Prophet. Old records of the Daily Prophet of the time report on this."

Tapping another page, he continued, "This... is a list of the people involved in the first... acquiring... of the Knight Bus, the first one; and I think I can build a pretty good case against one Earnest Prang for illegally acquiring the second and enchanting it. That's the one now being operated by him.

"The fourth example is the red telephone kiosk - or, box - that is the supposed public entrance of this very building. It is of muggle construction by the British muggle Government entity known today as British Telecom. The kiosk is known by the model number 'K6'. The crown that decorates the lintel above the door shows it be a depiction of Saint Edward's Crown, which means it was... acquired... after 1955, which is when that particular crown was first used.

"The telephone inside of it, yet another enchanted muggle artefact, is an Automatic Electric payphone model 233G built by The Gray Telephone and Pay Station Company of Hartford, Connecticut, under contract with Western Electric. Both are muggle companies in the USA. Western Electric provided such phones in the United Kingdom only to British Telecom; and British Telecom have not sold a single one of them on. That means it, too, is stolen. It, too, occurred sometime after 1955.

"I have here a list of the folks within the Ministry who were involved in that, including the Obliviators, the Directors of Departments who signed off on it, including your own, the then Minister and a few others. Again, some of those folks currently sit on those Seats before us."

Stepping back, he looked directly to her. "Now, Madam Bones, here's your problem: Under the Statute, for which Lord Black has been charged and you've just argued should be fined, you've now seen how over four hundred and fifty-two wizards and witches, almost all of them working for the Ministry of Magic or Saint Mungo's at the time, or sitting as Members of the Wizengamot at the time, have both outrageously ignored the Statute, for whatever reason, and most of them also complicit in the act of larceny. Why'd they do it? Because, they didn't consider themselves bound by it?

"If the Ministry of Magic and the Wizengamot, let alone all the rest of the people I'll force you to go out and arrest and charge with the same and a similar crime you're prosecuting Lord Black for, don't think the Statute is worth them having to obey, why the Hell do you think anyone else should?

"As you now know and could easily be provided proof of, the Statute requires those artefacts all be stripped of their enchantments and, in the case of the stolen ones, returned to the rightful muggle owners.

"Translating that, it means, One: You would be required to toss everyone out of Saint Mungo's; they'll just have to find somewhere else to be sick, dying, treated, whatever. Two: Go and get the Hogwarts Express from wherever it is stored when not in use and strip it of all enchantments before taking it somewhere muggle and dumping it. The students will have to find some other way to get to Hogwarts when school starts back up - Oh, wait, they can't! The Ministry ordered that no one can travel to Hogwarts without doing so via the Hogwarts Express. No Hogwarts Express means no one can go to Hogwarts. Oops. I guess the school will need to be shut down until the Ministerial degree is rescinded. Three: Go drag Earnie Prang's sorry arse off the Knight Bus, strip it of its enchantments - including that ridiculous third deck - and return it to the muggles. And, Four: go close down the public entrance to the Ministry, strip the red telephone box and the telephone inside it of its enchantments and give it back to its rightful owners, British Telecom.

"Now, while you're cogitating that, think of this: How many muggle artefacts... as they are defined in the Statute... are used every day by witches and wizards who create portkeys?

"Are you aware the motor vehicle hubcap - off a Hunter Hillman, if I know my hubcaps well enough - we used as a portkey to get from the Granger Residence to here, today, met the definition of an illegally enchanted muggle artefact as per the Statute?"

"And, what about all those portkeys that were created for the Quidditch World Cup that the Ministry organised? I know - for a fact, since I had to use one - a very great many of them were muggle artefacts. So, everyone in the Portkey Office needs to be arrested and charged; probably everyone in the Department of Magical Transportation, especially the Department Director. And everyone else involved in deciding upon and creating any portkeys for the event.

"The ball is now in your court, Madam Bones. What do you want to do with it?"

Bones had stood there, following along as Harry showed her clear-cut documented proof from both worlds of all that he had talked about; stunned silent.

Finally, she simply and vehemently said, "Oh, Merlin's wrinkled... bollocks!"

That was it for Sirius. He'd been trying to hold his laughter in so much until then he sounded like he was giggling and smothering it.

When Bones quietly swore, he couldn't hold it back any longer. He was laughing so hard, if it wasn't for the fact the chair was bolted to the floor, he'd have tipped both himself and the chair over, chains and all.

He was laughing so hard Ted had to give him one of his own calming draughts.

Bones ignored all that as she stood there trying to forget the last five minutes of her life.

"I hate you," she quietly said.

Starting to lose his temper, even though he knew he shouldn't as it wasn't Bones's fault, Harry firmly retorted, "I'm not the one who was the daft moron that wrote such a stupid bloody law! Nor am I the muggins that has to enforce it. I'm just the schmuck who has decided he's sick and bloody tired of stupid laws he's supposed to follow like the simple-minded sheep that seem to make up the flock that is wizarding Britain.

"Well, this muggins has had a gutful.

"You want out of this? Fine! Here's my demands for you to dig yourself out of this. One: Drop the case, right the hell now, or as soon as we drop the privacy shields and CA Ogden calls us back into session. As you can see, irrespective of you believing you have successfully argued your case against Lord Black, you haven't and you now know it. Two: As Acting Madam Minister, move to immediately and unequivocally suspend the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Statute for it being utterly worthless. Three: Work with me to repeal the law in its entirety and we'll rewrite it to something that actually makes sense! And, four: Get a proper bloody Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office and staff it full of muggleborns, who actually have a clue. Arthur Weasley just 'tinkers' with things he has no idea about; and Cliff Perkins, his supposed partner, is just a 'seat warmer'. Let Arthur Head it, if you must; but, he needs to be taught what a muggle artefact actually is.

"How say you?"

She stood thinking for close on thirty seconds before she gave a sigh, nodded and said, "Let's do this, just as you described."

Finally, he was able to get his anger under control and sheepishly looked to her. "Sorry. My behaviour was uncalled for. You're just doing your job and I'm smacking you about for doing it."

When the privacy shield dropped, Members were just returning if they'd actually gone anywhere. Most hadn't.

She stayed on the floor, sighed and looked up at Ogden. "Chief Adjudicator Ogden, the Ministry finds itself in the position it has no choice... but to drop all charges filed against Lord Sirius Black the Third."

"Whaat?!" he shouted in shock.

Mind you, almost the whole Wizengamot went 'bananas'.

After first walking around it, Harry just sat with his back to the Defence's table he'd been using to show Bones all the documents, propped his bum against it, folded his arms, crossed his legs at the ankles and, finally calmer, smirked at Ogden.

Looking about, his eyes immediately caught those of Madam Marchbanks. As soon as she saw him looking at her, she let go of her cane to sit propped between her knees and quietly mimicked clapping him while grinning back. He couldn't help but sheepishly grin at her in return.

It took quite a while for the Members to calm down. Bones had to eventually fire off three Cannonblast charms in rapid succession before she got them quiet.

With Ogden banging his gavel away as the noise quietened, he was almost the last to actually be quiet.

Once noise was down to a dull murmur, he demanded, "WHY?"

"Because, if I do not, then Lord Potter is going to present his evidence. We cannot stop him from doing so, as he is defending his client and must, by our laws, be given the time to do that.

"If Lord Potter does present that evidence, then that evidence will be a matter of Record in the Wizengamot records books. If it goes in there then the DMLE must act on evidence he presents, which proves criminal activity.

"The evidence I now know he will present will lead to the arrests of close on..."

She turned to look at him.

"Four hundred and fifty-two, plus all those associated with making portkeys," he quietly said.

"... Hell! Four hundred and fifty-two people, plus approximately a thousand more. I know approximately a third of the members currently sitting here today will be included in that number, plus about half of my aurors, plus about half of the rest of the Ministry.

"I'll also be forced to close Saint Mungo's hospital and toss out everyone within - staff and patients alike - and seize the building as evidence of a criminal act. I will also have to seize the Hogwarts Express and the Knight Bus. And I will have to permanently close the current public entrance of this very building.

"I... really... don't want to be put in the position I have to do that.

"If you cannot figure out why I would have to do that, you shouldn't be sitting in those tiers."

That, again, had Members going silly in their Seats. Bones only let it go on for about five seconds before she fired yet another Cannonblast charm off.

"E-nough!" she barked. Then she stared at the young Dicta-quill operator and said, "Deactivate all your quills. This part will be off the record."

When they all calmed down enough for her to be properly heard over the noise left, she said, "I'm not telling you this as a threat; or that Lord Potter is threatening to do this. I'm telling you this is going to happen if this case is allowed to proceed!

"Lord Potter is required, by our own laws, to provide Lord Black with his best efforts in defending him. The evidence that Lord Potter has gathered from public records, both in the wizarding world and muggle, will accomplish that.

"Therefore, he is now bound by our laws to present his evidence. The only way we can stop it from happening is if I drop the case.

"However... the case can then only be dropped if Lord Potter and the rest of the Defence accept the offer to drop. The Defence can refuse it. If that happens Lord Potter will present his evidence and fifteen hundred plus witches and wizards will be arrested; and Saint Mungo's, the Hogwarts Express, the Knight Bus and the little red public telephone box that sits as the public entrance to the Ministry, will all be seized as evidence of blatant breaches of the Statute for Misuse of Muggle Artefacts.

"There is no other possible outcome!"

"Oh, Merlin's left quaffle!" moaned Ogden.

"Those were roughly my sentiments, too," she replied.

"This is ridiculous," said Caracticus Nott. "We simply rule those items all exempt from the law and proceed from there!"

Harry immediately stood up from where he was still perched on the edge of the desk and stepped forward. "Really?" He asked. "Then what about the following? Kings Cross Station is a muggle artefact. You, yourself, have been there. The Ministry created a portal located between the existing muggle platforms of nine and ten to allow witches and wizards to pass through to Platform nine and three-quarters. That portal, plus its Notice-Me-Not charms and the like, mean that the artefact has been enchanted. That's illegal under the definitions stated in the Statute.

"In the village of Godric's Hollow, Devon, a muggle war memorial dedicated to the loss of life of muggle soldiers in muggle conflicts, as recently as only thirteen years ago, under the direction of this very body, was enchanted to show visiting wizards and witches the sacrifice of their lives made by my parents in destroying the one most recently called the Dork Lard, or some such nonsense. Therefore, it is an enchanted muggle artefact and a breach of the Statute. And you people sat there and voted for it to happen! That means you lot were all conspirators in breaking the law. Blatantly!

"The building known as The Leaky Cauldron is another artefact of muggle construction that has been enchanted, so are many of your homes. All illegal as per the Statute.

"There are similar items in this very room, right now. Many of you have them on your persons." He then indicated Bones and said, "For example, Madam Acting Minister Bones has a monocle. It is of muggle construction. I believe it would be discovered to have at least self-cleaning, unbreakable and the like charms on it. That makes it an enchanted muggle artefact; and, according to the law she just got through doing her damnedest to shaft Lord Black with, makes it illegal."

"Oh, bugger!" she quietly sighed.

"I find it pretty amusing she is prosecuting a case of breaking the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Statute when, all along while doing it, she had on her face a similar item.

"Madam Marchbanks has been quietly sitting up there and gently tapping her cane on the floor in amusement. She might have purchased that cane from a reputable wizarding vendor. However, if she does not know... for a fact... that the cane was not sourced from a muggle manufacturer, if she has then placed enchantments upon it she has breached the Statute."

That had the old woman laugh. "He's right, you know. And I have placed enchantments upon it."

"Shall I go on proving what a bunch of nitwits you're all being; or, will you shut up, crawl back into the hole from whence you emerged and let those who have a clue talk this out? There is no 'exempting' that is going to get you out of this. There is far, far too many items in use throughout wizarding Britain... right now... that breach the Statute.

"Your only course of action is to suspend it, if not outright strip it from the books of law. Your excuse to do so is that it has been proven to be both unworkable and unenforceable in its current state. Then, the Wizengamot is going to write a completely new one; one that is enforceable and not such a completely daft, moronic piece of legislation.

"So, do I continue with my case or are you people going to use your brains, decide for yourself you're in a situation of your own making that will effectively grind wizarding Britain to an immediate halt if I continue as I currently have to, decide that only your own undoing of it is going to get you out of it and strip the Statute away? Or not?

"Decide!

"Once they have... Chief Adjudicator... please announce and call the vote. If this body does not vote in the affirmative to strip the Statute away, I stand ready to continue to defend my client - as I am required by law to do."

After much whining, moaning and angry complaints about it, the Wizengamot, sitting as they were in judicial review, voted to strip the Statute from the books. They even asked Harry to provide the words for the reasoning.

"I've already given it to you," he replied. "It is unworkable and unenforceable in its current state."

Due to there no longer being a Statute for which Sirius supposedly illegally broke, the case was then aborted - the Defence 'magnanimously' allowed it.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

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