Chapter 4: Making the Decision

With sunlight pouring in through the windows, Ella stood in front of the enormous mirror in the guest bedroom, gazing at her reflection. The pale, anxious face that stared back at her was lighted by the gentle glow, but despite her best efforts, she was unable to see herself properly. What was she turning into? The girl who had earlier felt so alone and invisible was now attempting to figure out how to proceed while standing in a house that wasn't hers and surrounded by strangers.

She was confused and hesitant, and her heart was a tangled mess. The last three days had been a roller coaster of emotions. There was, on the one hand, the indisputable feeling of relief. This stranger, Alex, had given her a new life and the opportunity to heal after saving her life. However, she was unable to ignore the knot in her stomach and the continuous fluttering in her chest, which served as a reminder of how uncomfortable she felt in his environment. This was not the place for her. She was unsure about how to participate in this life.

She could still hear her stepmother's voice. You are nothing. You'll never measure up. You will never be loved by anyone.

She had survived so long because of that version of herself. The girl who thought she had no value. But now that she was facing the mirror, Ella was unable to make sense of the difference between that girl and the person she was growing into. Could she change? To develop?

Ella turned to see Alex standing in the doorway, his towering body filling the room as the bedroom door cracked open. Even though he didn't say anything at first, Ella felt both reassured and nervous by his very presence.

Alex whispered, "You're still in your room," in a tone that was both interested and worried. "I figured you might be starving. Are you alright?

Ella nodded and bit her lip, but she was still not entirely sure what she was thinking. The guy who had saved her, the life she could have here, and the overwhelming question that hung over her: What next? She had been thinking about these things for hours.

Her voice was hardly audible above a whisper when she said, "I'm just... thinking."

Alex took a few more steps into the room and looked around before focusing on her. There was warmth in his piercing eyes, an implicit invitation to open up if she felt ready. Ella wasn't sure she was prepared for it, though.

He inquired softly, "What are you thinking about?" in a compassionate tone that startled her. He had always been the type of man who avoided getting too involved in other people's affairs and tended to keep his distance. However, he was giving her more than just his company right now; he was giving her understanding.

She paused for a long while. The prospect of remaining in this house made her feel both safe and afraid, and she wanted to tell him everything about it. However, the words refused to come. She didn't even comprehend it herself, so how could she explain it all?

She finally said, her voice trembling slightly, "I'm not sure if I should stay here." She stepped away from the mirror, suddenly aware of her own self-consciousness. "Alex, I'm not sure if I belong in your world. Here, everything seems so different. I have no idea what I should do.

At first, Alex remained silent. He simply stood there, his gaze observing her with a level of intensity that, for the first time in years, made her feel seen.

After a long pause, he replied in a firm yet loving voice, "Ella, if you want to, you belong here. I'm not requesting that you be someone else. I'm requesting that you allow yourself the opportunity to discover your true self. You have to make this choice. Nobody else's.

His comments jolted her out of the whirlpool of uncertainty and bewilderment in her head like a lightning bolt. For a very long time, she had felt as though she had no control over her life and that her decisions were meaningless. However, Alex was correct. She had an option.

Even if it was only momentary, Ella felt at ease as she turned to face the window and the garden below. Over the last few days, the garden had become her haven—calm, peaceful, and removed from the world's turmoil. She was able to be herself there, free from the criticism and expectations that had always been so much a part of her life.

Was that sufficient, though? Was it truly living to hide in the security of a garden?

Ella muttered, "I'm afraid," more to herself than to Alex. "I have no idea what it's like to live fearlessly."

Alex took a step forward and spoke in a calm, quiet voice. "You don't need to deal with everything at once. Ella, you don't need to fix yourself at this moment. It takes time to heal. However, you will have the time you require if you remain here. You'll have room to work things out.

With her eyes closed, Ella let the sound of his words fill her head. He was correct. There was no need to make it all or nothing. She didn't need to jump right in. However, staying and deciding to confront her concerns rather than run away from them seemed like a life-altering choice.

Her voice was weak and vulnerable as she said, "Are you sure?" "Are you certain I'm not merely a burden to you?"

Something fluttered in Ella's chest as Alex smiled, a tiny but comforting smile. "I'm positive," he said plainly. "Ella, you are not a burden. You are a person who is worthy of having the opportunity to be happy. And I believe that's what you'll discover here.

Ella studied his face, searching for any sign of dishonesty. However, nothing was present. For the first time in a long time, Ella felt as though she might be able to trust him because of his honest and open attitude.

Now that she was familiar with her reflection, she turned back to the mirror. Although the girl who was staring back at her was still unsure and having difficulties, she was no longer alone. She had an opportunity. And she had never had that much before.

"All right," she said quietly as she inhaled deeply. "I'll remain. I will give it a shot.

After his eyes softened, Alex reached out to her for the first time since they had first met. He did not do so in an obtrusive manner, but rather in a way that conveyed his understanding. He didn't have to speak, but he chose not to. It was sufficient to have his steady, comforting hand on her shoulder.

Although Ella had no idea what was ahead, she was convinced at that very moment that she would no longer have to face it alone.