Chapter 11: The White House Gene Bank

The viscous nutrient solution roiled over the bronze statue of President Lincoln as the cloning chamber three hundred meters below Capitol Hill opened. Adam watched as the faces in the incubation chamber switched between presidents-Jefferson's cheekbones, Roosevelt's chest hair, JFK's gunshot wound to the back of the head, and finally settling into his father's jawline.

"Welcome to witnessing the United States of America 2.0," Emily NO.23 stomps in on the genetic goo, her scalpel slashing across the groin of the cloned soldier, revealing the metal spine with the flag stripes wrapped around the inside, "Their seminal vesicles house miniature nuclear launchers that refresh the secret key to the National Defense Authorization Act every time they ejaculate."

Victor is pinned down on the carpet of the Oval Office replica as the clone Roosevelt burns his scalp with a cigar. The cerebral cortex scanner shows that the reverse barcode under his burn scar is rewriting the clone's genetic instructions. Suddenly, all the clone troopers turned simultaneously in the direction of the White House, their irises projecting the same coordinates - the true repository of genetic sources hidden deep within Mount Rushmore.

"Do you know why presidents love to wear Rolexes?" Emily NO.23 pressed his face into the cloned Lincoln's chest cavity, which beats with two parallel hearts, "Because the case hides a DNA sampler, and each president's genetic material is automatically uploaded into the Devil's Tower National Monument underground."

Adam finds something even more horrifying under the Jefferson Memorial: three thousand formalin-soaked fetuses, each fused with the genetic profiles of two presidents. Labels on the incubation tanks showed that the Reagan+Obama genetic combinations had 37% excess brain capacity, while the Trump+Lincoln hybrids grew canines that could tear through bulletproof glass.

When he activates the EMP device, all the fetuses suddenly open their iris-less eyes. Surveillance screens flash back to July 4, 1776 - the tip of the pen used to sign the Declaration of Independence is dipped not in ink, but in the spinal fluid of the first president, Washington. The Blackstone Group Logo emerges from the parchment, and it turns out that the Founding Fathers signed a genetic immortality agreement long ago.

As the clone soldiers storm Capitol Hill, they lick the eyeballs of the members of Congress with their barbed tongues. Each devoured eyeball creates stars and stripes birthmarks on the soldiers' foreheads, which when pieced together turn out to be a Morse code version of the Second Amendment to the Constitution. Victor discovers that when the birthmarks are intact, the soldiers turn en masse to the White House Rose Garden - where genetically modified roses grown from presidential ashes are buried, with pollen that allows clones to evolve nuclear button fingerprints.

Emily NO.47 suddenly convulsed and fell to her knees as her clone's genes began to reject the nanobots inside her. Lumps in the shape of the President's signature bulged under her skin, and the text of the Emancipation Proclamation oozed from her veins. This is the Blackstone Group's pre-programmed backlash - when the clone army goes haywire, the cleanup crew is automatically transformed into living tombstones of constitutional amendments.

Adam saw his own clone being generated as he rushed into the gene source vault holding the neural conduit. The monster, a fusion of the genes of nine presidents, held his father's EPA director's warrant in his left hand and Victor's prison numbered branding iron in his right. Even more horrifying, the clone's vocal cords vibrated at the exact same frequency as his mother's dying screams.

"Kill me and you will inherit the Blackstone Group." The clone, Adam, spat out his tongue with the Congressional seal, "Or let me pour the ricin I secrete while masturbating into the East Coast Reservoir." A holographic projection shows that the clone army has taken over the New York Stock Exchange, and they are rewriting the Dow Jones index code as a countdown to the burning of the Declaration of Independence.