Its hard.

I don't know where to begin. Every morning, I wake up with a weight in my chest, this gnawing uncertainty that never seems to ease. I look around at my home, at the walls that hold my family's laughter and love, and I wonder how much longer I can keep it all together. The cost of everything has skyrocketed—groceries, utilities, gas, and rent. It feels like no matter how hard I work, how much I sacrifice, it's never enough.

Debt looms over me like a dark cloud, growing larger with each passing month. It wasn't always like this. I remember a time when things were manageable, when I could put a little away for emergencies or a future that felt hopeful. But now, every dollar earned is already spoken for before it even reaches my account. The credit card statements pile up, interest accumulating faster than I can pay it down. It's a cycle I can't seem to break, and I lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering how I'll ever get out of it.

The weight of responsibility is overwhelming. My child has dreams—dreams of university, of a career that will offer them opportunities I never had. I want to be the kind of parent who can provide, who can support them without hesitation, but when I look at tuition costs, it feels impossible. How am I supposed to help them achieve their dreams when I can barely keep the lights on?

And then there's the thought that haunts me constantly—what if something happens? What if a loved one falls ill or an emergency arises that requires me to be somewhere else? Plane tickets are a luxury I can't afford. If there were a crisis, I wouldn't even have the means to be where I needed to be. That thought keeps me up at night, the helplessness of it all gnawing away at me.

Bills never stop coming. Rent increases. Groceries cost more than ever. Even the basics, the non-negotiables of survival, feel like they're slipping out of reach. It's exhausting, working so hard just to stay in the same place, never making progress. Add on top of that the cost of schooling, uniforms, medical bills and also trying to take care of yourself. Who should you really take care of first. The people that you love, or do you take some of the money and take care of yourself first medically. Guess it comes down to the same old "who came first, the chicken or the egg" analogy. Take care of them because you care, but neglect yourself. Do that and then who will be there to take care of them if anything were to happen to you.

I don't know what the future holds. I used to think if I worked hard enough, everything would fall into place, but now I'm not so sure. I feel lost, drifting in an ocean of uncertainty with no land in sight. I don't know how long I can tread water, but I know I have to keep going. For my family. For my child. For myself. Even when the weight feels unbearable, I have no choice but to keep pushing forward. But God, I wish it weren't this hard.