Chapter 46: Goblins!

The trick to boiling a frog is to put it in cold water at low heat and wait for the water to go to boiling temperatures slowly.

That is, if the frog is alive, and you are a sadist.

When I woke up, tied up, with onions and carrots swimming around me, I knew that they had been boiling me for quite a while.

Because the water was already good enough for a bath after a day hunched over a cook fire.

So, I knew that I had to act very fast.

"For shame!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, as the goblins were cooking me alive. My voice came out squeaky, so it didn't have the desired effect.

Still, I cleared my throat and continued:

"Is this what you call cooking?" This time I managed to sound like someone who wanted to see the manager at a small family shop.

I felt proud of myself.

"Meat! Be quiet!" Ah, goblins. Was there a more elegant race?

"Don't you know that fear spoils the meat?" I yelled back.