Ch 8

Haein wants to believe that. But it's hard when he's been dealing with it alone for so long. "It's just... it's so hard," he murmurs, his voice cracking again. "I feel like I can never be good enough. Like I can never make my dad proud." "That's not true," Minho insists, his voice firm. "You're already so talented, and you've already achieved so much. You don't need to prove anything to anyone."

Haein wants to believe that, wants to believe that maybe he is good enough. But the years of criticism and disappointment from his dad have left a deep mark on him. "But my dad... he always expects more," Haein finds himself saying, the words pouring out like a flood. "No matter what I do, it's never enough for him. He always finds something to criticize, something to nitpick." Minho sighs at this. "Your dad's expectations are unrealistic," Minho says firmly. "And it's not fair for him to put all that pressure on you. You're not a machine. You're a person, and you need to take care of yourself." Haein knows that Minho is right. But it's hard to shake off the guilt and the sense of responsibility that his dad has ingrained in him. "I just... I don't want to disappoint him," he murmurs, feeling small and vulnerable. "You can't live your life trying to please someone else," Minho says, his voice firm but kind. "You have to live for yourself, and do what makes you happy. Your dad should be supporting you, not putting you down." Haein is silent for a moment, taking in Minho's words. They make sense, but it's hard to break the cycle of seeking approval. "It's just so hard," he repeats, his voice shaking. "I don't know how to stop caring about what he thinks." "It's not something you can do overnight," Minho admits. "It'll take time and courage. But you're strong, Haein. You have more strength than you think." Those words seem to strike a chord within him. Haein feels a flicker of determination, as if Minho's faith in him is contagious. He takes a deep breath, feeling a bit more resolute. "I... I'll try," he says softly, his voice gaining strength. "You don't have to do it alone," Minho quickly adds. "I'm here for you. Whenever you feel like you're drowning, call me. Anytime, okay?" Haein feels a surge of gratitude towards Minho, for his unwavering support and understanding. "Okay," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Thanks, Minho."

He feels a little bit better, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It's not a cure-all, but it's a start. "That's what friends are for," Minho says, his voice warm and sincere. "Just take care of yourself, okay? Don't let anyone, including your dad, make you feel like you're not good enough. Because you are." Haein nods, even though Minho can't see him. "Okay," he says quietly. "I will." And for the first time in a long time, he feels like maybe he actually will. There's a comfortable silence for a few moments. Then Minho speaks again, his voice gentle. "Hey, can I ask you something?" Haein's heart skips a beat. "Yeah..." he says, a touch of apprehension in his voice. "What is it?" Minho pauses for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. "Haein, do you... do you ever feel lost? Like you don't know who you are or what you want?" Haein is surprised by the question, but he doesn't hesitate to answer. "All the time," he admits softly. "I feel like I've been playing different roles for so long, that I've lost myself." "I get that," Minho says, his voice soft with empathy. "It's like you've been trying to please everyone else, and in the process, you've forgotten about yourself. Your own dreams, your own desires. It's like you've lost your compass." Haein feels a pang in his chest at how accurate Minho's words are. It's like he can read his mind. "Yeah..." he murmurs. "That's exactly how it feels. Like I'm just... drifting, without any sense of direction." "But you can find your way back," Minho says firmly. "It'll take time, and it won't be easy, but you can do it. You just have to start listening to yourself, instead of the voices of others. You have to believe in yourself, Haein."