A Life of Contradictions

Sophia often felt trapped, yearning for freedom. After spending a year in Ethan's world, she felt like she was suffocating in a cage.

Why had she married Ethan? She blamed herself for the decision, laughing bitterly at her situation. Ethan was like a king, powerful and untouchable. She, on the other hand, was the adopted "ugly duckling." Fairy tales transformed from ugly ducklings to swans seem magical, but in her reality, it was more of a cruel joke.

To this day, Sophia still wasn't sure if Ethan loved her or just found her entertaining. She leaned toward the latter. After all, their entire relationship seemed to be something she had forced into existence.

Even when they got married, Ethan hadn't seemed enthusiastic.

Sophia thought back to how it all started. That day, something precious was stolen from her by Ethan. In desperation, she ran away, but he didn't chase after her. The next day, she stormed into his office, demanding that he take responsibility.

Ethan, however, looked as carefree as ever. His lack of remorse infuriated her.

She had shouted at him, "Ethan, you have to marry me!"

He had calmly raised his head from his paperwork, smirking as he regarded her, hands on her hips and brimming with indignation.

"Sophia, don't flatter yourself. Countless women have been with me. Why would I marry you?"

His words cut deep, but she didn't back down.

"Because… because I want to marry you! Because I love you!" she blurted out, her voice trembling. Sophia wasn't sure why she had said those words. She had never truly known what it meant to love someone. Even now, she couldn't understand why she had been so insistent. Maybe the illness of her mother insisted on her or financial pressure insisted her for this bold step.

Her declaration didn't provoke the mockery she had expected. Ethan, who often dismissed such sentiments, didn't say a word. His grandmother had told him that if you get married, then you will get the family assets. Instead, he took her to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and just like that, they were married.

But their union was nothing more than two red marriage certificates. Ethan didn't even bother to give her a proper wedding.

After the marriage, Ethan's life didn't change. He still lived as if he was single, and Sophia felt like nothing more than a shadow in his world. The more she thought about it, the more she saw herself as a failure.

As a child, she had lost her family and been bullied. As an adult, her marriage felt like a cruel game where she was just a pawn.

Sophia sighed, silently chastising herself. "Sophia, can't you live with more dignity? Can't you think of yourself for once?" Said with a faint smile.

Her smile wasn't genuine. She didn't feel like smiling at all, but she forced it anyway. It was a smile tinged with helplessness and sadness. Standing in front of the welfare home where she had spent her childhood, Sophia decided not to leave right away. She pulled out her phone and called her principal to request a half-day off.

The principal scolded her for missing the morning class, but Sophia couldn't find it in herself to care. She had lived through too much, fought through too many battles, to let this moment affect her. The scolding bounced off her like water off a duck's back. When she set her mind to something, not even the most powerful person could stop her.

But deep down, a part of her knew her freedom was not absolute. In Ethan's world, she was bound by his rules and his expectations. Outside, she was a prisoner of her fears, insecurities, and the weight of her past.

"Sophia, are you ready to leave?" Sister Dawn, an elderly caretaker from the welfare home, asked gently, her voice filled with warmth and concern.

Sophia turned her head to glance at the riverside, a place she used to visit often as a child. The river had always been a source of comfort and peace, a place where she could escape, even if only for a little while. The sound of the water, the cool breeze, the soft rustling of leaves—it was all so familiar, yet so distant now.

"I'd like to take a walk there," Sophia replied quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. It wasn't just the river she longed for; it was the simplicity of those days, when the world seemed less complicated and when she didn't have to carry the burdens she did now.

Sister Dawn smiled warmly, her eyes softening with affection for the woman who had once been the little girl she had cared for. "I'll go with you," she said, her tone reassuring, as if trying to offer Sophia some measure of comfort and support.

Sophia looked at her, but the thought of having someone walk beside her didn't sit well with her. It was as though the journey she was on was something she needed to face alone, even if it meant facing her inner turmoil.

The quiet, solitary moments on the riverside would be the only way she could begin to sort through the whirlwind of emotions that had been building inside her for so long.

She shook her head softly. "No, I want to walk by myself," she said, offering Sister Dawn a small, polite smile. The smile wasn't genuine, though. It didn't reach her eyes, nor did it hold the warmth it was supposed to. Instead, it was a smile tinged with helplessness, a smile that carried the weight of sadness and resignation.

Sister Dawn hesitated, concern flickering in her eyes, but then nodded. She had always known that Sophia was strong-willed and that she needed to face her struggles on her terms. The little girl she had once cared for had grown into a woman with fierce independence, though sometimes it felt like that independence only served to keep her distant from others.

Sophia walked away from the welfare home, the familiar streets and buildings blurring around her as she moved toward the river. The cool air brushed against her face, carrying with it the scent of earth and water. It was the same scent she had known as a child, the same comfort she had once sought in this very place.

As she walked along the riverbank, memories began to flood her mind. The laughter of children playing by the water, the quiet moments when she would sit alone and dream of a life beyond the walls of the welfare home.

She had dreamed of freedom, of a life where she was in control, where she could be herself without fear or shame. But those dreams had been shattered long ago, and now, all she had left were fragments of what could have been.

Her steps slowed as she reached the edge of the water, her reflection staring back at her from the surface. For a moment, she just stood there, staring at the woman in the water, wondering how she had come to this point.

She had built a life for herself, but it wasn't the life she had dreamed of. It was a life dictated by Ethan, by the choices he made, and by the constant pull of the past that refused to let her go.

Sophia closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the sounds of the river, the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. It was soothing, but it couldn't quiet the storm raging inside her. The emotions she had spent years suppressing had come rushing to the surface, and she couldn't escape them.

She felt like a stranger in her own life, lost in the maze of her feelings and memories. The pain of abandonment, the longing for something more, the confusion of trying to understand who she was—everything seemed to collide at that moment, and she felt overwhelmed.

She had spent so much time waiting for Ethan, hoping for closure, but now that she had finally found him, she wasn't sure what she was looking for anymore. Her heart was a tangled mess of emotions, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't untangle it.

She looked out over the water, the sky above her clouded with uncertainty. The weight of the past, of everything she had been through, pressed down on her shoulders, making it hard to breathe. But even in that moment of despair, there was a flicker of hope, a tiny spark that maybe—just maybe— she could still find her way out of the darkness.

Sophia took a deep breath, letting the air fill her lungs as she tried to find some semblance of peace. The journey ahead wouldn't be easy, but for the first time in a long while, she felt like she was beginning to understand that the only way forward was to face her past, to confront the pieces of herself that she had been hiding for so long.

With a final glance at the river, she turned away, determined to move forward, even if she didn't know exactly where that path would lead.