The man who is impotent

I escaped unscathed, it was terrifying when this kind of thing happens. There are cameras everywhere around here, and still, it's not safe. Luckily, I ran into the young janitor.

He was truly a good person.

— So, it's him? — One of the women who had approached my side asked. She wasn't talking to me, but to another girl who worked in the warehouse.

— Yes.

— How do I approach him? — She asked. She was tall, with dark skin, and her hair was curly like a bouquet of flowers. She wore a beige dress. I watched her more than usual because she was really pretty. She smiled confidently.

— Just say hi. — The blonde, the attendant, replied. Her eyes were black, and she had some freckles on her face, wearing her hair in a bun.

— Can I?

— Of course, he's sitting, not doing anything. But, if your intention is to go out with him, I suggest you rethink. He doesn't go out with anyone.

— Is he a radical conservative?

— No... He just doesn't get involved with anything or anyone.

— You're saying he doesn't have sex?

I almost choked. The girl sounded so determined. I carefully searched for the man they were talking about. And, damn, he was looking at me. It was the janitor again, but now he was dressed differently. He was wearing a black dress shirt, looked even younger, and was sitting like he owned the place just a few meters away.

— They say he suffers from impotence. — The woman at the counter answered, and that got me curious. He had told me that he had a trauma, and now this woman was saying he was impotent, which, in a way, makes sense. But, really, why can't he stop looking at me? Is this really true?

— Oh... I give up then. — The girl said, seemingly only interested in satisfying herself.

I got up and walked toward that guy, and his eyes lit up, blatantly. His mouth was slightly open, looking hypnotized. I doubted for a second whether he was really looking at me, but his gaze followed me when I had to dodge a few people.

— Hi, again.

— Hi, I'm sorry about what happened earlier, there are a lot of weird people out there.

— Yeah… but I'm glad I found you, just didn't think it would be so soon… What's your name? — I said as I got closer to his table.

His eyes widened. He shook his head slightly, in disbelief, and his hair moved more than usual.

— Min Jun-Ho.

— Alright, Jun-Ho-shi, there are some people saying strange things about you. — I said, and he nodded, not surprised at all.

— Oh, that's probably true...

— So, you really don't like sex?

His eyes blinked.

— Oh, that. — He sighed with a small laugh. — It's exactly what I said, I haven't had good experiences, so I kept my distance. I don't feel anything, and nothing happens. — His honesty surprised me.

— Are you lying?

— No, it's easier to tell the truth at once. Saves me time, saves me from misunderstandings, and it's not like it's my weakness. It's just a fact.

He has a point.

— Since you're willing to answer my questions... Can I join you?

— Please, don't drink too much, Salin-shi. I still don't know where you live.

— Don't worry, I won't drink anymore. I have no more money.

— Why? Don't you have a job?

— I do, but I also have a debt to pay and a family to support. Everything seems to involve money. — I laughed softly.

— Are you a father?

— No, I'm the oldest son.

— Ah, how sad.

— That's all you have to say, Mr. Janitor?

— I'm not a janitor!

— I know, I've been to your house... That's not the house of a janitor, your room was a mess, you know?

— That doesn't mean anything. I could be a janitor. Have you heard the saying: "In the blacksmith's house, the skewer is made of wood!"

— And yours is broken?

Jun-Ho averted his gaze while I couldn't contain my laughter.

— The guy said you were getting married, is that true? — I asked, curious.

— Oh, no, that's part of my problem. All I have to do is settle down and find true love before autumn. My family thinks I can at least pretend to be normal.

— Sounds like rich family stuff... Why autumn though?

— Because after that, I'll be 25 years old.

— Interesting. — I laughed, it sounded so stupid.

— It's bad. — He confirmed, laughing.

— But, if it's a façade relationship, why is it bad?

— It's because it's not the first attempt. It's tiring.

And I looked at him.

— So, you want to find true love, don't you? — I asked. By his look, he certainly seemed to want that.

— No, not anymore. — He seemed shy.

The serious man who took me home that day, and the one who just saved me with only a command, had nothing to do with this cotton candy in front of me.

— You really gave up trying? — I didn't take my eyes off his, and he started to feel uncomfortable. Shy, he started avoiding looking me in the eyes but not in my mouth.

— Yeah. It's not that simple… — His shyness became adorable to me. With one hand on the back of his neck, he hesitated to look at me before asking. — Why? Still interested? — He asked.

— Well, they were gossiping about you... And I think it's better to ask personally.

I put my hand on my chin and smiled. He had said he wasn't gay... But the way he looks at me, in a way, possessed me. It's impossible that he's not interested in me. I've been gay forever. I know.

— Hm. If I win you over, will you pay my debt?

He looked at me, surprised.

— I would, but can you do it?

— I just need a little time. Don't you agree? — I slightly lifted myself up and got closer to his face.

— M-maybe. — He entered a mild state of panic, I guess he didn't expect me to do that, but he didn't move, his look was curious, waiting to see what I would do.

— Do you want to kiss me? — I asked.

— I... I'm not good with initiations. I don't like contact... But...

— If you allow me. — I said. I looked at his lips, they were red with a piercing at the corner. I just got closer, testing, only testing what he would say. I kissed him, touching his lips. He seemed confused, like someone who hadn't understood the concept of "kiss," but soon let me kiss him with my tongue, and then, he reciprocated the gesture. I leaned in more, and he pulled back as if I couldn't touch him with my hands. Damn, what a good kiss, like he was naturally a dominant type. I was almost on top of the table and would have gotten on all fours. It was confusing at this point, he seemed to have all the skills of a good kisser, but he was insecure and didn't spark a fire. He just followed my rhythm, but it was good. I even closed my eyes, and when I opened them, he had closed his too. I stopped kissing him. If I kept going, maybe I'd want what he apparently couldn't give me, but I left him with one last kiss after the first one, once he opened his eyes. Then I smiled, pulling away.

He didn't say anything, just stood there, occasionally looking at me while he regained his breath. Seeing his silence, I asked him. He seemed scared.

— What's wrong?

— Why… how did you kiss me? That was crazy.

— I thought you didn't feel anything. — He confirmed with a nod, biting his lips. I smiled, he was an interesting person.

— You shouldn't do that...

— I have a feeling you liked it... Don't get mad at me, Jun-Ho-ah, but the people here might think you're gay from today on. But look at the bright side, not everything is lost. — He slowly nodded, and while I admired those bright black eyes, I received a phone call. — I have to go, this time, I have a friend to take me. I'll see you next time, if I survive.