Nico's Regret

Nico exhaled slowly, his voice growing hoarser with the weight of his words. "My mother... she always believed in me," he said, his tone almost a whisper. "She often asked about my studies, about how I planned to build my future. She had so much hope for me. But..." Nico swallowed hard, fighting back a wave of emotion. "...when I started college, my younger sibling gave up their dreams just so I could continue mine. And I..." He paused, his eyes glistening, "...could only give her a bitter smile whenever she asked."

He rubbed his face with his hands, as if trying to erase the painful memories. "Eventually, I realized I had to go back to campus. I had to try to fix everything—for my mother, for my sibling."

Nico bit his lip, holding back tears that now threatened to spill. "But when I returned... it was too late. My friends were on the brink of graduation, while I..." His voice grew heavier, "...received a dismissal letter. I was expelled from college."

He fell silent, letting the words hang in the air. "At that moment, I felt like my world had completely collapsed. I isolated myself, cut off contact with everyone I knew, and moved to Hokkaido. I worked not to build a future but just to survive. My days were filled with loneliness. As I grew older, I sank deeper into despair."

Nico's gaze was vacant, staring into the dark void of the night. The silence felt suffocating, like a quiet that concealed a million unheard screams.

"In my thirties," Nico began again, his voice soft as if speaking to himself, "I saw a college friend make the list of the top ten most successful young people. He owned a thriving company. It felt... like being slapped repeatedly by reality."

A bitter smile formed on his face, unable to hide the tears now streaming down his cheeks. "My ex-girlfriend? She married a successful businessman. My former coworker from high school? He's now a director at his company. And me? I'm just... left far behind, mourning lost time."

Nico chuckled softly, but it sounded more like an open wound. "There was one job I thought could be my last chance to rise. The requirement? You had to be under 35. I kept postponing, thinking I still had time, that I could wait until I was mentally stable, ready to live like a normal person again. But..."

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to hold back the surge of emotions threatening to explode. His voice quivered, matching the weight of his deep breaths. "When I was finally ready to move forward, I was already 36. That opportunity was gone. I'd lost everything."

Silence took over. The cold night wind pierced through the air, yet it couldn't extinguish the fiery emotions that hung heavily around them. Arga sat across from Nico, his gaze fixed on him without a word. The wound was too deep, too dark, and no words could reach its depths.

Nico took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, as if trying to release some of the weight crushing his chest. "I wanted to give up back then. Not because I didn't want to try anymore, but because I was just too tired of chasing something that kept slipping away. I just wanted… to try living, even though I wasn't sure if it would ever be enough for me."

His gaze fell on the cup in his hands. He turned it slowly, as though searching for answers in the dark liquid. His voice grew quieter, almost lost amidst the silence. "As I grow older, I've realized I have nothing left. My friends have succeeded, building careers, families, and the lives I always dreamed of but never truly fought for. Every day feels like a recurring nightmare, filled with endless regrets. And I… I feel like my life is completely meaningless."

He swallowed hard, trying to control the lump of emotions in his throat. "Until, finally, I decided to end it all."

Nico slowly lifted his head, staring straight ahead with a blank expression, as if reliving that moment. "I stood on a bridge, looking down at the Ishikari River below. With absolute certainty, I jumped. But I miscalculated. My body hit a large rock at the bottom of the river, and my leg broke. The pain… was unbearable. I was tossed around, dragged by the rushing water, trapped between the excruciating physical pain and the void that devoured my soul."

He took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady, though the memory clearly tore him apart from within. "When I regained consciousness, I was in a hospital. The doctor said my leg had to be amputated. The despair I felt was beyond words. I had no money to pay the hospital bills, let alone the cost of the surgery. At that moment, I truly felt like everything was over."

Nico paused for a moment. His lips trembled as he continued, his voice breaking mid-sentence. "I tried to end my life again, even in that hospital bed. But the nurses stopped me. They tied my hands and sedated me until I fell asleep. However, just before the anesthesia took away my consciousness, I heard one sentence from a nurse nearby. 'Someone has already paid for it.' That's what I heard."

He lowered his head, staring at his trembling hands as if he could still feel the restraints. "Who was that kind person? To this day, I don't know. I've never found out. But after that… I'm here now."

Silence enveloped them once more. Only the sound of the wind could be heard, replacing the words they couldn't bring themselves to say. The shadows of Nico's past hung in the air, filling the space between them with an unspoken sorrow. Yet beneath it all, there was a question lingering, waiting for an answer that might never come.

A faint smile appeared on Nico's face, even as tears began to well up in his eyes. "The strangest thing is… my leg healed. The doctors couldn't explain it, but look." Nico gently stomped his foot on the ground and gave a bittersweet smile. "I can feel it. My leg is back to normal, even though they said it would need to be amputated. I don't know what really happened, but I take it as a sign. A sign that my life isn't over and that God has given me a second chance, a reason to keep going."