Breaking point

The silence lingered, stretching long enough to make Damian uncomfortable. He stood frozen, his chest still heaving from the kiss, his mind racing. He wanted to say something—anything—to break the weight of the moment, but words felt insufficient.

Alex's gaze hadn't softened. He didn't look sorry. He didn't look confused either. It was like he was waiting for Damian to respond, but in that silence, it felt like a test. A challenge.

Damian opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of what to say. His head spun with a thousand thoughts, each one more tangled than the last. What was he supposed to say after that? Was he supposed to be angry? Confused? Was he even allowed to be any of those things?

Alex's eyes flicked over to the street, his posture relaxing just a fraction. "I didn't… I didn't think you'd kiss me back."

Damian's heart skipped a beat. He'd kissed back. Fuck. He hadn't meant to—hadn't even realized it until the heat of Alex's lips was gone and the cold night air bit at his skin.

"Neither did I," Damian muttered, his voice hoarse. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to regain some semblance of control. It didn't help. His pulse was still thrumming in his veins, his thoughts still tangled around the kiss like a goddamn knot.

Alex tilted his head slightly, that familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "You sure about that?"

Damian met his gaze, his chest tightening again. "You think I wanted to kiss you?" His words came out sharper than he intended, but it wasn't like Alex wasn't used to this side of him. Damian's frustration had always come out in waves. "You kissed me. You made the decision."

Alex's smirk faded, and for a brief moment, Damian could see something—something that almost looked like guilt—in his eyes.

"I didn't think it'd go like that," Alex said quietly. "I just… I don't know." He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground. "I guess I just wanted to see if you felt it too."

Damian's stomach twisted. "Felt what, Alex? You know what's at risk here, right? You can't just do that and pretend it's nothing."

Alex's eyes darted back up to him, now sharper. "Who the hell says I'm pretending it's nothing?"

Damian took a deep breath. "You are pretending. You always do this—push everything until it gets too damn messy, and then you walk away when things get real." He didn't mean for it to come out so bitter, but there it was, the raw truth.

Alex stiffened, his jaw clenching. "You think I'm running away?"

Damian didn't answer right away. He could feel his walls going up again, like they always did when things got too heavy. The anger felt easier to hold than the uncertainty swirling inside him. "You do it every time, Alex. You act like everything's a joke until you realize you've fucked up, and then you act like nothing happened."

Alex's expression hardened, his eyes narrowing. "So that's what you think? That I don't care? That it was just some fucking joke to me?"

The words hit like a punch. Damian swallowed, trying to breathe through the burn in his chest. "I didn't say that."

Alex stepped forward, closing the space between them in an instant, his voice low and intense. "Then what the fuck are you saying, Damian?"

Damian couldn't look at him—he couldn't do it. If he looked at Alex now, he might fall apart. "I'm saying we can't do this. We can't just keep pretending everything's okay when it's not."

Alex's gaze softened just a little, but it was enough to make Damian's heart ache. "You don't think I know that? You don't think I see what this is doing to us?"

Damian opened his mouth to argue, but Alex beat him to it, his voice quieter now. "I'm not going anywhere, alright? I'm not running. I just… I just need you to stop acting like you don't want this. Like you don't want me."

Damian froze. The words hung in the air between them, hanging on a thread. For a moment, neither of them moved, the weight of everything pulling them both down into the ground.

Alex exhaled sharply, taking another step closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what the hell this is either, but I'm not going to back down now. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

Damian's heart beat so loudly in his ears that he couldn't hear anything else. He wanted to say something—wanted to scream, to push Alex away, but everything felt too raw, too real. Instead, he stayed silent, letting Alex's words sink in, wondering if he had the strength to say what they both needed to hear.