Chapter 4
Arriving at the forest entrance, I undress, fold my clothes and hid it under a bush. I immediately shift, bones cracking and vision shifting. I never get used to the feeling. It doesn't hurt anymore but it's surely not comfortable.
My wolf is big, bigger than most female. I'm almost as big as the males, which concerned me when I was younger. I wanted to feel small besides the males, I wanted to feel feminine. My scars mapping my body are visible because of the loss of hair on it. That too concerned me, but now I just don't care. My coat is reddish, with some brown and white here and there. My eyes are blue, indicating that both my parents are dead. I didn't know my father, since he died before I was born, and my mother died when I was fourteen, leaving me alone. She was attacked by three males. They knew she was able to conceive, so they all take their turns on her. I was at school at this moment and when I came back, she was not there. After weeks, her body was found in a creek. She suffered from lots of injuries everywhere, and the police said that they believe she was raped again and again, and then disposed of when they found that she couldn't get pregnant. It was a rough time. My mother was everything I could've dream of. Soft, funny, patient, understanding and there. Really there. Until she wasn't and I needed to fend for myself.
I have no brother or sister, no extended family. It's the same year my mother died that I found Mary and her sister. They were also alone, so we found an abandoned warehouse that we lived in for almost ten years. It was rough but we found peace and joy in the little things. I was always looking back, fearing that the same guys that kidnapped my mother would take me or my friends. But they never came back.
Memories rush through my brain, and my heart started pounding. Anger. Sadness. I didn't want it, so I tried grounding myself, closing my eyes. The wind went through my coat, bringing pine, earth and water scent in my nose. I stilled for a second, embracing the feeling. The life. Hearing the bugs, the birds, the leaves. Feeling the earth and the grass under my paws.
And then, I began running. Where I didn't know, I just wanted to run, to escape. Escape a life that was not a life. A life that wasn't fitting, like when you put borrowed too small clothes. The leaves and the branches cracked under my bug paws. The birds went flapping in the sky when they felt me approaching. I feelt my muscles working, my blood pumping. Dodging the trees and the branches, I finally reach the river. The strong current crashing on the rocks was merciless. But I knew a spot where the current didn't reach, like a small pool of clear water. I love to swim there, the water was cold. I needed to be numb. I shifted back and went naked in the water. My skin had goosebumps all over and my nipples hardened immediately. My skin was so pale that I felt like I was as translucent as the water. I went under, feeling the cold reach my bones and my hair flowing around. I stayed there until I didn't feel my toes anymore.
On my way back, a strange scent gutted my nostrils. My wolf ears didn't detect anything. The scent, it was… I don't know… like coffee, sunlight and dark chocolate. It was intoxicating. I wanted to follow it, but I needed to come back now if I didn't want to be late for my afternoon with Mary. With a last look at where I smelled the scent, I began running to where I left my clothes. I shifted back and quickly dressed, my hair fully dried. I didn't want to linger, we never know.
I walked in the streets, trying to go as fast as I could. I HATE being late. I don't want others to worry. We have enough worries in this life. We don't need unecessary ones. People went out while I was in the forest enjoying myself. It's starting to be uncomfortable, crowded, suffocating. I hurry, now with a newfound extra motivation.
I finally reach Rose's. Mary is waiting outside, flirting with a male. She's laughing and touching his biceps, visibly faking to be impressed.
« Hey Mary! You are ready? »
« Oh Alee! Yes, yes I am! Meet Harry, he is Chad's brother! »
« Hi Harry, bye Harry. »
« Boooo, what a buzz killer! Ok Harry I'll call you another time! Maybe we could meet up at the gathering? I'll be the shiny and sexy one! »
« I can't wait princess ». He winked and press his lips on her cheek. I have a little of bile rolling on my tongue and crochet my arm to hers. She smiled and put her head on my shoulder, walking slowly with me.
« I miss her so much ». She said it with a sad smile and a sigh.
« I know… me too… I'm here for you, you know that right? »
« I know, but you have your own problems and I know you are grieving her yourself. I won't say no to a pyjama party tho. Are you working this week? »
« Yeah, I need money. Andrew is bothering me to work next Saturday »
« NO YOU CAN'T! You NEED to come or else I won't go either! »
« Don't panic, I said no like a thousand times already. I will continue so. I like gatherings. It's the only other thing I love besides you », I say, squeezing her arm.