Chapter 41: What Is Loneliness?

The urgent guitar solo, like a sudden downpour on a summer day, strikes at everyone's heart.

Bocchi's delicate voice can't quite compare to the powerful vocals of Kita, who has performed on stage many times as a lead vocalist.

However, in the audience, no one can ignore the heart-wrenching emotion in her voice.

And from this song, Minami, who understands them the most, can hear the inner struggle, regret, monologue, and accusation from Bocchi.

"I don't want to be depressed and stop because of my timidity anymore..."

"I've had enough of being alone..."

"Can you hear me..."

"I don't want to live under a gloomy sky anymore, I want to talk to someone actively, I don't want to pretend I enjoy being lonely!"

"Can you hear me?!"

Through her fragile voice, it was as if Minami could really see it.

She saw her in class, watching others chat but only able to sit at her desk in a daze.

She saw her sitting alone on a swing in the park.

She saw her, curled up in a closet at night, sliding her fingers across the phone screen.

She saw her look back after the band had finished playing, watching their departing figures.

She saw her only able to wave goodbye when their backs were turned.

She had always wanted to escape the shadow of social anxiety.

"Is social anxiety so interesting? Is it fun to watch me embarrass myself because of it?!"

She screamed in frustration.

Minami saw it.

During the performance, sweat dripped down her pale cheek.

It scattered across the stage.

Like shining stars.

So beautiful.

When the entire song came to an end.

The audience was silent.

Only her monologue.

Only her song.

All emotion, no technique.

And yet, it was so captivating.

The applause began with one person, then two.

Soon, as if infected, the entire venue was filled with thunderous applause!

[You had been watching her, and now your eyes were filled with tears.]

[You had always been watching her, but you never realized that she had been struggling with the shadow of social anxiety, troubled, and accusing herself for it.]

[You once asked her what loneliness is. She thought for a long time and then answered you.]

"I took a shower, changed into new clothes, but I don't know where to go, or who to talk to."

"Maybe that's loneliness."

[You raised your head and couldn't help but imagine, what would have happened if she hadn't joined the Kessoku Band?]

[If she hadn't joined the band, after high school, she would have quickly found a job through her parents' introduction. Under the whip of society, she would have gradually become depressed. She would have cut her hair short, changed into clothes she could wear outside, and her "Guitar Hero" account would have been abandoned long ago. The guitar in the corner would be covered in dust, and she would live each day the same as the last, unable to look anyone in the eye, shrinking away from life.]

[The performance of the Kessoku Band ended. After the intense atmosphere created by Bocchi, it abruptly stopped.]

[But the people present didn't feel regret.]

[The next day, "I Don't Want to Die in Loneliness" was named one of the top ten must-listen rock songs of the century by the famous Japanese music magazine "Rock in Japan."]

[Major record companies sent various contracts with generous terms.]

[But you had no time to care about those things.]

[The day after the performance, Bocchi confessed to you.]

[In front of you, her voice was still as delicate as ever.]

[Only then did you realize that "I Don't Want to Die in Loneliness" was a song created by the entire Kessoku Band together.]

[It was her monologue to you.]

[But this made you even more surprised. You weren't an idiot, nor were you a socially awkward light novel protagonist. You knew that it wasn't just Bocchi—perhaps Yamada Ryo, Ijichi Nijika, and Kita Ikuyo all had feelings for you... perhaps even now.]

[In response to your surprise, Yamada Ryo remained cold and elegant, Ijichi Nijika and Kita Ikuyo both showed playful and cute smiles.]

[They knew the one you liked was her, and how could they bear to force you to stay by their side?]

[It was time to let you go. They seemed to have come to terms with it and told you so.]

[You looked at them, no more words, and turned your head to accept Bocchi's confession.]

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[That day, Yamada Ryo lay in bed, unable to sleep for a long time, your photo glowing in her eyes.]

[That day, Ijichi Nijika buried her head in Ijichi Seika's arms and cried for a long time.]

[That day, Kita Ikuyo chatted with her friends until late into the night.]

[You and Bocchi officially started dating.]

[Her personality had improved; she could now look others in the eye, and she no longer stuttered when speaking.]

[Your family was overjoyed by the news that your girlfriend was Bocchi. She was so well-behaved and understanding that she quickly won the approval of your parents and sister.]

[The Kessoku Band's activities continued, and after performing at the Budokan, they became a national rock band with countless fans.]

[At a press conference, Bocchi announced your relationship and the fact that you two were already engaged.]

[Under the spotlight, she held your hand with the engagement ring, and for the first time, she showed a happy smile.]

[Taking advantage of the hype, reporters also didn't forget to ask Yamada Ryo and the other Kessoku Band members about who they liked.]

[In response, they just exchanged glances, then smiled faintly and shook their heads, saying nothing.]

[Their reluctance to reveal anything caught the attention of several reporters, and soon paparazzi began investigating the Kessoku Band.]

[But their investigation quickly hit a dead end. The only man the Kessoku Band ever interacted with was you. There was hardly any record of them chatting with other men, and even gossip was hard to uncover.]

[After a month of intense investigation, the paparazzi reluctantly gave up on their inquiry into the Kessoku Band.]

[The members of the Kessoku Band's love interests gradually became the subject of urban legends.]

[During this time, thanks to the popularity of "I Don't Want to Die in Loneliness," the Kessoku Band's fanbase surged exponentially.]

[You became part of a national band!]

[Countless people expressed their love for you, your concert tickets were sold out instantly, and your albums flew off the shelves as soon as they were released.]

[And just when your career had reached its peak, something significant happened within the Kessoku Band.]

[You and Bocchi got married.]

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