vaguely

I groaned, feeling a throbbing pain in my head. I slowly sat up, trying to remember what had happened the night before. As I looked around, I realized I was in my own room. I must have made it back home safely.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, feeling a wave of dizziness wash over me. I stumbled to the kitchen, desperate for a drink to alleviate my parched throat. As I waited for the kettle to boil, I tried to piece together the events of the previous night.

But as the memories started to flood back, I felt my face grow hot with embarrassment. Oh God, what had I done? I had begged Julian to sleep with me, and when he refused, I had tried to seduce him anyway.

I cringed at the memory of my behavior. What had I been thinking? I didn't even know Julian that well, and yet I had thrown myself at him like a slut.

As I sipped my hangover soup, I couldn't help but wonder what Julian must think of me. Had he been disgusted by my behavior? Did he think I was some kind of easy lay?

I felt a pang of regret and shame. Why had I been so reckless? I knew I had been drinking too much, but I had let my inhibitions get the better of me.

As I continued to relive the events of the previous night, I remembered the way Julian had kissed me. It had been a soft, gentle kiss, but it had sent shivers down my spine.

And then I remembered the way he had pulled back, his eyes reddening in the streetlight. "You're a good kisser, but you're drunk," he had said. "You need to go home."

I felt a surge of gratitude towards Julian. He had been a perfect gentleman, even when I had been behaving like a total slut.

As I finished my soup, I realized that Julian must have brought me home safely. I vaguely remembered telling him my address, and him helping me into my apartment.

I felt a pang of embarrassment again, wondering what Julian must have thought of my apartment. Was it messy? Did I have any embarrassing items lying around?

But as I looked around my apartment, I realized that it was spotless. Julian must have tidied up before he left.

I felt a surge of gratitude towards him again. He had been so kind and considerate, even when I had been behaving like a total mess.

As I sat on my couch, feeling more and more grateful towards Julian, I realized that I owed him an apology. I had behaved appallingly the night before, and he had been nothing but kind and gentlemanly.

I made a mental note to apologize to Julian as soon as possible. I didn't know how I was going to face him again, but I knew I had to try.

~~~~

I reached for my phone, my fingers trembling as I dialed Julian's number. But before I could even call him, I saw a message from him, sent two days ago.

"Sorry I couldn't make it work, had me tied down. I promise to make it up to you."

I felt a pang of guilt and embarrassment. Julian had texted me when he couldn't make it to our coffee date, and I hadn't even remembered. I had been so caught up in my own world, I hadn't even bothered to respond.

I felt a surge of anxiety as I waited for Julian to pick up. The phone rang, but there was no response. I tried again, but still, no answer.

Did he hate me now? Had I blown it with him? I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease as I wondered what Julian thought of me.

I decided to send him a text instead, hoping he would respond. "Hey Julian, I'm so sorry about last night. I was completely out of line, and I'm deeply sorry for my behavior."

I waited anxiously for a response, but my phone remained silent. I sighed, feeling defeated. Maybe I had blown it with Julian. Maybe he didn't want anything to do with me.

But as I sat there, feeling sorry for myself, I heard a knock on the door. I got up to answer it, hoping against hope that it might be Julian.

As I opened the door, my heart skipped a beat. It was Julian, standing in my doorway with a concerned expression on his face.

"Hey, I got your text," he said, his eyes scanning my face. "I wanted to make sure you're okay."

I felt a surge of relief and gratitude towards him. He didn't hate me. He still cared.

"I'm so sorry about last night," I said, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

Julian smiled and stepped forward, his arms opening wide. "You don't have to apologize, Lexi. I know you were drunk. And even if you weren't, I'm flattered."

I felt a surge of emotion as I stepped into his arms, feeling a sense of safety and security. Maybe, just maybe, I hadn't blown it with Julian after all.