10. The Lich's Lament

Lich Xandros was having a bad day. His army was destroyed, his faithful companion Steve was now just a head, and he was stuck in a cage being tortured by a holy mage. The holy light and prayers were like a never-ending barrage of annoying buzzing in his ears.

"Ugh, can you please just stop?" Lich Xandros begged, covering his ears with his hands.

Steve's head, which was sitting on the floor next to the cage, chuckled. "You're not exactly in a position to be making demands, Xandros."

Lich Xandros glared at Steve's head. "This is all your fault, you know. If you hadn't gotten yourself decapitated, I might have been able to escape."

Steve's head shrugged. "Hey, at least I'm still talking. You're the one who's getting cooked like a rotisserie chicken."

The holy mage, who was standing outside the cage, smiled sweetly. "Don't worry, Lich Xandros. This is just the beginning of your purification process."

Lich Xandros rolled his eyes. "Purification process? You mean the process of driving me insane with boredom and holy light?"

Just then, King Arinn walked into the room, a look of determination on his face. "Lich Xandros, I've been told that you might know something about the whereabouts of Eryndor. Tell me, where is he?"

Lich Xandros sneered. "Eryndor? Ha! That little thief is the reason I'm in this predicament. He snuck into my lair, stole my treasures, and used my own teleportation spell against me. I'll never forgive him."

The king's eyes narrowed. "I see. And why should I believe you?"

Lich Xandros shrugged. "Because I'm telling the truth. And because I hate Eryndor just as much as you do. We should work together to capture him."

The king raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so. You're an evil lich, and I'm not about to form an alliance with you."

Lich Xandros scowled. "Fine. But you're making a big mistake. Eryndor is a slippery one, and you'll never catch him without my help."

The king turned to Commander Grimbold. "Take the lich to prison. He might prove useful later."

As Lich Xandros was being dragged away, he overheard two soldiers talking. "I heard Eryndor is called the bad luck magnet. People avoid him like the plague."

Lich Xandros's eyes widened. "The bad luck magnet? Ha! I think I know what that means. Steve, do you think Eryndor is the apostle of Zorvath, the god of bad luck?"

Steve's head chuckled. "Well, it would explain a lot. I mean, who else could make a lich's life so miserable?"

Lich Xandros grinned. "I'll get you, Eryndor. Oh, yes. I'll get you, and I'll make you pay for what you've done to me."

Steve's head laughed. "You're not exactly in a position to be making threats, Xandros. But hey, I'm rooting for you. Maybe you can finally get your revenge and become the luckiest lich in the world."

Lich Xandros's grin faltered. "You're not helping, Steve."