Chapter 24: Cracks in the shell

The atmosphere in the room was strangely light, despite the heavy weight Rei was carrying in his chest. Hana and Yuuto had settled in comfortably on the couch, chatting away like they had all the time in the world. Their voices blended together in a hum, but it didn't reach Rei's ears. He was lost in his own thoughts, his mind spinning in circles, trying to keep track of every little word, every little gesture.

He had told himself that he wouldn't get attached. That these fleeting moments of connection weren't real. People only wanted something from him, and he wasn't about to let his guard down.

But the way Yuuto laughed, the way Hana's eyes softened when she spoke to him... it was different. Not like Mei. Not like the others. But still, the doubt gnawed at him.

What do they want?

He picked at the sleeve of his shirt, his fingers absently tugging at the fabric. His mind kept circling back to their words, their actions. He had been alone for so long, and now they were here, talking to him, caring about him. But was it real?

"Rei, are you even listening?" Yuuto's voice broke through his haze, pulling him back to the present.

Rei blinked, feeling the sharpness of the moment hit him. "Yeah, sorry," he said quickly, his voice strained.

Hana raised an eyebrow, studying him. "You sure? You've been quiet this whole time."

Rei's gaze flickered between them. He could feel the heat of their attention on him, a pressure he wasn't sure how to deal with. Was it too much? Was he overthinking this? He had been alone for so long, used to his own silence. Now, people were filling it, and it was unsettling.

"I'm fine," he muttered, pushing himself up from his seat and heading toward the window. The view outside was as quiet as always, the trees swaying gently in the wind. The world seemed so distant from the noise inside his head.

Yuuto's voice came from behind him. "You don't have to hide, you know."

Rei stiffened, a flare of unease rising in his chest. Hide? His fingers twitched at his sides.

"I'm not hiding," Rei said, forcing the words out. "I'm just... thinking."

"You don't have to think so much," Hana chimed in, her tone light but carrying a weight that Rei couldn't ignore. "We're here, Rei. It's okay to relax."

But could he? Could he really? He wasn't sure anymore.

Hana and Yuuto didn't know what it was like to walk in his shoes. They didn't know what it felt like to watch people come and go, to have people pretend to care just to get something from him. They didn't know what it was like to feel so... disconnected from everyone.

He exhaled slowly, turning back to them. Both of them were looking at him with an expression he didn't fully understand. Concern, maybe? But what did it mean? Was it real?

"Thanks," Rei said, though the words felt empty as soon as they left his mouth. He wasn't sure why he said it. Maybe it was just easier to give them something, even if it wasn't the truth.

Yuuto tilted his head. "You sure? You don't have to do this alone, you know."

Rei froze. His heart skipped a beat, the familiar feeling of vulnerability rising up inside him. His thoughts spun out of control. Why are they so persistent?

Slowly, he sat back down, his body tense as he tried to keep his emotions in check. He couldn't let them see how much they unsettled him. He couldn't let them know how easily he could spiral.

He forced himself to focus on their words, trying to make sense of them, but it was hard. His thoughts were always one step ahead, racing forward, trying to predict every possible outcome. Trying to figure out what they wanted from him.

"Do you have any plans for the weekend?" Hana asked, her voice drawing Rei's attention back to her.

Rei shook his head, the simple question feeling like an anchor in the sea of confusion. "No, not really."

"You should hang out with us," Yuuto suggested, his tone light, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "It'll be fun. You need to stop thinking so much. Just... enjoy being with people."

Rei didn't know how to respond. Part of him wanted to say yes, wanted to just give in and let the noise of the world swallow him up. But another part of him—the part that had learned to distrust, to guard himself against others—wanted to refuse.

What are they really offering me?

His fingers twitched, a slow, subconscious movement. He hadn't even realized he was doing it until Hana spoke up again.

"Rei?" Her voice was softer this time, more tentative. "Are you okay?"

He met her gaze, forcing his expression to stay neutral. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just... tired."

Yuuto raised an eyebrow, not quite believing him. "Tired? From what?"

Rei hesitated. He didn't want to explain. He didn't want to tell them how exhausting it was to be constantly on edge, to keep his emotions buried, to keep people at arm's length. It was easier to just pretend, easier to hide behind a mask.

"It's nothing," he said finally, brushing it off. "I'll be fine."

But the moment the words left his lips, a part of him knew they weren't true. It wasn't fine. None of it was. And he didn't know how much longer he could keep pretending.

Yuuto seemed to sense the shift in the air, and for a moment, his easy smile faltered. But only for a second. "Alright," he said, his voice quieter than before. "Just... don't shut us out, okay?"

Rei looked at him, his heart pounding in his chest. Yuuto's words echoed in his mind, but Rei pushed them away. He couldn't afford to let anyone get too close. Not again.

"I won't," Rei said, but even as he spoke the words, he wasn't sure he believed them.