In the end, promises are just words!!

To: griffincaleb@gmail.com 

From: Skylarlodge@gmail.com 

Re: Therapy 

I just can't seem to catch a break.

Da- I mean Peter has been banging in my door consistently for the past their twenty minutes claiming he wants to have a word with me - undoubtedly for making his little girl cry 

I am almost out of brandy and in no mood to talk to him. I hear him mumble something about getting an extra key and take that act as my cue to leave.

I stumbled my way to the bathroom. Despite having my own house I still had to sneak out to avoid getting caught leaving the house by my mom through the main house kitchen window.

I shimmy out of the bathroom window, thankful for the suburban neighborhood. It is very peaceful and safe.

I walk with no particular direction but end up at the library I work at staring at the restaurant.

Martin is running around serving the customers and I take a minute to study him, without him knowing I am around.

He is smiling but I can see the exhaustion even from here. But I can't tell if it's just a today thing or a normal thing. But how would I when he basically never let me know him.

I imagine that today would be a bring your daughter to work day and I would be running around in my eight year old self trying to see the customers, as Aliysha keeps shouting that this is not how bring your daughter to work day is supposed to go.

I laughed at the thought. For a minute I let myself enjoy what could have been my life. The fights Aliysha and I would have gotten into. The arguments I would have had with my father. The boyfriends I would have cried over. The prom dresses that Aliysha and I would have worn. The family game night we would have played.

But,

That would mean that I didn't know Erik, and that can never happen. Erik is my best friend, my soul mate.

A new memory sneaks its way to the front of my brain.

It was the first time I got suspended. I never thought much about it but now I see it with a new light. It was also the first time I talked to my father.

I was ten and Carrie about eleven and a half. A stupid bully boy called Derek was in her class and loved preying on girls. Kissing them or touching them inappropriately then making a joke out of it.

I was supposed to be in my gym class, but I didn't like how the boys love to make fun of me cause I looked like a boy, so I always skipped it.

I was hidding out in a fifth grade class munching on skittles that I managed to smuggle out of the house when I had Carrie yelling. Racing over to where she was, I find Derek the bully pinning her against the locker trying to steal a kiss. I walk to them, landing a punch on Derek's stupid face. I hear his jaw locking as he falls down, spitting out blood.

"How dare you?" He yells attracting attention.

Just as certain as I was about getting a suspension after a teacher came up to us, so certain was I that he was just some stupid afraid kid that picked on others cause he was bigger but didn't have the balls to actually fight.

I got sent to the principal's office while Derek was escorted to the infirmary 

I waited for almost twenty minutes for one of my parents to come pick me up, when a god walked in.

He wasn't really a god just a tall good looking man in t-shirt and jeans

He sat next to me, and I moved around on my seat trying to put space between us.

"Hey. Why are you here and not in class?" he asks.

"Am waiting for mum or dad to come pick me up," I squeak.

This is so bizarre, nobody really wants to talk to me unless they have to.

"Why?"

"Because I punched a boy,"

He laughs at that. "Why?"

"He was making Carrie uncomfortable," 

"Mr. Lodge?" the principal interrupts.

"I will try to tell the principal that the boy was at fault," he whispers before following the principal to his office.

Not too long after Erik comes to pick me up having been suspended from school also.

*******

"Get out of the way," an old woman walking her dog yells at me bringing me back to the present.

Martin is still serving and hasn't taken notice of me, which I am thankful for.

I looked at him one last time before leaving sure of one thing; he has always been there, whether I knew it or not.

~~~~~~~

Rolling onto the ice with my team,I am more nervous than I have ever been. My hands are all clammy and I can feel myself dripping sweat onto the armor.I try calming myself but nothing works.

It's five pm and our game is about to start. Our opponents are already on the ice ready to play. We greet them as we get into positions,

Liz passes by whispering, "you are okay. Play like you do at practice," her attempt at calming me down doesn't help. Am tempted to tell her that I don't play center during practice.

The people watching us play can hardly be considered a crowd. The fewer numbers make it easy to spot Amelia, Mark, Aliysha, and Erik. I look around trying to spot my father but I don't see his giant self anywhere.

I am more than disappointed that he couldn't make it. Out of everyone I really hoped he would be here. It won't be the same without having him with the crowd cheering me on.

The guys shot me thumbs up as the first period began.

By the second period break I was sweating and pissed off. We are already behind by five goals despite the work Liz and I are putting in, but the rest of the team doesn't give a rats ass. They aren't even trying to show they would rather be anywhere than here.

"Girls, I know we're better than this. We've put in too much work to play like we don't care. So shake it off, reset, and let's go out there and play our game. No more half-effort—let's grind, support each other, and turn this around. We got this!"

"So what if the female hockey program will be cancelled? Let's give it our absolute best all the way to the end," I just can't stop myself from saying.

"You heard her, let's give it our best," the coach says, and the whole team choruses a yay while skating back on ice.

As we are already behind we stick to defence for the last period managing to score a goal with an assist from the captain.

We skate to the locker rooms, cheering and screams following us, as we bubble in excitement.

We are on for the next game.

The adrenaline stays with me all the way through the shower and the talk from the coach. By the time I meet up with the guys I am more than ready to drink and party for our success.

"Oh my God, Sis you played amazing," Aliysha hugs me.

"Thanks. Where's dad?" I whisper hugging her back.

"Couldn't make it," she pulls away.

"That's my baby sister," Erik gives me a high-five before ruffling my hair.

"Ready to party?"

"No, I have an early morning meeting. But we definitely have to celebrate tomorrow evening,"

Am about to ask him to stay for a while when Mark comes over and pulls me away, with Erik turning to talk to Amelia.

"What's wrong?" All my questions went unanswered as Mark continued to pull me in the direction of a dam around school that has a willow tree growing near it.The willow tree is a majestic tree with long, graceful branches that cascade toward the ground. The tree stands beside a tranquil dam, its reflection shimmering in the calm water against the setting sun.

"I don't get paid to do this," Mark says when we get to the willow tree and leaves.

On the ground is a blanket with a picnic basket, and Caleb standing on the other side. He looks stunning against the setting sun, dressed in white dress shirt and light wash jeans.

"What are you doing here?" He has a game in the next two hours.

"You played beautifully, and congrats on the goal," he walks over and pulls me into a hug.

He smells amazing, his fragrance is a perfect balance of fresh citrus, warm spice, and deep woody notes. 

"You watched the game?"

"Yeah, through my phone. Didn't want to miss your first game,"

"Thanks," I am full on melting against him.

"Thought we would have dinner together," he pulls away and sits in the blanket.

Mirroring his actions, I can't help but wonder why he is here and not in Chicago.

"I made us spaghetti and minced meat - well tried to but I ended up burning everything, so Mark helped," he plates the food along with a cheap wine.

"Sorry, the wine might not be good, I didn't have enough money to get a better wine," he smiles nervously.

I take a sip of the wine," it's not that bad, and this is amazing, Caleb,"

"Thank God. I was worried you wouldn't like it," he nervously chuckled.

Immediately dig into my food famished from the game.

"This still doesn't explain why you are here,"

"I…I don't think they need me,"

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, in all the practice games we have, I am always benched. So I didn't think it would matter if I was there or not,"

I turned to him, taking his hand in mine," would you have left your team alone even if you weren't playing?" He starts drawing circles in my palm.

"No of course not," he answers immediately.

"Then the same should apply to the Bulls. You are part of that team, and your time will come, you just have to be a little patient," 

He doesn't say anything, just staring at me. About to speak out he pulls me towards him linking our mouths.

Am shocked, I am excited. I have no idea what to do so I stay still. He pulls away and I almost whine at the loss of contact.

"Am so sorry, I shouldn't have done that without your permission," I can see the hurt in his eyes. He thinks I don't want him.

I move to him and kiss him. Trying to mirror the actions of most of the romance movies I have watched. He takes over, kissing me gently as he runs his fingers from my cheeks to my neck.

I hold onto his arm, the smell of him intoxicating, the feelings dizzying.

A cough from behind me pulls us away. "We have to go if you want to make it to your game on time," Luca says.

"I will call you after the game," he plays a chaste kiss on my lips before getting up.

I just nod my head as I watch him go.

Real life kissing is so much better than imagination.