Lol

I am on my father's hold and since I don't want to know what kind of milk he would make me drink and from where, I have to do something.

My mother and goblin aunty are not stopping him so the responsibility of saving my childhood memory came on my little shoulders.

And there is only one thing a baby can do in his defence…

Golden shower.

I pissed on the old man.

As soon as that hot liquid touched him, he let go of me.

Don't just drop me, idiot! I will hit the floor. At least hand me to someone else first.

Fortunately, my aunty was fast enough to catch me, saving me from dying again.

First my mother and now my father also almost killed me. And no one seems to care. Am I adopted or something?

Anyway, my goblin aunty knows how to carry me. She is holding me right. And she is even patting my head. She may be an idiot but she knows how to treat a baby.

Sorry for calling you goblin aunty all this while. I will call you Sofia aunty now.

"He really is my son. I also used to piss everywhere. Keep pissing like this on those Aliens too after growing up."

My father laughed. He mentioned about Aliens too. I have no idea what he means but he is happy, at least.

"But this was my only pair of clothes. He spoiled it."

Only pair of clothes? I kind of know we are poor but this much?

"Well, it doesn't matter. It will dry itself. Now give him to me again."

It doesn't matter? I just pissed on you! Ever heard of germs? And don't take me again. Have you no self respect?

My father reached out both his hands towards me.

Sofia aunty, don't give me to him. I just started calling you by your name as well.

Look at my innocent eyes. Don't abandon me.

But I should have known…

"Sure." This goblin aunty is an idiot.

She was ready to give me to that man. I have to do something again. There is one more thing a child can do for himself.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"

I let out the cry of the century. I cried harder than the chairs Optimus Prime was sitting on. If you even touch me I would explode your ear drums, old man. Go back. Go back.

"Oh. He doesn't want to go to you it seems."

Yes. You are right, Sofia aunty. Don't give me to him. Keep holding me. You are the smartest here.

"Or maybe he is hungry? He only drank milk for three hours after all."

You dumb goblin! I don't want any more milk. Why can't you get that?

"Yes. That must be it. Give him to me. I will feed him for five hours now."

Now my mother reached out her hands for me. For once, I can survive my father's milk but this woman will surely kill me. Five hours? I haven't even stayed alive for five hours here.

Sofia aunty, please don't give me to her too. I beg you.

"Here, sis. But I think five hours is still less. It should be at least seven hours. That's normal according to what I know."

What you know? Drinking milk for seven hours straight is normal? What kind of knowledge is being given here? Who is the teacher? Homelander?

Forget that, I have to cry. I have to cry again.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"

I broke the previous record of crying. I cried harder than the boy whose birthday I ruined when I was performing in an orphanage by saying a yo momma joke on his face.

Regardless, I cried hard in hopes that someone would come from outside and save me. If there are neighbours around this house, please come to this house. Forget worrying about privacy. Heck, kidnap me, sell me somewhere.

SLAM!

The door slammed open again.

The door sure is strong for something made out of rotten wood.

To hell with that, did a neighbour really come? Yes. Help me. A baby is crying at the top of his lungs in a house. There must be something wrong inside the house. Take me away.

The person came forward and I finally saw who it was.

An old, short female goblin.

Why so many goblins around? I am a human, right? My father looks human too.

"What are you doing with my grandson?" The goblin said.

She was my grandmother. So it was my grandpa who went to the goblin camp. He has some weird taste.

Anyway, save me, Grandma.

She came over the bed and snatched me from the goblin aunty.

"Mother in law, where were you?" My father asked.

So this granny is the mother of my mother.

"I went to inform your father in law about this good news. He was so happy he started doing me."

Doing you? And why are you even telling that to your son in law?

"Yeah. He does that. Haha."

My father laughed at that. This family is way too liberal.

Anyway, now that my grandma was holding me should I cry? Is she normal or is she just like the other members?

I stopped crying, nonetheless.

"Why was he crying?" My grandma asked.

"I was going to feed him for seven hours and just then he started crying." My mother answered and my grandma widened her green eyes.

I hope she sees the problem in my mother's statement.

"Are you mad?!" My grandma yelled.

Yes, they are mad.

"What happened?" Goblin aunty asked.

"He is a Human. Not a goblin. He would die if you fed him that long. Only five or ten minutes is the limit."

Finally, someone with brains. My grandma is smart. My mother was right about her.

"But he drank for three hours just fine."

My grandma jerked her head at my mother.

"You all are idiots. It's a miracle he survived. I have to teach you how to raise a baby."

She did kill your original grandson, grandma.

"Lol. I didn't know that." My mother showed her tongue. As if she had made only some silly mistake. And how did she learn to use lol?

"Lmao. I also didn't know that. I was treating him like a goblin."

Lmao? Sofia aunty, as well? This world is weird.

My grandma kept me in her arms and made my father write some pointers on how to raise a Human baby. She recited and my father wrote.

After finishing the list, my grandma gave me back to my mother and things were finally at peace. Grandmas are the best.

Now, let's do a one day time skip. An Mc without some action is nothing. You might lose interest if I did nothing.

So I slept the night and woke up the next day. And just after waking up, I saw that thing in front of my eyes which made you interested in my story in the first place.

A System.

[ Congratulations, you fulfilled the condition to acquire the system! ]

[ You survived 24 hours in this World called Moral and hence you are being rewarded with Overpoweredness! ]

[ You got Ac- ]

No. No. Don't tell the whole thing now. They won't go to the next one then.

[ Right. So.. ]

[ You got... ]

Nice. Now this is a cliffhanger.