Only Questions

The mirror reflected a washed up figure, the once voted hottest girl in school was barely a ghost reminding me of what I used to have or be.

My deep green eyes rested on my now more than ever prominent cheek bones. I must have lost some significant weight in the past year. 

I left the house as soon as I finished my shower and the daily doze of almost crying, sometimes I wonder about the absence of my tears. The only time I cried was at their funeral and according to the comfort groups I was made to be a part of, this reaction is undeniably not healthy. 

I suddenly stopped and breath in with all the strength I got the fresh minty air that welcomes you at the entrance of the forest.

As I grew up in a small town surrounded by nature we were told to never wonder in the forest alone, especially during the night, so my parents cleverly made it a family tradition to go in the forest together every Sunday, so neither me or my sister would be tempted to go alone. Of course they would tell us all sorts of stories about girls went missing as they rebelled. I slightly chuckled as the memory flashes before my eyes. 

I decided to keep the tradition alive, so every Sunday and every time I felt that reality is too much, I went for these walks in the forest, Jess refusing every single time to accompany me. 

Today has been the first day in my existence to resent my birthday, until this year my parents would make it all about me, breakfast in bed, and all that corny rituals that they absolutely loved, which made me even more grateful for being adopted by such a lovely couple. So, without question I needed to spend more than the usual time wondering around nature away from everything and everyone. 

Since most nights I'm too restless to sleep I grew tired with every step and passing second, so before thinking it through, I sat down near a giant tree and against my expectations I fell asleep. 

"Ivy..? Wake up!" A soft satin-like voice pulled me out from my sleep.

 I blinked a couple of time to readjust my sight to the dim light, jumping in horror when I realized it was already dark outside. 'How long was I asleep?!' I thought until my eyes caught a silhouette lurking in the shadows. 

Terror overwhelmed me and before I could think my feet were crashing into the ground in the opposite direction.

While I was running at a speed I never did before, I could feel that someone was watching my every move. I couldn't handle the pressure so I stumbled and before I knew it I was eating dirt. The fell did a trick on my now sprained ankle and a loud sigh slipped my lips.

I could barely see someone approaching and something ferociously from within made me yell from the top of my lungs "Stay away or you will regret it!" 

What did I just say?! How could I be so stupid to provoke whoever that is? What am I going to do, ask them nicely if he/she can stay still so I can give them a slap? 

I rolled my eyes at the insane thing I just said, but for some reason that body stopped approaching. My heart was still racing out of my chest, more confused than ever, however what came next sent me into a trance.

A vibrant howl shook the trees around as the body propelled itself in my direction and I closed my eyes in anticipation.

 'You can take him!' the same velvety voice rang in my head which for some reason soothed me, but even so, I wasn't able to move a muscle. The ever missed warm tears flooded my closed eyes and were now dancing on my cheeks. 

After less then a second I heard a relieving thud, which gave me the courage to slowly open my eyes and from what I could tell there was a fight in front of me. My eyes could only register two massive shadows generating aggressive, animal-like sounds. I took that as my cue to get out of there, so as silently as possible I stood up and limped away holding my breath the entire time. 

I exhaled involuntarily once I stepped out of the forest, but never stopped walking or looking back until I got safe in the house. By the same time I locked the door Jess popped her head out of her room. 

"Where have yo…." she finished her sentence abruptly starring at the mess that was me. Her confused face slowly transformed into a panicked one before opening her mouth again "What happened to you?!" She ran towards me and grabbed my hands "Are you okay?" 

All that I could muster was to nod and before I realize it tears were again streaming down my face. 

I was not a scared cat type of person, but the recent event played a number on my sanity. Nothing made sense and I definitely couldn't put it into words. So, as a responsible legal guardian, I chose to downplay it for my sister since the last thing I needed was for her to worry about me, even though it felt nice to know she was still there for me. 

"I went for a jog in the forest and last thing I know I got lost and sprained my ankle" pointing her to the visible swollen purple joint. 

"Jeez! You should be more careful S, is not like we have plenty of relatives left, lining up to take care of us."

That statement made the corner of my mouth to slightly raise in amusement, it was nice to see my sister still being able to be sarcastic as her usual self would have been in the past.

I took that as my cue to finally have a heart to heart conversation with her, pushing the events of today further in the back of my mind. Sure I had a lot to process, but there was no way I would waste this opportunity to bring us back together.

Before I could think I blurted out an "I am sorry!" filled with grief and pain that I had no success in hiding. 

She furrowed her brows, obviously confused about the timing and reason I was apologizing, but that lasted merely a split of a second, before she visibly understanding where I was going with this, and she did not like it. 

But before she could make a run for it I made sure she would listen what I have to say, I caught her hand into mine and more trembling then expected as my voice started ringing "Jess, I know this is a shitty situation, but is that way for the both of us, at least we have each other. I love you, and I would do anything for us to be closer especially now" I continued without breathing fearing that she would freak out and storm off in any minute, but shockingly she stayed quiet looking uncomfortable.