The Great Grocery Store Heist

It was supposed to be a simple grocery run.

It was not going to be a simple grocery run.

Because Crimson was in charge.

"Alright, men," Crimson said, standing on top of a shopping cart in the parking lot. "We are about to embark on a high-stakes mission."

Kai sighed. "It's just groceries."

Crimson ignored him. "This mission requires skill, strategy, and absolute professionalism."

"Or," MJ suggested, "we could just walk in and—"

"Silence!" Crimson yelled. "I have already devised a master plan."

Leon leaned against the car, smirking. "Oh, this is gonna be good."

Kazuki crossed his arms. "What's the plan?"

Crimson pointed dramatically at the grocery store entrance. "Cause chaos and leave before we get banned."

Bleaf groaned. "Can we just buy food like normal people?"

Crimson stared at him. "No."

And then he charged into the store.

The others, realizing they couldn't let him go in alone, ran in after him.

The Seafood Incident (a.k.a. The First Mistake)

The first disaster happened in the seafood section.

Crimson stopped in front of a tank of live lobsters. His eyes widened.

"Oh my god, they have pets here."

Kai looked up from the shopping list, confused. "What?"

Before anyone could stop him, Crimson shoved his hands into the tank.

The store manager screamed.

A security guard started running toward them.

And then—

"BE FREE, MY BROTHERS!" Crimson grabbed two lobsters and dropkicked them into the air.

"Crimson, NO—" Kai shouted.

Too late. The lobsters landed in someone's shopping cart.

Leon, laughing so hard he was crying, high-fived Crimson. "Best mission ever."

The Shopping Cart Disaster

Kazuki and Bleaf had somehow gotten roped into a shopping cart race.

But not by choice.

Because Crimson had jumped into Kazuki's cart and yelled, "GO, MY STEED!"

Kazuki, caught off guard, lost control and swerved directly into Bleaf's cart.

CRASH.

Cans went flying. Shelves collapsed. A kid dropped his ice cream in shock.

Bleaf, from underneath a pile of cereal boxes, groaned. "I hate this job."

Crimson, still sitting in the cart, pointed ahead. "We go again."

Leon vs. The Cashier

Meanwhile, Leon was busy making things worse.

At the self-checkout, he was flirting with the cashier.

"So," he smirked, "what time do you get off?"

The cashier, a tired college student, didn't even look up. "Sir, this is a self-checkout."

Leon leaned in. "Yeah, but I need assistance… with love."

Before the cashier could respond, Crimson appeared out of nowhere and slapped a family-sized bag of chips onto the counter.

"I wish to purchase this with honor."

Leon sighed. "Dude, this is self-checkout."

Crimson looked at him, then at the machine, then at the chips.

And then he scanned them forty times.

Alarms immediately started blaring.

Kai, from across the store, groaned. "Of course."

Kai's Son Joins the Chaos

And then Kai's son showed up.

Hani.

The seven-year-old ran straight up to Kai with a huge grin. "Dad! Are you here to get more fruit snacks?"

Kai froze. "Uhh—"

Before he could explain, Crimson picked Hani up and put him in the shopping cart.

"WELCOME TO THE MISSION, LITTLE MAN."

Hani cheered. "YEAH! Wait—what's the mission?"

"Chaos."

"Cool!"

Kai looked like he wanted to die.

The Escape (a.k.a. The Dumbest Getaway Ever)

After:

• Releasing lobsters into the store,

• Causing two cart crashes,

• Flirting with a cashier, and

• Making the checkout system explode,

Security finally came for them.

Vi, who had somehow joined them midway, stared at the approaching guards. "Crimson, what did you do?"

Crimson looked at her, then at the guards, then back at her.

"RUN."

The squad scattered.

Hani was still in the cart, laughing. "THIS IS AWESOME!"

Kazuki grabbed him and jumped into Leon's car.

Vi, out of breath, glared at Crimson. "What the hell did you steal?!"

Crimson held up a pack of gum.

"…Dude."

"IT WASN'T SCANNING PROPERLY."

The store banned them forever.

Kai, massaging his temples, sighed. "This is why we can't have nice things."

Crimson, completely unbothered, unwrapped a piece of gum and popped it in his mouth.

"Mission accomplished."