The trio - Marcus, Lucius, and the dumbfounded Lepidus - hungs out in an empty stall on the side of the road leading to Circus Maximus. Marcus sat on an empty barrel, crunching on nuts, while Lucius stood with his arms folded across his chest, his back on Marcus, watching Lepidus with concern. Lepidus, meanwhile, sat on a fallen barrel, gently swaying back and forth, staring blankly into space - looking like his world has ended.
To anyone passing by, the trio's poses would scream 'troublemakers'. But, in reality, they were just trying to lift Lepidus's dying spirits. It's been two days since his date ended, with his Caligula dulcis. Lepidus hadn't shared the details, but his friends could guess why he is being like this, from the devastated look on his face. And it seemed like Caligula had vanished into thin air - not even his shadow was seen in any public places. It's only been two days. But Lepidus is already going crazy because of it.
He is completely consumed by his thoughts and emotions towards Caligula, specially when he is alone back in his father's estate. The vilici and the other slaves he usually talked to, are asking him what's going on. So he always sought out his friends to hang out. But even when he's with them, Lepidus still feels like he is drowning and unable to respond and escape the overwhelming emotions that are suffocating him. He is aware of his friends's attempts to cheer him up '...but...', his line of thought trailed off. Lepidus sigh.
Before, when he is feeling down, and his friends are trying to lift his spirits up. He'll atleast try to be cooperative for their sake, but now, try as he might, he really doesn't have any will to pretend that everything is alright.
Then Marcus broke the silence, "You know, this isn't normal, is it?" he asked Lucius, still chewing, his shaggy hair hiding his eyes, but his concern evident. "Is it normal to be like this..." His mouth still full of half chewed nuts, pointed it towards Lepidus, making his face look comical. "..When you are heart broken? You're an expert in that aren't you, Lucius?" Marcus is referring to Lucius's former crushes that broke Lucius heart.
Lucius elbowed Marcus, his freckled face frowning at the sight of Marcus's mouth. "Disgusting!" he muttered. "Shut your trap, Marcus, you and your mouth." Not wanting to think of the noble ladies that he liked before.
Lepidus suddenly mumbled, "..so it's disgusting?" The two friends, who's fooling around, stopped, and wondered what Lepidus meant. Then their eyes widened as they understand his words. They scrambled to their feet and tried to refute Lepidus's question.
"Oh. Oh, you are listening to that? No no no.. whats disgusting? It's not disgusting at all, Lepidus.. ha ha, it's.. its Marcus that's disgusting! It's his face!" Lucius explained quickly.
"Yeah yeah.. no, what?.." Marcus started to say but realizing what Lucius said, "What, what did you just say Lucius??"
"That's not what I mean!" Lucius ignoring Marcus, still trying to explain to Lepidus that he does not find him disgusting after realizing what Lepidus is asking. "I mean, who wouldn't like Caligula, right? He's so pretty... it's an understatement! it's not.. its not disgusting at all!" Lucius said quickly.
"Yeah! he's soo pretty! A pretty boy!! Even i was crushing on Caligula, and i'm a boy!" Marcus joined, also realizing what Lepidus is asking, momentarily forgot what Lucius said about his face. He tried to help Lucius defend Lepidus's fascination with Caligula, but ended up not helping.
Lepidus and Lucius said in unison, but Lepidus's voice rose. "What????", Lepidus stand up to where he is sitting and faced Marcus. "You were crushing on Caligula?" his eyes wide with surprise. A sudden surge of emotion swelled inside him. Unable to hold it in, he slowly approached the now scared Marcus who hides at Lucius's back, afraid that he'll get punch.
"No no that's not what i mean... umpp ump..." Lucius turned around and slapped his hands over Marcus mouth to prevent him on saying another blunder.
Lucius still covering Marcus's mouth. "Lepidus, calm down! That's not what he meant..." Lucius now stood between Marcus and the towering Lepidus, whose eyes had become half-crazed.
Looking down on Lucius and Marcus face, Lepidus sighed, calming himself down, knowing that Marcus meant well, but hearing someone say they also had a crush on Caligula made his blood boil. 'What's this feeling?' Lepidus thought bitterly.
Marcus tried to explain again, but Lucius interrupted. Seeing Lepidus calming down, he tried to explain more with a hint of emotion in his voice. "What he wants to say is that.. who wouldn't see that Caligula is so.. otherworldly? He's so pretty that at a glance, you'd think he's a god or goddess... and that, it's not disgusting to like someone like that. There's nothing wrong with loving someone... be it male or female. Our hearts don't have eyes to see gender... they just beat. They beat and beat for the person you fall in love with."
Lepidus's eyes mirrored his feelings. "I don't know what to do anymore... if I could only take my heart out of my chest and tell it to stop beating for that person, I would have done it already."
The two friends exchanged worried glances. A long silence ensues. Then after awhile...
"So... what are you going to do now?" Lucius asked, his voice gentle.
"Do you have a plan?" Marcus asked.
Just as he was thinking, Lepidus spotted Asprenas standing outside the entrance of Circus Maximus, his entire attention shifted to where Asprenas is. He was four stalls away from them. He is chatting loudly with a group of what seems to be young nobles. Lepidus's heart skipped a beat as he scanned the faces of the nobles, knowing Caligula wont be among them as there is no one with his build in there. 'But just in case...', he bit his lip.
'I really want to see his face... just once... before i give up on him completely.' Lepidus said to himself bitterly.
Marcus called out to Lepidus, but he didn't respond, too busy watching Asprenas as he now wave goodbye to his friends. Lucius yelled in his ear, "Hey Lepidus!" Lepidus startled, looking at Lucius. "What?." He started to frown.
As Lepidus finally focused on his friends, whose attention is opposite direction from Asprenas. He also looked to where they were looking, then a chariot caught his attention, expertly navigating the crowded road full of people and chariot alike. When it passed them by, he saw a young girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen, sat in the chariot, wearing a light yellow palla. Beside her, almost hidden, was a blond-haired figure in a dark green tunic. Lepidus's heart started to race, he recognized the profile – it was Caligula. His eyes followed the chariot.
The chariot then halted near Asprenas, who greeted the passengers. "Salve Caligula, Salve Junia Claudilla!" Lepidus felt like he'd been drenched in cold water. His eyes locked onto Junia Claudilla, Caligula's fiancée.
The moment Lepidus saw Caligula jumping down his pretty chariot, which perfectly complimented Caligula's beauty. He felt like his breath got knocked out of him. He can't take his eyes away. And when Caligula offered his hand to Junia Claudilla to help her down the chariot, Lepidus realized the emotion he felt with Marcus when he heard him say he is crushing with Caligula - it's jealousy - plain and simple. Never in his life that Lepidus is violent, but right as that moment, he wants to chop off Junia Claudilla's hands.
'It's his fiancee..' he whispered, hearing Asprenas's greeting them earlier. Lepidus watched, another feelings arose - envy. 'They are so free to touch him so carelessly.. while i... i haven't even touched a strand of his hair!'
Clouded with jealousy and envy, he remembered that even in the munera when he accidentally touch Caligula's back, it was through his clothes, not a direct skin contact.
'I also want to touch his bare skin.. run my hands through his hair.. i want it all.'
He put his hands to his hair and clenches his fist and pulled his hair. The sting of pain made his head clear of his jealousy and envy. He should stop doing that. It's already been done, he has no right to feel those negative emotions.. 'He isn't mine... yet'
Lepidus unable to contain his feelings any longer, it's about to burst. He faced Marcus and Lucius. "Do you have any plan?"
***************************