CHAPTER 5 - What Doesn't Kill You

The whole promise that Carmen had made with the young Kazu had filled her with so much determination, the kind that made her feel like she could pierce the sky. She felt renewed, like she had been given a new purpose along with her new lease on life. Only for her will-filled bubble to pop the very next morning when she woke up feeling more than just a little under the weather. She had learned that what doesn't kill you could just make you unbearably sick instead of stronger sometimes.

Maybe it was all the muddy water she had drank the day before in haste, or perhaps it was her soul taking its time to adjust to a new body. Whatever it was, she hoped with all her might to never experience this kind of pain ever in this lifetime again. Her body ached with every movement, and the scent made her want to hurl with every intake of breath she had. Not to mention, how much she wanted to off herself out of sheer shame whenever her bowels started acting up and she had to do a number 2 in a bucket. Sadly, her preparations to build a home had to wait. But then again, it also wasn't all so bad. This gave her time to think before she dove into action. Though her ultimate goal was to leave the palace so she could live out the rest of her life the way she saw best fit, she knew from all the palace dramas she had had the time to watch in her last life along with her premonitions of this world's future that doing so is much easier said than done. She certainly didn't want to jump out of the snake's nest and into the lion's den. In other words, like any smart kid before they'd leave the safety of their parent's home where they at the very least had shelter, she would make ample preparations to make sure she would be well protected against any powers, imperial or not, that may threaten her safety, as well as comfortable in her daily life after she left the palace. Hence why she wanted to build a home, where she and her newfound little brother would be safe and at ease. Perhaps it was the lingering of childish innocence in his eyes, or the pure and overflowing love and adoration that sparkled whenever he faced her, but she had stopped seeing him as just the future King and first Emperor. At present he was just a little boy who needed a lot of love and protection; and she wanted to protect him, sparing him the pain he had to endure in his last life to reach the throne.

Though, that protecting would have to wait another day. With all the knowledge she had at her disposal, her mind began to plot out all that she could possibly do, with minimum capital, to one day achieve her ultimate goal.

The young Kazu had been ever thoughtful of his big sister being sick to the point of being unable to even move an inch without flinching in pain all over. In the morning, he had brought some fresh grass to her bedside for her to eat and though she found it difficult to refuse him as he was still such a small and pitiful child in her eyes, she had to adamantly refuse the meal that was only fit for cows and other herbivores. He left with a small frown on his face promising to return soon with some real food.

Kazu, though very much unsure of what or where exactly, could keenly sense the changes in his big sister. She had always taught him to be grateful for any and everything they had, no matter how meager and unsightly they were to the sight of others. But now she refused to eat the grass they had always eaten as breakfast for the strength to work throughout the day or even look at their drinking water. She had also always spoken in a low voice as if afraid even the shadows would hear her speak and he would have to lean in to hear her, but now, though not boisterous and still soft she spoke words clear enough for him to hear even at a distance enunciating all syllables without inappropriate emphases and forming clear words. He was enamored by her speech and also... the spark he had only faintly seen before but had somehow gotten brighter. They were not too different from the stars in the sky he would on occasion observe.

Looking at his hand he remembered what had happened the day before when they promised to build a home for each other together. "I already have a home," he had thought to himself. He had long regarded the girl who would comfort, feed and care for him as his home. Where she went, he would also go. He, in other words, regarded her as his north star, his guide and light. However, he understood that what she meant was a place where the both of them would be warm and never eat food looked down on by others again. He, too wanted that; a place they would both be happy.

His body crouched behind some huge jars filled to their brims with water placed on low platforms outside of the servants' kitchen outside of the cold palace, with his small frame it was too easy for him to not be seen as he attentively watched the servant's bustling around. Before, he had carefully observed how they operated on a daily basis and knew that not more than twelve servants were allowed to cook meals in the kitchens and at the present time, with the sun slightly peaking above the rooves of the one-story buildings scattered around and forming the huge palace, they should be getting ready to go and prepare the meals for the masters. Once they all left the kitchen would be empty for the time it would take for him to walk back to his little hut, which would be about five minutes. His plan was to sneak in during that time and steal some food to feed his sister and be on his way back to her before a handful of maid servants would come to guard the door until the cooks returned.

Little Kazu knelt on the hard and dirty floor until his legs went numb with his eyes stalked on the servant's kitchen while carefully waiting on their departure.