Universe

"I'm over here Ellie!" Noah said with a wave.

I caught sight of him and navigated through the crowd, sliding into the seat opposite him with a smile. He grinned back, his eyes lighting up.

"Finally you're here. Let's eat."

"I can't stay too long Noah. I have a class soon."

Noah nodded. "What do you wanna eat? Spaghetti?"

I wiped an imaginary tear from my eye, mock-sighing. "You know me too well, my dearest, most loyal companion."

Noah smirked and stood up. "Be back in a bit."

I watched him walk away, his tall, slim build weaving effortlessly through the crowd.

I kept my mind intentionally blank till he returned with two plates of spaghetti balanced on a single tray.

"Thank you so much," I said softly as I collected my plate of food.

As usual, a dull sense of shame washed over me, the familiar sting of my best friend covering my bill once again. Every single time.

"What's wrong Ellie?" asked Noah, already digging into his food. "Wow this is really good."

I laughed lightly. "Better than the chicken?"

"Ugh way better. This actually doesn't taste like cardboard."

I giggled.

Noah dropped his fork. "You didn't answer me though. What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. Just tired as usual of you paying for me."

Noah frowned. "I'm not complaining though."

"You don't have to. I shouldn't be a damn leech every time."

Noah shook his head. "Did I ever hint I don't want to pay for your stuff? I have the money. Who's even putting all these thoughts in your head?"

Oh Noah, they've always been there.

I shrugged and picked up my fork. "I know you have the money but I need to be more independent. I can't replace you with my parents in looking after me. You didn't kill them."

A tense silence followed, Noah staring warily at me.

"Ellie…what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just not as good a best friend as you think I am. That's why you do all these for me." I dropped my fork, my stomach swirling with unease.

"I do things for you because I love you. You're closer than a sister to me and -"

I held up my fork. "You're so cheesy dude."

Noah gaped at me.

"Let's kill the matter. All I am trying to say is I need a job. Sorry for being dramatic." I took a bite of my spaghetti.

"Ellie you brought up your parents. Don't try to underplay this conversation. Something happened, what was it?"

I frowned, a stagnant pool of anger in my gut beginning to bubble and rise. "Yes I brought up my parents and what of it? They were murdererd Noah. They were killed by masked men. Me saying it doesn't mean I'm about to jump off the deep end. I'm just stating facts."

Noah shook his head, looking utterly confused. "First time you're stating facts since they died six years ago."

I twirled my fork in my hand, my eyes feeling gritty hot. "Gotta start sometime right?"

Noah pushed away his plate, his eyes were sad. "Ellie talk to me."

"I am talking."

"I dislike when you get like this. I dislike it so much."

I shook my head and pushed more spaghetti into my mouth, though I couldn't taste it. All my senses were tuned in to not remembering.

I didn't want to remember.

Noah's eyes were sad. "I know you'll get a job one day Ellie. You'll be completely independent. Till then, let me have the privilege of being your prop-up. You've always been to me."

It took almost everything in me to smile at Noah. "I don't have a choice for now so please do continue."

We both didn't eat anymore after that.

*~*

I skipped my second and last lecture of the day. After sitting with Noah in an awkward silence for a few minutes longer, I had mumbled something about being late for class and left.

He didn't try to follow me. I knew he didn't know how to approach the situation.

I didn't know how to. It was just one of those days. Feeling like a traitor to Noah had made dormant feelings come bursting out to the surface. Bedrotting for the rest of the day would help.

It would also make me feel worse but beggars couldn't be picky could they?

I walked to my dorm and let myself in.

"Moana?" I called. No answer, she must still not be back.

I went to my room and flopped down on my bed, shoes and all. A nap would fix this. A nap would fix everything…

I woke up seemingly only minutes later and checked my phone. It was late evening and I had a missed call from an unknown number.

"I can't believe I slept for so long," I mumbled to myself as I dialed the number back.

"Hello?" I said when the call went through.

"Ellie!" It was Shari and phone still to my ear, I lay back down on my bed.

"Hey Shari," I said.

"Were you sleeping? You sound so tired."

Just mentally drained from fighting off thoughts of my murdered parents but y'know, normal right?

"I just woke up," I said.

"Okay, well class ended a few hours ago. I just called to know why you and Aiden didn't show up. Are you guys okay?"

I frowned. Aiden hadn't come to class either?

"I don't know about Aiden but I didn't come because I didn't feel so good."

"Oh I'm so sorry Ellie."

"'S fine."

"You should get in touch with Aiden though. He's your partner for the creative writing workshop course."

I blinked. "Who is?"

"Aiden. The lecturer noticed you both were absent when she paired everyone up for the semester long project today. So she decided to put you two as partners."

I removed my phone from my ear and stared at it, mind blank.

The reality sunk in seconds later.

Aiden was my partner.

I put Shari on hold and laughed loudly. This was just too crazy. I felt crazy.

"Well done universe," I chuckled. "You saw in my heart I was all set to ignore Aiden so that I can avoid any triggering feelings that would make me behave how I did today and so you do this."

I gave another bitter chuckle. "Well done."

I hit the button to resume the call again, Shari's voice flooding back into my ear. She was still talking, oblivious to the fact I had put her on hold."

"-can bring some soup for you tomorrow if you still feel not so good."

"Don't worry Shari, I already feel a bit better. I'll be in class tomorrow."

"Bright and early I hope Ellie. We have an 8am lecture."

I groaned internally. "Noted."

Shari said bye and hung up. I stared at my phone in wonder for a bit before flopping back to bed and closing my eyes. Project partners and a semester long project at that.

Universe:1 Ellie:0