chapter 18

ANATHI ZULU

I clenched my jaw.We used to be close and after I came out he distanced himself from me and our bond was no longer the same.I thought giving him space will make our relationship better but it never did.It got worse to the point that he wasn't scared of saying what he truly felt on my face not caring if that hurt my feelings.

I was now used to his behaviour and his words bo longer hurt like before.My parents don't know about his behaviour.If they did he'd probably be homeless in a blink of an eyes.

I wanted to pass by and he held my hand.

Lindani:I am still talking big sis

Me:I don't have time for your tantrums lindani grow the fuck

Lindani:Grow the fuck up? How will I do that when you don't even know if you're a boy or a girl

Me:My sexuality is none is your damn business

Lindani:It is my business , I was the one that got bullied at a school for It

Me:And you're telling me now ? For what what?

Lindani:If you were never this thing that you are none of that could have happened

I couldn't believe that he was blaming me for something I had no control over.

Lindani:If only you acted like a girl and stopped wanting to be a boy so much , I would be next in line to sit in dad's chair

Abongile: That's enough Abongile , go to your room

Lindani:I knew you were going to show you and fight her battles like you always do and just Incase you forgot , she's not your only sibling. I am also your brother

Abongile:Angidlali nawe Lindani ngizok'shaya , hamba uyolala mawungafuni ukuthi lokho kwenzeke (I am not playing with you Lindani , I'll beat you now go before that happens)

He laughed and went to his room.Abongile placed his hand on my shoulder.

Me:He was bullied because of my sexuality

Abongile:You know that's not true

Me:I'll be in my room...I need a shower

Abongile:Hey! Look at me... it's not your fault that some fucked up kids decided to bully Linda and please don't you even think for a minute it's your cross to carry okay?

Me:Okay

I went to my room and took a cold shower.I got done and wore a grey sports bra and boxers.I took my phone and called Bianca.Her voice was the only thing that I needed to hear.

She answered after the second ring.There was a lot of background noise and I couldn't hear a single thing.She moved from the noisy place and I could hear her properly.

Bianca:someone can't get enough of me , did you miss me?

Me:yes I miss you so much that it hurts , you're at a party?

Bianca:I made a friend and they invited me at a house party they're hosting

Me:That's nice

Bianca:Thank you for the roses and the chocolates , I love them

Me:I am glad you did

Bianca:When are you coming back ? Its so lonely in that big apartment

Me:I'll be back in 4 days I think

Bianca:4 days!!! You're not being fair

Me:I know...I'll make it up to you when I come back

Bianca:You mean I can get whatever I want?

Me:Yes anything you desire

Bianca:I love the sound of that

She giggled.I got butterflies in my stomach.What is this women doing to me?

Me:should I be worried?

Bianca:maybe

In the background I heard someone calling her.She told them she would be right there.

Me:That seems like a nice party

Bianca:It's not that bad...if only you were here it would have been much better

Me:I know right

Bianca:About earlier you don't have to worry about me.l'll be fine

Me:That's not making me feel any better

Bianca:I should head back before they send a search party...goodnight Ms Zulu

Me:Dream about me only...

Bianca:I can't promise that

I fight the urge to say I love you.I hanged up and laid on my bed facing the ceiling and smiling like an idiot.

There was a soft knock that the door and Abongile peeked his head.

Abongile:you're still not ready?

Me:Were you serious?

Abongile:since when do I play when it comes to groove

Me:You are aware that tomorrow we have a ceremony and will have to wake up at 03:00 in the morning right?

Abongile:Two drinks wouldn't hurt

Me: The last time we had those two drinks we nearly passed the boarder on foot

Abongile:Those were the days

Me:I missed my exam that day

Abongile:Are you in or out?

Me:I am in

Abongile:You have 5 minutes to get ready

He close the door.I got up from bed and wore a ripped skinny jeans with a black shirt unbuttoning the first two buttons.