088. Please Don’t Attack Me!

Kanade Natsukawa tried to remain calm, analyzing the situation. Why had Kaguya Shinomiya suddenly asked him, "President, you prefer boxer briefs, right?"

It wasn't normal to discuss such topics with the opposite sex, even if the two were close friends. After all, there were boundaries between men and women.

Wait—could it be that Kaguya had noticed he wasn't wearing any underwear? Was she testing him?

But how? He had concealed it perfectly all day. Not even the boys had noticed—how could Kaguya of all people figure it out?

Was it Chika Fujiwara? No, based on her behavior this morning, she didn't seem aware of it either.

If not Fujiwara, then the only other possibility was Miko Iino telling Kaguya. But Miko was such a serious and upright person—would she really gossip about something like that? At most, it could've been an accidental slip of the tongue.

Kanade glanced cautiously at Miko, who was seated on the sofa. She was indeed listening to their conversation, her expression visibly perturbed.

It must be her!

"W-Well," Kanade stammered, trying to smooth things over. "These things come down to personal preference, right? Some people like briefs, others prefer boxers, and some… don't wear anything at all. O-Of course, there could be specific reasons behind it—it's not necessarily a personal choice…"

What was he even saying?!

Consumed by the shame of "someone realizing he wasn't wearing underwear," Kanade's mind raced, unable to process rational thoughts. Instead of deflecting suspicion, he inadvertently painted himself as someone with a bizarre habit.

This wasn't an explanation—it was a confession of a peculiar fetish!

"Uh… I suppose it does vary by person…" Kaguya responded, momentarily stunned before determination reignited within her.

This is a missed opportunity!

Her plan had been to coax information from Kanade after softening him with innocuous questions. But just when she was about to succeed, he'd slipped away.

Why is he so clever? Being a little dense would make him more endearing!

Frustrated but unwilling to back down, Kaguya decided to escalate.

She placed a hand gently on her cheek and, adopting an unusually calm tone, asked, "So, President, are you a boxer briefs kind of guy?"

This was her "enforced serenity mode," a technique she had recently mastered. By maintaining a composed demeanor, she could suppress her emotions, no matter what happened.

The drawback? Any emotional turmoil she suppressed would hit her twice as hard once she exited the mode.

But Kaguya couldn't afford to worry about that now. She had to know—was Kanade a boxers guy or a briefs guy?

This obsession had started earlier that day when Yu Ishigami made an offhand remark: "Guys who wear boxer briefs are all players."

The thought had lingered, and now she felt an urgent need to confirm if Kanade fit the description.

"Ugh…" Kanade groaned as if struck.

He couldn't fathom why Kaguya, typically a dignified and reserved lady, would ask something so outrageous.

Wait—maybe it's because she's so refined that she doesn't see anything wrong with discussing this, like it's casual banter between friends.

Kanade glanced at Miko again. She wasn't even pretending to look away anymore. Kneeling on the sofa with her hands gripping the backrest, she peeked over, her wide eyes betraying her interest in the conversation.

"I-I guess… I prefer boxer briefs," Kanade replied, steeling himself. At this point, he could only act like this was a completely normal topic.

Fortunately, Kaguya hadn't asked something like, "Why aren't you wearing any?" He still had some room to maneuver.

"You prefer… boxer briefs…" Kaguya repeated softly.

In her mind, the pieces clicked into place.

Boxer briefs = players. Preferring boxer briefs = liking promiscuity. Kanade prefers boxer briefs = Kanade likes promiscuity.

"President… you're a player! I misjudged you! I trusted you so much, and you've betrayed me!"

Tears welled in Kaguya's eyes as she pointed an accusing finger at him.

"..."

Kanade sat frozen in place, utterly bewildered.

A player? Me? What?! All I did was say I preferred boxer briefs! How does that make me a player?!

Boxer briefs were practical. They provided plenty of space, full coverage, and minimized the chances of misalignment. How was that wrong?!

But before he could explain, Kaguya fled the room, her sobs echoing behind her.

Kanade was left speechless, unsure how things had spiraled so quickly. Then he remembered—he wasn't alone in the student council room.

Turning toward Miko, he saw her staring into the void, murmuring incoherently.

"The President is a player… Kaguya-senpai was cheated on… Am I next? Will I be silenced? Or will I be forced into… compromising situations…"

"Miko," Kanade said, standing and approaching her.

"D-Don't come any closer!" Miko leapt off the sofa, her face pale with fear.

"I-I didn't hear anything! I don't know anything! Please don't come after me!"

"I-I'm not even attractive! I'm short, plain, and have no figure—I couldn't possibly—"

"And another thing! I'm terrible at keeping secrets! Even if you threatened me to stay quiet, I might accidentally spill everything one day!"

"S-So please don't attack me! Just let me go!"

Her voice trembled, her pupils darting wildly. Then, as if struck by inspiration, she bolted for the door.

"Miko, wait—you've misunderstood everything!" Kanade called after her, but it was no use.

She was gone, leaving only a trail of panic and confusion in her wake.