This Time, I, Kotetsu Hagane, Will Not Longer Be Lazy

A loud honk, the screech of tires, and then—nothing.

For one moment, Alex Foster, a 27-year-old college dropout and professional stay-at-home disappointment, had been crossing the street with a half-eaten convenience store burrito in hand. The next, he found himself floating in a vast, ethereal space before being unceremoniously deposited in a very long line.

"What the hell?" Alex muttered, rubbing his temples.

Before him stretched an endless procession of lost souls, all shuffling toward a massive desk where a truly enormous red demon in a business suit stamped papers with mechanical efficiency. A golden plaque above the desk read: CHECK-IN STATION in bold letters.

"Wait… I know this place."

Alex had spent enough time binge-watching anime to recognize where he was. This was Dragon Ball Z's afterlife check-in station. And that meant…

"King Yemma? No way!"

After what felt like an eternity (which, ironically, was a weird thing to experience when you were dead), Alex finally stood before the towering bureaucrat of the afterlife, King Yemma. The demon barely looked up as he flipped through Alex's life records, mumbling under his breath.

"Let's see… College dropout, unemployed, binge-watched Naruto six times, spent over 2,000 hours on anime forums debating power levels… Wow. You really didn't contribute much, huh?"

"Uh, rude?" Alex crossed his arms. "At least I wasn't a villain or anything."

"Yeah, yeah." Yemma sighed, stamping a giant NEUTRAL SOUL on the file. "Alright, you get a choice: I wipe your memories and reincarnate you as a baby, or you go to Heaven and live the rest of eternity in peace."

Alex's face scrunched up. "Wait, that's it? What about, like, reincarnation into another world? Like an isekai?"

King Yemma frowned. "Absolutely not. Do you know how bad an idea that is?"

"C'mon, man. Look, I don't need overpowered abilities or anything. I just want a fresh start in a world I actually like."

Yemma groaned, rubbing his temples. "Last time I allowed this, some guy ended up in One Piece and immediately got eaten by a Sea King. And don't even get me started on the idiot who went to Attack on Titan thinking he'd become the next Levi."

Alex winced. "Okay, fair point. But what about a world that's a little safer?"

Yemma sighed, tapping his massive pen against his desk. "Fine. I'll make an exception, just this once. But no cheat skills, no overpowered gifts, no reincarnating as a main character."

Alex's eyes lit up. "Deal! Send me to Naruto!"

"Done." Yemma slammed his stamp down.

Before Alex could celebrate, a bright light engulfed him, and the sensation of being squished overwhelmed his senses. Then—

He woke up.

But something was off.

His body felt… different. His limbs were muscular, his hands calloused, and as he sat up groggily, a strand of dark brown hair fell into his face. He looked around at his surroundings—walls covered in scrolls, a headband resting on a nearby table… and in the reflection of a window, his new face stared back at him.

A familiar face. One that had spent years standing at the Hidden Leaf Village gates.

"No way."

He scrambled to the mirror and stared. He was Kotetsu Hagane—the eternal Chunin, the sidekick to Izumo Kamizuki, the gate guard guy that barely got screen time.

Alex—now Kotetsu—let out a slow, defeated sigh.

"Son of a—"

Alex took a deep breath, trying to process his new reality. He wasn't some overpowered protagonist. He wasn't the next Naruto, Sasuke, or even Rock Lee. He was just... Kotetsu Hagane.

"Alright, let's think," he muttered, pacing the room. He recognized the layout of the place—a standard shinobi apartment, sparsely decorated but practical. A kunai pouch sat neatly on the bedside table, and a Chunin vest was draped over a chair. He approached the mirror again, pulling down his headband slightly to reveal the two marks Kotetsu always had on his face.

"Of all the people to reincarnate into," he groaned. "I couldn't have been, like, Minato? Or even Shikamaru? At least those guys are cool."

A knock at the door made him jump. He stiffened, then instinct took over as he called out, "Uh, yeah?"

The door slid open, revealing a familiar face—Izumo Kamizuki, Kotetsu's longtime partner and fellow gate guard. The guy looked just like he did in the anime, complete with his standard shinobi gear and tired expression.

"You look like you saw a ghost," Izumo noted, raising an eyebrow. "You good?"

"Yeah, yeah, just, uh—long night."

Izumo rolled his eyes. "Well, snap out of it. We've got gate duty today."

Alex blinked. Oh right. The eternal Chunin duo—the guys who spent 90% of their screen time guarding Konoha's entrance.

As they walked toward the gate, Alex took in the village scenery. It was surreal—Konoha looked exactly like it did in the anime, but experiencing it firsthand was something else entirely. The streets bustled with ninjas, merchants, and civilians, the Hokage Monument loomed in the distance, and ramen from Ichiraku's filled the air with a mouthwatering aroma.

"This is wild," Alex whispered to himself.

"Uh, what?" Izumo shot him a glance.

"Nothing!"

At the gate, they assumed their positions. The usual job was simple: check visitors, confirm identities, and make sure no shady individuals got inside. But boredom quickly set in.

"So, anything interesting happen lately?" Alex asked.

Izumo shrugged. "Eh, we had some rogue merchants try to sneak in without a pass, but nothing big."

Alex sighed. "Man, how did I end up here?"

"You literally applied for this job," Izumo deadpanned.

Right. Kotetsu's life. Not mine.

Hours passed with nothing eventful. He rested his chin in his palm. "This is so much worse than I imagined."

Then, the ground trembled. A distant explosion echoed through the village.

Izumo snapped to attention. "That came from the market district!"

Adrenaline surged through Alex's veins. Oh crap, this is real. This isn't just some anime anymore.

Before he could process, Izumo was already running. Alex—Kotetsu—took a deep breath and followed. Whatever was happening, this was his new life. Time to step up.