Chapter 2

"Congratulations, your class is Virgin Destroyer."

I froze.

My brain tried to process the words in front of me, but all I could manage was a single, horrified thought: No.

And then it hit me all at once.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!"

I stared at the glowing words like a complete idiot, my mouth slightly open, my brain short-circuiting.

Eric. Eric, I swear to God, I'm going to murder you.

Okay, yeah. Sure. I'm 30. I'm a virgin. But what does that have to do with anything?! How is that relevant to the game? Do they have a background check for this kind of thing? Some kind of "are you lame enough for this class" questionnaire I missed?

And then it clicked.

"Oh no," I muttered, my eyes widening. "It's the meme, isn't it? The stupid internet meme! 'If you're 30 and still a virgin, you unlock turbo wizard powers.' This is it! I'm gonna be a god-tier fireball slinger! Raining destruction from my hands! Giga Chad Lucas, the Flame Emperor!"

I waited.

Nothing happened.

The words Virgin Destroyer still hung in front of me, glowing smugly.

"…Or," I said slowly, "this is the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to me."

The world around me suddenly shifted. The void dissolved into light, and before I could even yell another obscenity, I landed on solid ground with a jarring thud.

I blinked a few times, taking in my surroundings. It looked like your standard training zone: open fields with rows of wooden dummies, scattered weapons, and a few generic tents set up in the background. There wasn't a single other player in sight.

"Welcome, Player!"

I spun around as a tall man appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a purple coat that screamed I'm too fabulous for this game, a feathered hat, and a mustache so perfectly curled it could've been its own quest reward.

"Ah, a fresh face!" he exclaimed, spreading his arms wide. "It is I, Georgio, your most magnificent and extremely qualified guide to the wonders of Dungeon Realms Online!"

I stared at him for a beat. "Georgio."

"Indeed!" he said, twirling a cane that I was 99% sure served no actual purpose. "But you may call me…" He paused dramatically. "…Georgio."

I squinted. "Hang on. Why does that sound like something out of a Daft Punk song?"

Georgio froze, his grin widening ever so slightly. "Ah, a man of taste, I see! Yes, yes, some do say I have that energy. Everyone calls me Georgio."

I blinked. "You're actually quoting Giorgio by Moroder, aren't you?"

He tipped his hat, the feather swaying slightly. "And you actually got it. Well done, Player! You've passed your first test!"

"First test?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," Georgio said, grinning. "The test of recognizing greatness. But enough about me—let us talk about you!"

I blinked at him, my brain kicking into overdrive. Was this the AI Eric wouldn't shut up about? The whole "next-level NPCs who feel like real people" thing? Because if it was, they'd nailed it.

I mean, in all my years of gaming, I'd never come across an NPC dropping a Daft Punk reference. Not once. Most of them barely managed to string together sentences without sounding like they'd had a lobotomy. But this guy? Georgio was practically dripping with personality.

"If he's quoting Daft Punk," I thought, narrowing my eyes at him, "what else has he got in there? Are we talking full cultural awareness? Memes? Oh God, will there be League of Legends references?!"

Before I could spiral any further into my overthinking, I felt a strange vibration ripple across my body. It wasn't unpleasant, just… weird. Like a soft hum resonating through my chest.

Georgio stopped twirling his cane and adopted a thoughtful pose, his finger resting dramatically on his chin as he studied me with a knowing smile.

"You," he said, drawing out the word, "are a very interesting person."

I squinted at him. "Why do I feel like I'm about to get roasted?"

Georgio's smile widened. "A thirty-year-old virgin. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it does explain the class. Virgin Destroyer. Ah, the gods of irony truly outdid themselves with this one."

I stared at him, deadpan. "Wow. Thanks for that."

"Oh, come now!" Georgio laughed, throwing his arms wide. "Don't take it so personally! Your class is a rare gem, my friend. An Epic class, the rarest of them all!"

That made me pause. "Wait, Epic? Like… top-tier rare?"

"Precisely!" Georgio said. "On the entire server, I'd say there are maybe ten people who've unlocked Epic classes so far. And do you know where most of them are now?"

"Stuck in training grounds, wondering what life choices led them here?"

Georgio smirked. "At the top of the rankings."

That made me blink. "Seriously?"

"Absolutely!" he said, leaning in slightly. "The game launched two weeks ago, and every single Epic-class player has risen to the top of their respective leaderboards. They're all powerhouses, unstoppable forces of nature! And now, you, my dear Virgin Destroyer, have joined their ranks."

I crossed my arms, still skeptical. "If they're all so overpowered, why is my class called Virgin Destroyer instead of something cool like Nightblade or Shadow Emperor?"

Georgio chuckled, tapping the side of his nose. "Ah, but names are merely titles. It is the potential of the class that matters. And trust me—your potential is extraordinary."

Georgio straightened his hat and gestured grandly toward the empty training field. "Now, my dear Virgin Destroyer, it is time for your training. Here, you will learn the fundamentals of Dungeon Realms Online—because we can't have you stepping into this world completely clueless."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh no, heaven forbid I embarrass myself in front of all the other Virgin Destroyers."

"Ah, sarcasm. A defense mechanism of the highly intelligent!" Georgio said with a wink. "Now, let us begin. Open your interface by saying the word Menu."

I sighed. "Menu."

The air shimmered, and a sleek holographic interface appeared in front of me. I tilted my head, mildly impressed. "Alright, not bad. Looks better than most VR games."

Georgio nodded approvingly. "It is indeed state-of-the-art! Now, let's walk through it, shall we? First, tap on Stats."

I reached out and poked the glowing Stats tab. A list of attributes appeared, along with a small character model that looked exactly like me. No buff fantasy avatar, no cool scars—just me in leather armor, looking painfully average.

I stared at my stats, hoping for something cool—like maybe a hidden edge that screamed legendary hero material. Instead, this is what I got:

Stats Overview:

Strength (STR): 4Dexterity (DEX): 4Intelligence (INT): 4Charisma (CHA): 4Vitality (VIT): 4Luck (LCK): 4

There was a weird satisfaction in how symmetrical it looked—like I was crafted by some cosmic force obsessed with balance.

Georgio, of course, noticed. "Ah, yes! All stats at 4. Perfection. Reminds me of the great Jhin from League of Legends! The number four is—"

"Yeah, yeah," I interrupted, waving him off. "Four shots, four beats, something about making art. I get it. Master gamer here, remember?"

Georgio clapped his hands in mock applause. "Excellent! Then let us move on without delay. You must now choose your Gracename—your title for all the realm to see!"

I stared at the input field. "Oh, no pressure or anything…"

After a moment's thought, I typed something stupid, chuckling to myself.

Gracename: GigaChad420

Georgio froze, then his face lit up like I'd just discovered fire. "Ah, magnifique! A name that strikes both awe and intimidation into the hearts of all who hear it! GigaChad420—truly legendary!"

"Wait, no," I said quickly, realizing he was serious. "That was supposed to be a j—"

"Done!" Georgio exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "The name is locked in! May the world remember you as GigaChad420, the Virgin Destroyer!"

I buried my face in my hands. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

But before I could dwell on it, the training grounds started to dissolve. Georgio gave me a flourishing bow. "Farewell, GigaChad420! May your journey be one of glory, charm, and… seduction."

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of a bustling medieval town square. Cobblestone streets stretched ahead of me, lined with vendors selling fruits, weapons, and who-knows-what. NPCs walked by, chatting, arguing, and doing NPC things. It was way more alive than I'd expected.

Above me, a glowing banner flashed in the sky like a congratulatory slap to the face:

New Player Arrival: GigaChad420, Player #1000!

I cringed as the message hung there, like some cosmic joke broadcast to everyone in earshot. Before I could even process how stupid my Gracename looked in neon lights, another message popped up.

World Announcement:

Attention, players. The 1000th user has entered the game. The system's fail-safe has been activated.

A sharp DING rang through the air, loud enough to make me wince. The NPCs around me froze mid-step, their faces going blank like someone had yanked their batteries out.

"Attention, players," a booming voice echoed, cutting through the frozen square. "Due to unforeseen circumstances, you are now unable to log out of Dungeon Realms Online."

My stomach dropped.

World Announcement:

Players are now trapped inside Dungeon Realms Online. The only way to escape is to unlock the Sixth Island and complete the final dungeon.

The words hung in the air for a moment, glowing in ominous red text. Nearby players started shouting in confusion, while I just stood there, staring at the message like it might disappear if I ignored it long enough. Spoiler: it didn't.

Another notification appeared directly in front of me, as if it hadn't already been clear enough:

Your current objective has been updated:

- Survive.

"Well," I muttered, scratching the back of my neck. "This escalated quickly."

The NPCs around me came back to life, resuming their routines like nothing had happened. Other players wandered past, some yelling into the void about lawsuits, others muttering nervously to themselves.

I glanced at the sky one more time, half-hoping this was all just an elaborate prank. But nope—there it was, mocking me in big glowing letters:

GigaChad420

"Fantastic," I muttered. "Trapped in a death game, and I'm stuck with the dumbest name imaginable. Great start, Lucas. Really killing it."

And with that, my journey as GigaChad420, the Virgin Destroyer, officially began.