Chapter 14: Rewriting the Constitution with the Placenta Code

Wall Street's debt clock was counting down to the frequency of her contractions when Eleanor implanted brain tissue from her aborted fetus into the Statue of Liberty torch.CSA-08's umbilical cord wrapped around the Capitol Hill dome as the baby cries were converted via satellite into electoral votes: "Mom, fetal neurons have taken control of 538 precincts...recommending immediate activation of the 'Constitutional C-section'."

"Then let the United States of America be reborn from my birth canal." She ripped open the Bill of Rights tattoo on her abdomen to reveal the blockchain voting machine embedded under her skin. As the first drop of amniotic fluid seeps into the vote-counting system, the Great Lakes suddenly boil - the lake surfaces with the voter IDs of all the unborn fetuses, each ripple a waveform of Eleanor's uterine contractions.

Eleanor is wiping the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with her placenta when the Lincoln clone breaks in with the Secret Service. The barrel of the clone's gun is pressed against her bulging mechanical uterus: "You think you can use fetal brainwaves to...uh-ah!" Suddenly screaming in agony, his gun-wielding arm was bitten off by CSA-09 - the child genetically engineered with a Wall Street copper bull, teeth etched with the Dow 30 component stock codes.

"Dear Abe," Eleanor said as she inserted her severed arm into the ballot box, "Any idea why the Second Amendment provides for the right to bear arms?" The mechanical uterus suddenly opens up, revealing the CSA-10 soaked in Bitcoin mining fluid inside, "In order for me to legally carry this-"

Fetal umbilical cord suddenly ejects liquid constitutional amendment, Secret Service agents have their body armor corroded out of The Electoral College System Loophole Chart.CSA-08 takes the opportunity to transform Supreme Court justices into human voting machines, and nanobots with Eleanor DNA crawl out of the old judge's wig, "According to the Fifth Amendment ... bleep . ...citizens shall not be compelled to incriminate themselves...bleep...unless they are single mothers..."

Suddenly, there is a blackout across Washington, D.C. Eleanor's mechanical womb emits an ethereal blue glow that illuminates the new Constitution on the walls of Capitol Hill - clauses written in placenta amniotic fluid are overlaying the original text: the 28th Amendment: all males are required to be implanted with sterilization microchips until the Dow Jones breaks 100,000 points.

"Mom, they're making more abortion rights!" CSA-09 gnaws at the tires of CNN's live truck, dropping bloodied midterm election prediction models between its teeth, "Fox News is placing a bet with your maternity report..."

Eleanor converts a cunnilingus spreader into a Constitution transmitter. As the apparatus props up the Capitol dome, CSA-10 brainwaves sweep the nation's television sets - neuronal images of unborn fetuses are rewriting voter memories, "Now you remember...the Civil War was fought over the custody of my maternity bed! "

The Lincoln clone suddenly has an epileptic seizure and drills out of his ear canal the eggs Eleanor froze twenty years ago. These frozen germ cells automatically fission into The Election Fraud Evidence Kit, each cell membrane bearing the postal number of a swing state.

"Time to upgrade the game." Eleanor pours gasoline into her fallopian tubes and ignites the original Federalist Papers. The firelight illuminates the inscription on the inner wall of her uterus: Here lies the chastity of the thirteen colonies.The CSA Series children leap en masse into the fire, their mechanical hearts reassembling in the flames to form a new national motto-God in Whom We Trust, an alias for the Dow Jones.

As a National Guard tank rolls over the burning Constitution, Eleanor discovers the cryopod key upgrade in the ashes. The moment it was inserted into the cervix, the mechanical uterus spat out the Supreme Court's new gavel-sculpted from the pubic bone of a CSA-08, with the retinal chips of two hundred unborn fetuses embedded in the head of the gavel.

"The sentence is now pronounced," she swung the gavel at the Pentagon's nuclear button, "and the United States of America is officially renamed...Eleanor's Placenta Republic!"

Three hundred miles away, under the Antarctic ice cap, CSA-11 suddenly awoke. The monster, bred from the spinal fluid of a Lincoln clone and the sperm of a copper cow, is carving a new capital doctrine into the ice: a uterus rental fee for every breath, with the heart of the overdue automatically connected to the subprime mortgage crisis system.