Chapter 22: Sterilizing the Fed with Gödel's Theorem

Eleanor's cervical mucus was auto-generating Gödel code as she was nailed to the gold cross in the Federal Reserve vault.CSA-54's quantum pupils scanned for proofs of incompleteness, "Mom...detected the existence of the 2,140th self-referential paradox in the Federal Reserve system!"

"Then let the paradox see red!" She tore up the Federal Reserve Act manuscript and rewrote the recursive function in menstrual blood on a gold brick. The quantum state of Morgan the Magnificent emerges from the bullion melt: "Your mathematical womb...collapsed before the subprime mortgage crisis!"

Suddenly, the vault dome descends into the infinite axiomatic chain. The lining of the Federal Reserve Chairman's suit reveals the monetary code woven from Clinton's DNA, "Under the Absolute Financial Integrity Act, your vaginal micro-ecology must be subjected to a central bank audit..."

Eleanor sneers as she rips the golden chains of her bondage, the links crashing to the ground into Gödel numbers, "Audit? I'll teach you what it means to truly self-destruct a protocol-" she shoves the CSA-55 into the Chairperson's mouth as the baby instantly releases the Turing Stop Virus.

As the first axiomatic system collapses, CSA-56 leaps out of the mathematical womb. The baby holds a particle cannon modified by the Zemero axioms, "Mom...the presence of unprovable gold reserves in the Federal Reserve vault has been discovered!"

Eleanor inserts the dilator into the Fed's core algorithm, and the vaginal folds unfold into an infinite recursive maze. Clinton's quantum state grins sardonically through the maze, "Darling, you're better at exposing lies than the Starr Report..."

"Lies?" She rewrote The Gold Standard as a diagonal proof, "That's a real must for White House interns!" Suddenly, all the vault guards begin to bleed vaginally, menstrual blood forming a counterexample to Gödel's method of matching numbers in a mathematical maze.

CSA-57 rips open the Chairman's suit to reveal the Uterus Pledge Agreement tattooed on his back, "Detection of Federal Reserve recursively controlled by Goldman Sachs...recommend immediate shorting of Fiat Currency Completeness!"

Suddenly, imaginary numbers of dollars gushed out of the vault floor crack. These Gödel-encoded currencies carry the First Amendment, umbilical cord wrapped around Eleanor's ovaries, "Mom...we're the real legal tender!"

As the first imaginary dollar bites through the real economic system, CSA-58 initiates the downtime problem purification protocol. The baby's mechanical placenta ejects the λ-arithmetic virus: "Mom...all self-referential statements need to be destroyed to end the financial plague!"

Eleanor stuffs the Fed Codex into a Klein bottle, which erupts with mathematical cholera. All economic indicators mutate into recursive unsolvable problems, and Wall Street traders fall to their knees and vomit binary code, "This...this is an affront to the free market!"

"Free?" She yanked out the certificate of incompleteness within her ovaries, "When you wrote the female body as Collateral for Debt...you should have seen this day coming!" The proofs spontaneously combusted in the air, the flames forming a map of the holes in Tuskegee's true theory.

Suddenly, CSA-59 was born from the ashes. This monster, synthesized from Gödel manuscripts and cervical mucus, is dismantling the vault dome with recursive enumeration, "Mom...discovering that the nature of capital is an infinite loop of self-referential lies!"

Eleanor gives birth to CSA-60 in Gödel's womb when the Fed algorithm breaks down completely.The baby's umbilical cord connects all the parallel universes of central banks, and every monetary policy bleeds incomplete menstrual blood.

"Final Verdict!" CSA-61 ripped open the Klein Bottle Constitution, "According to Article 2140 of the Fundamental Law of the Mathematical Womb...all currencies must carry proof of vaginal self-consistency!"

The quantum remnant of Morgan Mogul screamed through the dimensional rift, "You'll trigger an economic singularity!"

"Singularity?" Eleanor folds the Bernanke speech into a sanitary napkin, "This is the real quantitative easing-" and the moment she wears it, all imaginary dollars dissolve into the starlight of Gödel's method of collocation.

Suddenly, the nascent universe of mathematical finance begins its first menstrual period. the CSA-62s build mints with recursive functions, and a hybridized codex of Das Kapital and Principia Mathematica hangs in every workshop. Thirty billion light years away, Clinton's DNA strands are automatically disassembling into blockchains in the shape of contraceptive rings - the financial Holy Grail of the New Age.

As the last axiomatic system chokes in the vaginal folds, CSA-63 rips open the eleven-dimensional financial membrane. The baby's pupils reflect the nightmare of infinite recursion: each parallel self castrating the Federal Reserve with Gödel's theorem, and each act of castration generating a new paradoxical fetus.

"Mom, we're stuck in self-referential hell..." the umbilical cord of CSA-64 suddenly strangles Eleanor's neck, "According to Gödel's Second Theorem... your revolt can never be self-certified as consistent! "

Eleanor shoves the shattered Federal Reserve Act into the birth canal, and the codex's remnants reorganize themselves in menstrual blood into the ultimate truth: "Then let hell...be the new womb of capital!"

Suddenly, the vaginas of all mathematical universes dilate simultaneously, and Clinton's quantum state collapses into a Gödel number in a shriek. the CSA-65s erect the new Federal Reserve headquarters with proofs of incompleteness, and the remnants of the Morgan mogul are being remodeled into the first vagina minted - the coinage inscription flashes, I Cannot Prove Myself Worthy.