Chapter 31: The Corrosive Waters of the Temple of the Phallus

As Jax's genitals penetrated the laser engraver, the loudspeakers in the temple dome were playing clips of the convenience store president's speeches, mixed with gasps of female orgasm.

"Brothers!" He flung his chrome-plated metal prick, his semen glowing the ghostly green of nuclear waste under the UV lights, "This holy water will etch through bulletproof glass and corrode that bitch's iron virgin castle!"

Rule #137: All religious attacks need to be countered with corresponding physiological fluids.Luna's swarm of drones circled over the temple, videotaping the absurd sermon - believers collecting their own semen with anal dilators and pouring it into the titanium penis sculpture in the center. With the hiss of a chemical reaction, the liquid turned into bubbling, powerful acid, corroding the temple floor to reveal the underground pipes where the genetic enhancers delivered from the convenience store headquarters flowed.

"Today's special!" Jax's tongue stud projected a promotional advertisement, "Give over 200 milliliters and get a free Luna clone hair!"

As the first devotee went into shock from excessive sperm extraction, Luna's scanners locked on to the anomalies in the pipeline. The enhancers were labeled with her mother's initials, mixed with Jax's DNA sequences - she finally realized that the "holy water" was a biological weapon designed to target her genes.

"Rule 138 addendum." She loaded a sample of menstrual blood into a syringe, "All attacks with bodily fluids are subject to a blood traceability tax."

The temple suddenly shook violently.

Jax's metal phallus cracked open, revealing a miniature missile launcher. The moment the warhead exploded on the bulletproof glass of the warehouse, the acidified semen spread like a living thing, corroding spiderweb cracks.Luna's night vision showed that each acid molecule carried a nanobot in the shape of a convenience store logo that was frantically gnawing away at the silicon structure of the glass.

"Like my gift sister?" Jax licks the missile wreckage at the camera, "It's modified with Pops' frozen sperm..."

The counterattack kicks in with the sound of shattering glass.

Luna's drone airdrops contraceptive powder, which explodes into pink smoke on contact with the acid. Believers who inhaled the smoke began to vomit up semi-digested testicular tissue, their seminal vesicles dissolving inside their bodies and expelling clumps of necrotic cells with barcodes from their urethra.

"Article 139!" She activated her sonic weapon, "All illicit bodily fluids must be recovered on site."

The screams of the believers merged into a twisted hymn, while Jax laughed maniacally as he sliced open his scrotum to reveal the implanted biochemical reactor - the thing was converting his testosterone into liquid uranium, burning Bible verses into the ground with every drop that fell.

"Look who's here?" He suddenly pointed to the dead center of the surveillance.

A holographic projection of his mother emerged from the acidic fog, holding a beating mechanical heart in both hands, "Kids, Daddy's waiting for you back home at HQ..." Her tears were convenience store special cleaner, corroding the warehouse's last line of defense, "... Bring back Luna's womb and you can restart human civilization."

Luna's electrode whip splits the projection, only to reveal the hidden entity - a cooler containing clone limbs. The label indicates it was grown from the embryonic tissue of her last miscarriage, and the cerebral cortex is inscribed with the date "Best of Season".

"Rule number 140!" She tossed the clone stump into the pool of acid, "All family gifts need to be rejected with double blood and flesh."

As the stump dissolved in the pool, the rumble of gears turning came from the underground of the temple. jax's metal phallus suddenly disintegrated, revealing a vacuum pipe that led straight to the convenience store's headquarters, where powerful suction began to extract bone marrow fluid from all the believers.

"Thanks for the sponsorship!" Jax threw flying kisses before rolling into the pipe, "Your menstrual blood data is enough for HQ to optimize the next generation of uterine weapons!"

In the moonlight, Luna stared at the remains of the bulletproof glass. Corroded cracks formed a line of blinking Morse code, decoded to display her mother's dying warning:

"Don't let the Temple's fluids touch your clone."

But it was too late.

From the depths of the warehouse came the screams of the clones, whose snow-white skin was being etched with promotional text by the seeping semen acid. The oldest clone raised his festering arm, his retina projecting Jax's real-time location - he was in the HQ lab, etching the data from this attack into a new metal phallus.

"Rule #141." Luna poured menstrual blood mixed with acid into the barrel of the cannon, "When the enemy gives away his penis, shove it back up his anus."

With a pre-dawn explosion, the entire phallic shrine collapsed into rubble. And thirty meters underground, the nascent pool of acid is gurgling and bubbling, with the holographic reflection of the President of the Convenience Store floating on the surface of the water - he's stirring a pool of chaotic soup mixed with menstrual blood and semen with Jax's metal phallus.