Sacrifices To Jupiter V

My name…

What was my name? Chandra? No, that's the name bestowed to me by the bastards.

I had a name. A name my friends and family referred to me as.

I have a name.

"Chu…"

"Chu?" she asks, bewildered. "What a weird name."

"No, not that. Let me think…"

***, I wish I never fucked that filthy bitch! Is this all you could get for today?! That's not even enough for booze—

You want to sell your organs? What a weird kid. I don't know people who harvest around here. Though ***, you do have sleek looks now that I look. There might just be a demand for your body—

You— You didn't kill the old man, did you, ***? They'll be up your ass in days! They will kill you! They will kill your sister too! No, by her looks, it's worse! They'll either fuck her to death or enslave her! Why did you not think of the others?

"I do remember!" I shout. Fuck, didn't mean to.

"My name is—"

"Chan!"

I say proudly, brushing my nose.

Mari stares at me blankly, her lips pursing before twisting, wrinkling her nose like she tasted foul.

Do I really look that ridiculous? Does purple really not fit me at all?

"Umm…" she mutters, extending her hand once more. "Let's cooperate, Chan. Let's be friends. But let's have an equal grounding. Since I've promised that I won't lie to you, I ask that you promise me that you won't ever spontaneously kill me."

What am I, a madman? Hmph!

I grab her hand, forcing a smile. "I promise, Mari."

Around us form lights. They speak to me.

That I've successfully changed my fate.

This very day, I was meant to kill everyone, not just the two, but I abstained.

I can now see your future, Mari. I can clearly feel it.

Although it looks bleak, and cloudy, and dark—

Beyond the obscurities and obstruction—

Light.

There's light.

Blazing, bright, kind.

A future, where there's no me.

"Umm…"

I tilt my head. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know where to begin…" Her lips press together in quiet deliberation

Mira fingers her arms loosely, her other hand slipping up to her chin. "You really don't seem like you know a thing."

"Did you just call me stupid?" I tilt my head to the other side, smiling.

That head of hers, I suddenly feel like bashing it.

Maybe I'll get to know everything once I eat her brains.

"No no no—" Mira anxiously waves her hands in protest. "I'm just stating facts, you know?"

Sweats dripple down her cheeks.

"I did say I won't spontaneously kill you, but you're giving me reasons to reasonably kill you, my dear friend," I tell her with closed eyes.

"Don't let your sin consume you!" she yells at me, pointing a finger.

Huh? The hell is this kid—

"You feel it, no? As if someone is controlling your mind! As if you're not in your right mind, yes?" Her words flow fast like rivers like she's rushing to get through them before fear takes over. "The matter of fact is, it only gets worse. The more you sin, the sweeter it tastes, the easier it becomes, and the less you feel. And the less you feel, the less you care about repentance."

Annoying. Ha, to think that I'm getting lectured by a kid! This brat doesn't know her place—

"You'll lose yourself inside the deepest corners of the abyss, and the darkness will start to feel like home! You'll lose yourself and become a complete monster!"

The kid throws her arms wide, chest exposed, chin lifted, a grin stretching across.

"Come kill me then!" She laughs nervously, her actions defying her frightened eyes. "Show the world how weak you are!"

…

She steps forth, approaching me before standing before my eyes, looking up at me with a suicidal grin.

"What are you waiting for? Do it!"

Bold of her to assume I'm not going to take her on the offer.

I raise my hand, sharpening the claws.

"But know that you will remain a plaything for the deities!"

"Know that you cannot control your wretched self!"

"Know that you will continue to be miserable!"

"Until you drown in sin!"

"Until your last breath!"

She shouts and shouts.

Her shouts echo, and wane, yet remain as piercing.

Then silence. Silence shrouds the shadows.

I look at her as she looks at me, boldly.

"Hahaha…" I chuckle. I can't help myself. This kid… "and here I thought you were a scaredy cat. But you're willing to throw away your life so easily… I see…"

"I was the presumptuous one, wasn't I?" My face cracks, my eyes widen, and my lips curl upward without asking me. Laughter builds inside of me. Demonic, disgusting.

"All along, I was the one lacking in resolve, wasn't I?" My eyes sear, and my fingers twist, clench and crack. "You're right, I'm miserable."

I dawn my hand.

Mira shudders in shallow gasps, scared shitless.

Her fingers clutch the sleeves of her tunic.

Then I strike.

She closes her eyes, twitching.

I pierce my heart, grabbing onto the warmth and plucking it.

How painful. How agonizingly painful.

She opens them, her eyes. Gaping in relief, then horror.

"I feel better," I say calmly. "What? The worst is it stops regenerating and I die."

I sit on the cold floor in a lotus position, pointing opposite me.

"Please sit, Mira."

"That robe cost me a fortune…" she bickers in murmur after backing away. "What's wrong with you…" 

Hmm… Nothing. Perhaps everything. I'm not certain. If I knew, I wouldn't be wrong. Who wants to be wrong?

"The dungeon core doesn't have an infinite mana reservoir, you know? That heart may as well not grow back," she points out.

"So?" I bite on it, munching. "I seem to be doing pretty fine without it."

"Umm… no…" she mutters. "I'm not an expert regarding demonology, but I'm pretty sure most beings die without a heart."

"Just sit," I tell her, running my eyes through her. "What's done is done. There's no point lamenting. You should've warned me."

"Could you…" she whispers, her voice breaking midway. "Can you put that away? It creeps me out…"

"But it fills my heart."

"You have no heart".

"Right." I throw my second heart to the back.

Shit tastes bad anyway.