L'Opéra De Géhenne I
My name is Nanette.
Twenty years old.
Paris— France.
Today—
I'm going to kill myself.
But I can't just die right?
Hahh. We only live once.
So I want to fuck shit up before.
I've pondered for a long time.
Manslaughter? Arson attack?
But no. Boring. Too stupid.
Too simple. Too primitive.
My name is Nanette.
Twenty years old.
Paris— France.
Today—
I'm going to blow up the Eifel's Tower.
There's nothing to lose whether I fail or succeed.
When I think of the news… my face plastered on every outlet…
AHHHHHH I-I-I cantttttttttttt AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Everybody singing my name. Nanette. Nanette. Nanetteaaaaaaaahhhhhh
I slide my fingers down my red gown. Deeper~ Harder~ Faster~ Faster~ Fast~
Ahh AHHH AHHHhh AHhhh AH AH AH~ ah. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—
Ah. Where were we?
My name is Nanette.
Twenty years old.
Paris— France.
Today—
I'm going to drive a van full of explosives to the iron lattice of the tower.
I finger the detonator. The detonator feels warm in my hands.
This little thingy has my life in its little antenna.
I gulp. I gasp. I prostrate on my seat. I exhale.
I exhale the antenna into my mouth. I lick it. I bite it.
Metal. Plastic. Deeper. Fuller. Then smear my blood on it.
Then down it goes. Then in it goes. Then in and out it goes.
Ahh AHHH AHHHH AHhhh AH AH AH~ ah. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Silence.
Smiling.
Ehem.
Apologies.
How uncivilized of me.
I almost just blew myself.
In every meaning of the word.
But let me introduce myself to you.
My name is Nanette.
Twenty years old.
Paris— France.
Today—
Today is a good day.
The weather is gentle.
The birds are chirping.
The moon shines coolly.
The moonlight pierces me.
The cozy breeze caresses me.
The city lights glow before me.
The vendors pack up their stalls.
The tourists are snapping pictures.
The lovers walk alight with wonder.
Romance. Romance. Speaking of romance…
I must tell that bitch I sucked her boyfriend off.
A little farewell gift before I turn into fireworks.
With my bloody fingers I reach out for my phone.
Her pink name glares at me as I triple tap the screen.
Then an annoying notification pops out out of nowhere.
Sure
A cute anime boy suggestively stares at me with sunny eyes.
Sure.
The Fish Constellation Pisces grants you an opportunity to participate in the Grand Battle Royale!
Sure.
Press now and escape into the magical and mysterious world of Noitavitluc!
Oh?
What am I doing again?
Hmm.
Ah. Killing myself.
Right.
Why am I then taking a random survey?
Annoying.
Just let me play the interesting sounding game.
Fine.
Was about to offer the rest of my money to a gambling corporation as a charity.
Sigh.
Better used than taxes that do nothing but redye the buildings and rerepair the roads.
Anyway.
1: Is all life equal?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
Who the fuck cares?
Yes.
All life is equally worthless.
2: Is there no absolute truth?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
Can I not skip the survey?
Yes.
Humans invent truths because they fear chaos.
Love?
A chemical reaction.
Justice?
A social construct.
Morality?
A fucking joke.
3: Is there no good and evil?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
When does it end?
Yes.
Yes Yes Ye—
6: Is there a meaning of life?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
Who in the name of teenage angst made this?
Yes
I gave myself a purpose and made my own meaning even if it's burning everything down.
Indeed.
If nothing mattered then I wouldn't be sitting in a van full of explosives waiting to rewrite history.
Well.
I am deluding myself in a sense.
8: Is suffering the default state of existence?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
Sad that my vibrator has no charge.
Yes.
Every living being chases something for the thrill of life.
Curiosity—
The greatest curse is to keep wanting no matter what.
Deliberation—
Every second of life is avoiding pain which is pain in and of itself.
Unfortunately—
Happiness is momentary while suffering stays and follows eternally.
Inevitably—
The rich wouldn't step on the poor and the strong wouldn't strive off the weak if suffering weren't a default.
11: Is democracy a form of tyranny?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
Am I out of cigarettes?
Yes.
Democracy is a government by the people for the people.
Yet.
Perfect democracy is more tyrannical than dictatorship even.
Yep.
People want the majority to rule because they're part of the said majority.
Idiots.
In reality the majority is incompetent.
Truly.
They underestimate how moronic and gullible an average person is.
Hence.
Democracy is when mobs rule individual freedoms.
Hence.
Democracy is the best form of propaganda.
Hence.
Democracy is about convincing people they are free while controlling them.
Ingenious.
Whoever came up with this.
Stupidity.
The masses fail to question as to why a farmer and a drunkard should have equal say in nuclear policy only because democracy makes them feel special even when they're equally powerless in a system they themselves have built because of the rule of the said majority.
Ironic.
The ship full of sheep.
Where?
Where is it headed but a slaughterhouse?
18: Is war the most efficient form of diplomacy?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
My throat fucking hurts.
Yes.
Be they treaties or negotiations or debates they are oftentimes dragged on for years and for decades and for centuries where the losing side doesn't get to argue. Reality is such that there is no empire that hasn't killed its way into existence where a well-placed gun was worth a thousand speeches.
Diplomacy without war is just a theater whereas the real negotiations begin during and after the war. All diplomacy leads to war whereas all war leads to diplomacy in turn wherein it's a predictable and bloody efficient perpetual cycle.
Just look at the relations between Japan and America or look at how German ancestry is treated with scorn by their own descendants.
How the Napoleonic Wars led to the Congress of Vienna and stabilized Europe for decades.
Peace itself is built on war.
Shit. When did I get invested in this bullshit quiz?
28: Is the idea of childhood innocence just a convenient lie to keep young obedient?
1. No
2. Yes
3. —
Yes.
People equate innocence with purity. Children are just uninformed.
They just haven't had enough power to do real harm yet.
They can be just as selfish and cruel as adults given a chance.
Just because a toddler hasn't figured out how to kill doesn't mean they're innocent.
The romanization of childhood serves to keep kids obedient in the first place.
—Stay pure and naive. Listen to authority and don't question the rules.
Childhood isn't about being safe but rather being trained to obey without realizing it.
A child who experiences suffering and betrayal will eventually lose the hypothetical innocence be it at the age of two or twenty.
There are kids who grow up in darkness while others are protected by wealth and luck.
Why then does it only exist for the lucky few if childhood innocence were real?
Innocence is merely ignorance and all who say otherwise are as ignorant as they are arrogant.
There is no innocence.
Innocence is disguised propaganda.
The notion of childhood as a time of innocence and dependence is recent.
Children throughout history were oftentimes expected to work and contribute to society early on just like adults.
Teaching children that they are too innocent to understand will limit their ability to question authority or engage with the world critically.
They are groomed to become corporate slaves raped in both mind and body till their deathbeads.
A fate worse than poverty and abuse and war and exploitation.
A fate in which they take pride in their chained collar.
They then in turn reprimand all creative pursuits.
They not only enjoy rape but insist others experience the same fate.
I am done getting raped.
My name is Nanette.
Twenty years old.
Paris— France.
Today—
I'm going to kill myself.
But first I have to finish this damn survey.