Controlling Her Fear

The rest of the day passed in a flurry of preparations. Kai gathered Edda, Benton, and two orchard workers who had proven adept at quiet scavenging. Harriet offered Jonas—a strong, silent type—for additional muscle. Tamsin grudgingly nodded her acceptance, so long as watchers maintained heightened vigilance in the compound.

Leila oversaw ration distribution for the scouting party—water skins, dried produce, a little fresh fruit to boost morale. They'd carry minimal firearms, relying more on silence than brute force. The donkey loaded with basic supplies stood near the orchard gate, occasionally braying at the bustle of activity.

Tamsin approached as Leila double-checked the donkey's harness. "You trust Harriet's man Jonas to go out there? What if he's a link to raiders?"

Leila held Tamsin's gaze steadily. "He's contributed to farmland expansions, outpost building, orchard tasks. If he betrays us, we'll handle it. But we can't keep them locked away forever, not if we aim to unify."

Tamsin's eyes flicked to Harriet and Jonas conferring with Kai and Edda. She released a slow breath, arms still crossed. "I just hope we're not giving them rope to hang us with."

"I hear you," Leila said gently, "but each success we share with them under watch proves they aren't saboteurs. This is how we move forward."

With that, Tamsin stepped back, scowl softening a notch. The donkey stamped its hoof on the dirt, ready for departure.

That evening, the courtyard settled into an uneasy calm as watchers finished the day's shifts. The donkey grazed near a feed station, loaded with two small sacks of supplies. Kai's group spent hours sharpening blades, checking the donkey's harness, and quietly discussing how to handle undead or potential raiders along the highway. Harriet's group milled about under watchful gazes, Jonas included, his posture calm as he listened to Benton's suggestions for stealth.

Leila perched on a low crate near the orchard gate, observing from a slight distance. Her mind spun with possibilities—what if they never returned?—but she forced the panic down. This was the settlement's next step: pushing beyond known borders, seeking resources that might ensure survival if Jace's band attacked or infiltration drained them from within.

After final instructions were laid out, watchers escorted Harriet's people back to their quarters. The orchard staff headed to bunk down, leaving the courtyard quiet except for the occasional torch crackle. Leila walked with Kai toward the orchard fence, the hush of the orchard again lending them a semblance of privacy.

She swallowed, heart drumming. "You have everything you need?"

He dipped his head in confirmation. "We leave at dawn. Should be back in a few days if everything goes smoothly."

She exhaled shakily. "I won't lie—I'm worried. But I trust you, and this mission could be a game-changer if we find safe routes or salvage."

His eyes reflected that gentle concern she'd grown to rely on. "I'll keep them safe. We'll retreat at the first sign of trouble."

They paused, shadows from the orchard branches crisscrossing over them. She considered stepping closer, maybe offering a fleeting embrace, but the old fear still pressed against her chest. Instead, she offered him a faint, grateful smile. "Thank you, Kai."

He read the unspoken tension in her posture and simply nodded. "Get some rest, Leila. Tomorrow's going to be busy for all of us."

Her lips quirked in a tentative half-smile. She forced down the longing that threatened to swirl up, the desire to hold onto him. We're not there yet, she reminded herself, letting him slip away into the orchard's shadow as he made final checks.

The next morning arrived with a crisp chill and a sky streaked with dusty gold. Leila stood at the orchard gate once more, Tamsin at her side, watching as Kai's scouting party assembled. Edda and Benton wore light packs, their expressions a mix of excitement and nerves. Jonas, quiet and stoic, tested the donkey's harness straps, occasionally exchanging nods with Harriet, who lingered behind watchers. Two orchard workers double-checked their meager weaponry—mostly machetes and short-barreled firearms.

Kai approached Leila last, adjusting the strap of his own pack. He glanced at Tamsin, who simply stared back with parted lips as if wanting to warn them again. But she said nothing. Instead, she gave Leila a sidelong look, as if acknowledging that this moment was important for them both.

Leila forced calm into her tone. "All set?"

Kai nodded. "We'll follow the highway route Edda and Benton scouted, keep to the roads, avoid dense areas if we see signs of undead. We'll check any salvageable vehicles or old structures we find. If it's too dangerous, we come back."

Her heart battered against her ribs. "Right." She paused, searching his gaze for reassurance. "Come back safe."

His lips twitched into that faint, soft smile she'd grown accustomed to. "I promise," he murmured, voice low enough that only she could hear.

She nodded, the tension in her chest loosening just a fraction. With a curt signal, Edda led the donkey out the gate, the rest of the party following. Tamsin's watchers stepped aside but maintained vigilant eyes, scanning the horizon. The donkey brayed once, as though protesting the journey, but bent to the path.

Leila stood there, arms wrapped around herself, the orchard's battered trees behind her and the farmland outpost in the distance. She watched until Kai's group faded into the early morning light, swallowed by rolling hills and the uncharted horizon. A swirl of fear and pride churned in her stomach—fear for what they might encounter, pride that they were pushing boundaries, refusing to let Jace's dread paralyze them.

Tamsin lingered for a moment. "You okay?" she asked stiffly.

Leila nodded, not quite trusting her voice. "We'll hold together here. Keep watchers on the orchard and farmland. Keep building. By the time they're back, hopefully, we'll be even stronger."

Tamsin studied her a beat longer, then grunted. "All right. Let's not get complacent, though. Harriet's group is still a question mark."

Leila forced a thin smile. "Duly noted, Tamsin."

She parted ways, ignoring the flicker of tension left by Tamsin's words. The orchard staff resumed their morning tasks, orchard watchers took post, and Harriet's group aided in mundane chores under the usual careful watch. The donkey's footprints were the only reminder that a scouting party had just ventured into unknown territory.

She allowed herself a quiet moment, stepping up to the orchard's edge, letting the mild breeze ruffle her hair. She closed her eyes, taking a breath. This is me, controlling my fear, she told herself. Kai's out there, but he's capable. My own terror can't hold him hostage.

The orchard canopy overhead whispered in the gentle wind, as if offering solace. She thought of the farmland expansions, the festival's fleeting unity, the slow bloom of trust that had transformed Harriet's group from potential infiltrators to helpers. They had come so far. One step at a time.

A watcher's voice called from across the courtyard, summoning her to address some orchard detail. She opened her eyes, squared her shoulders, and headed back. The day had just begun, and though her heart clenched with worry for Kai and his team, she took comfort in the settlement's tangible strength. They had farmland thriving, an outpost guarding them, watchers loyal and watchful, and a sense of unity that had been elusive before.

Let Jace muster his forces in distant ruins; let infiltration remain a threat. This settlement, for once, stood on steadier ground, forging ahead despite the apocalypse's gloom. And if her fear for Kai's safety gnawed at her, she wrested control of it, refusing to let old traumas dictate every breath. He had promised to return, and for now, that promise would keep the nightmares at bay.

Thus, a new chapter in their evolving story began, with the scouting party venturing down an uncharted highway under a tentative sunrise—a symbol that hope might yet be found in the wreckage of the old world. And Leila, though haunted by her past death and Jace's looming betrayal, found a measure of resolve in the community's blossoming unity. She would lead them, watch over them, and trust that Kai's vow to come back would hold true. If it did, perhaps they could carve a future beyond fear's iron grip.